Sister Weekend

Well I had the most lovely weekend. My only regret is that it could not last forever.

My sister Jenn visited me! We have been best friends for the past 14 years. You may remember I was in her wedding six months or so ago...

Obviously, she is incredibly fabulous.



I felt a little plain in comparison, but don't feel sorry for me. I enjoyed basking in her glow!



We spent the weekend watching movies, drinking wine, pigging out on junk food, and of course, shopping!



Jenn has excellent taste. Here is a painting of a dog she bought her husband. (The dog face in the painting is the splitting image of their puppy Charlie).



I can't even begin to describe how wonderful it was to spend the weekend with Jenn. Even though we live four hours apart, we don't get to see each other that often. Jenn is usually extremely busy with her musicals (she is a professional singer and stage actress) and I am usually without transportation or money.



To say I had an awesome time with her is an understatement. It was the most spectacular weekend in history!

Nothing is more heart-warming than spending time with a close friend who has blossomed (and wilted, occasionally) with you over the years.

When we first became best friends, we were two 13-year-old girls who shared a passion for horror films, tennis, and the Spice Girls.

Today, we still feel like those two little girls from seventh grade, but we know we must have changed. (I hope, haha).

After all, we've been through millions of life-changing adventures together ( nerve-wracking dance recitals, boring summer jobs, ski trips, graduations, breakups, marriage etc.).



It's nice to have someone like that in my life. A friend who I know is never going to disappear on me.

I'm kind of depressed she went back home this afternoon. Because now I'm left alone, to continue on in my boring, dismal life.

So sad...

Thank You For Being A Friend

My bad week is over. A good weekend is about to begin.

My sister Jenn is visiting me for a few days!

I couldn't have asked for a better gift.

Have a good weekend. xoxo

Helplessness Blues

Have you ever felt like you were stuck between two worlds? An old world and a new world? And you're not quite sure when the old one ended and when the new one will begin?

I'm trapped in time, just waiting. It's an odd feeling. The months have just glided by so quickly and so effortlessly.

Last night, I spent the night at my parents' house. My mom and I got drunk until 4 a.m., just like the old days. It used to be our ritual, from the time I was 17 until the time I moved out three years ago. Pink wine and late night movies.

We think we are so brilliant and philosophical during these nights. We talk with great importance about things which really aren't that fascinating. We come up with theories about family secrets we will never know.

And somewhere in the midst of my drunken oblivion last night, I realized my life was bundled up in this time warp.

Now I'm extremely tired. My lack of energy this year has been astounding.

Oh, and... May 3rd will not come soon enough. One of my favorite bands, Fleet Foxes, releases their new album that day. Check them out. Good shit.

Listen to this song and dream.

Review: HANA Air Premiere Hair Dryer

I'm having a really good hair day today.

My hair is soft, bouncy, and glistens in the sun. I'm not gonna lie. I should be in a shampoo commercial right now. I look hot.

I have a confession to make though: the reason my hair looks so good right now is because of a product I was sent to review.

When Misikko sent me a blow dryer to review this week, I was ecstatic. I already own one of the company's gorgeous pink flat irons. It has made me quite popular among my best friend and my mom, who borrow it all the time.

I was thrilled to discover the HANA Air Premiere Hair Dryer has the exact same magic.



That's a lot coming from me. My mother was a hair stylist for several years, so I have used my fair share of expensive salon blow dryers.

This one is definitely different.

My thick Indian hair usually takes about twenty minutes or more to blow dry. With the HANA Air Premiere Hair Dryer, it took TEN MINUTES. I wanted to cry with joy. Do you know how frustrating it is to hold a blow dryer to your head for half an hour, when you're running late to a job interview?! This dryer is the ultimate time-saver.

Plus, it was quiet! Every single fancy schmancy blow dryer my mom lends me sounds like I'm drying my hair in an airport. With the HANA Air dryer, I don't have to worry about waking up my boyfriend in the early hours of the morning anymore.

Plus, the dryer comes with a nifty little concentrator device which allows you to dry sections of your hair, one at a time. This will be very useful when styling, trust me.

Oh, and I accidentally discovered the blow dryer is very durable. Good news for me, since I'm not the most graceful girl in the world. Haha.

When researching the HANA Air Premiere Hair Dryer afterwards, I was surprised to discover some bonuses I didn't even know existed when I used it.

For instance, the Italian-inspired design includes ion technology, which conditions hair and reduces static electricity. (Lord knows I need that).

