My life is falling apart.
I’m thousands of dollars in debt because of my car.
I’m fat.
I work long hours for little pay at a thankless job.
And now I can add gingivitis to my list.
And it’s not even my fault. That’s what kills me.
You see, it turns out I have a shitty dentist (or used to, I’m totally switching).
For years, I’ve been seeing this Tom Cruise look-alike. He never really paid much attention to my teeth. For years, I had been telling him about a clear, hard substance on my teeth, near my gums, that just wouldn’t come off with any amount of brushing/flossing. He acted like it was nothing. And I let him do that because I was always blinded by his sexy Jerry Maguire grin.
Out of curiosity, I went to a periodontist a couple weeks ago to see if he could tell me what was wrong. And after one appointment, this doctor (who looks like Richard Nixon) already knew the problem. It turns out that I still had glue from my braces stuck to a few of my teeth, near the gum line. Nixon was shocked my dentist hadn’t caught it after all these years. (I had my braces taken off in 2001).
And Nixon is nice (he calls me “Tooty Fruity”...although he has never offered an explanation why). He seems a lot more concerned about my well being than Tom ever did.
So today I went in for my big appointment—the process of getting the glue taken off my teeth. It required the staff to numb my lips with a strange lotion and then numb my gums with a needle injection. Even after all the numbing, it still hurt like hell.
After the operation, my whole face felt swollen and I could not talk. (Nixon: “How are you feeling, Tooty Fruity?” Me: “Gurggggh” Nixon: “That’s great!”)
I went into the bathroom to fix my makeup and view the damage. I looked into the mirror and gasped.
I looked like Angelina Jolie! It was a miracle!
I quickly rushed back to the periodontist office and waved down Nixon’s assistant.
“Gurgg gugg gugg grgggg gug grggg? Gug grgggg!” (“What did you use on my lips? It’s fabulous!”). She stared at me blankly. I continued, “Gugg grrrg?” (“Do you sell it?”). She figured out what I was saying and scowled. “