It also has low EMF, meaning it is environmentally friendly for a blow dryer. Not bad, huh?

Keep in mind, the blow dryer is not cheap. But for a salon hair tool, it is actually moderately priced. As a hair stylist, my mom used blow dryers ranging from $400 to $100. This product fits nicely in the middle.

For me, a good hair dryer is worth the money. I'm very serious.

I take pride in my long, shiny locks. I am obsessed with keeping my hair healthy, because I want it to remain beautiful when I'm a little old grandmother.

Cheap drugstore hair dryers do not cut it for me. They are not powerful enough and they make my hair feel like straw afterwards. I don't even want to think about the heat damage they have caused my precious locks. It makes me shudder.

The HANA Air Premiere Hair Dryer is worth it. Plus, it's on sale right now!

Check out the Misikko site if you're on the market for a fabulous flat iron as well. You won't be disappointed!

The Legend of Cat Woman

This is Jocelyn Wildenstein.



This is Jocelyn Wildenstein after plastic surgery.



You may recognize this photo of the New York Society Cat Woman, but you may not know her story. I found it incredibly sad.

Jocelyn was a middle-class girl in Switzerland when she met and married billionaire art collector, Alec Wildenstein. She was completely in love with him.

When his eyes began to wander after several years of marriage, Jocelyn grew jealous and became panicked.

Almost 50 and already insecure about her fading beauty, Jocelyn visited a plastic surgeon to enhance her looks. It worked! Her husband was thrilled with the results and for a while, it seemed like her marriage was finally back on its feet.

But to her dismay, she found out her husband was still eyeing younger and prettier women. Out of desperation, she made a decision that would change her life forever and haunt the entire world.



Jocelyn realized that her husband, Alec, loved his jungle estate and the cats that inhabited it, more than anything else in life. He was so enamoured with lions, he had paintings of them all over the house.

With this information, she went to her plastic surgeon and told him: transform me into a giant cat. She thought if she looked like one of the lions her husband loved so much, he would love her again. The plastic surgeon (probably after realizing how much money was involved) complied with her crazy scheme.

She received seven face lifts and drastic eye reconstruction surgery and received collagen injections to her lips, cheeks and chin. It cost millions of dollars.

The first time Alec saw his newly sculpted wife, he screamed in terror and didn't recognize her. Jocelyn was heartbroken and dismayed.

Her plastic surgeon also lost a significant number of clients, including many who fled his waiting room in horror when Jocelyn would stop by for her after-surgery check-ups.



Jocelyn and Alec, who have two children, ended up getting divorced in 1999 when Jocelyn accidentally stumbled upon her husband in bed with a 19-year-old model.

Oddly enough, even though her tragic face has become a symbol for the dangers of plastic surgery, the socialite grew to be content with her look. She often appears at red carpet events and loves the spotlight. She laughs off her famous nickname, Cat Woman.

The 65-year-old has even found a handsome younger boyfriend who doesn't seem to care about her mutilated face.



While I am absolutely horrified with her transformation, I am kind of awed that Jocelyn has such rockin' self-esteem. If I looked like a jungle freak show, I would retreat into my mansion, tail between my legs (haha). I would never be able to face anyone again.

Well, rumor has it that Jocelyn has reversed most of her surgeries within the past year. In fact, dozens of tabloids ran this photo a few months ago, claiming it was the famed socialite.



I have absolutely no idea if this news is true or if that photo is her, but I sincerely hope so. Because if that is the case, Jocelyn now looks rather pretty and way more normal. But who knows...


What are your thoughts on plastic surgery? Does it scare you or tempt you?

April Fool's Day Fail

Yesterday morning, I totally forgot it was April Fool's Day.

I'm kind of pissed off because I had an entire joke post conceptualized, but I didn't have a computer, or the time, to put it all together.

I was going to make a post revealing that I am, in fact, a 48-year-old man named Frank who still lives with his parents. I was going to tell you that I was living behind a curtain of deception and shame. I was going to claim that I had always wanted to be a 20-something-year-old girl and this blog was my hand into that world.

I was even going to post photos of a man like this one and claim it was me.



I was even willing to take it one step further and change my blog's name to Frank Fabulous for the day.

But I didn't. Sigh.

It probably would have failed anyway. A lot of you are friends with me on Facebook and know I'm not Frank. Shit, some of you have even MET me so you clearly would have known it was a prank. So, yeah it wouldn't have totally worked.

Ah well.

By the time I realized it was April Fool's Day, it was already well into the afternoon. After a couple bottles of happy juice, Kerrie and I decided to put ourselves in a relationship together on facebook. We thought it was hysterical. Unfortunately, nobody else did.

Nobody commented or even noticed. I'm not sure what's worse, the fact that everyone either knew it was a joke and didn't care, or that maybe everyone already assumed we were lesbian lovers and they were simply surprised we took so long to make it official. Who knows.

Fail. Fail. Fail.

Don't be disappointed though. I'll get you next year!

Muwhahahahaha!! (Evil laughter)

Shit. I'm a dork. Sorry.

Boyfriend in a Box

Some of you may have heard about a new company that is creating fake girlfriends for guys.



In exchange for money, Cloud Girlfriend will create a fake girlfriend for a guy, on the social networking site of his choice, so he can look more attractive to females.

The fake girlfriend will write cute, witty comments on his facebook wall and post photos, to make it seem like a real relationship.

Sounds terrible, right?

Well, I have to confess...

I paid for a fake relationship myself 15 years ago.

When I was in sixth grade, I bought Boyfriend in a Box. Here is my story.

When I was 11 years old, my parents wouldn't let me date. At the time, this was very distressing to me. It seemed all the popular girls in my school had boyfriends. I was terribly jealous and felt left out.

One day I was shopping at Afterthoughts in our local mall and I stumbled upon a goldmine: Boyfriend in a Box.


(Not the actual one I bought)

For only $10, I could buy my very own boyfriend! The kit came with a photo of a blonde teenage boy with a cheesy grin and a card giving his "statistics."

It also came with a letter which stated this:

Hey special girl!
I feel so lucky to have a wonderful person like you in my life. I'm looking forward to spending a lot of time with you. I enjoy long walks in the park and eating chocolate ice cream.
Yours,
Chad

As soon as I got home with my new fake boyfriend, I immediately memorized all his stats. Chad was 16, he was 5'10", he had ash blonde hair, and he had green eyes. His was on the varsity boys basketball team and enjoyed surfing. When he wasn't busy being the most popular boy in school or getting straight A's, he enjoyed writing romantic poetry and playing the guitar.

As soon as I met my friends at school the next day, I made my announcement: "I have a boyfriend!" I proudly handed them the photo of Chad, who was looking charming in a neon green shirt and acid wash jeans. "We met last night at the mall!"

Their mouths dropped open. I told them all his statistics as casually as I could. I could see envy on every single girl's face. I'm not gonna lie, it felt good.

Soon, everyone was talking about my new relationship. I was instantly cool, having a high school boyfriend, rather than one of the scrawny 11-year-olds my friends were dating.

At lunch, I was plagued with questions about Chad and they all wanted to meet him. Unfortunately, Chad was conveniently flying to Australia that night for a surfing competition, I made up. Lying was such fun!

But soon it became apparent that Chad was causing a barrier between my best friend, Megan, and I. She admitted she was insanely jealous that I had a high school boyfriend now and her crush, Dan, from our math class wouldn't even look at her. She even started crying. I felt awful.



So, that evening I went back to Afterthoughts and bought her a boyfriend. I couldn't very well give her Chad, so instead, I purchased the African American version, Tyrone.

The next day at school, I gave Megan the photo of Tyrone and said he was Chad's best friend who had a huge crush on her. He wanted to be her boyfriend! I gave her all of his stats (varsity football team, sings in choir, loves dogs). Megan was thrilled! She was so happy! I managed to keep the charade going for a week, until I discovered something awful.

Dan, the math class cutie, had asked Megan to the sixth grade formal, and Megan had TURNED HIM DOWN. She wanted to take Tyrone! Horrified, I knew what I had to do.

I immediately went over to Megan's house and confessed everything. I told her about Boyfriend in a Box. I apologized profusely. I cried. She forgave me, but it changed things. Our friendship never fully recovered and I moved to Nebraska six months later. I never saw or heard from her again.

Well, one week ago I found Megan on Facebook. She accepted my friend request!

Excitedly, I wrote on her wall, "I was just thinking about you the other day and all the memories we shared from middle school! Remember that time I gave you a fake boyfriend? Hahaha!"

She has been on Facebook since but never responded. I guess time doesn't heal ALL wounds...

Anyway.

Moral of the story: Paying for a fake boyfriend at 11-years-old is funny. Paying for a fake girlfriend as a grown man is creepy.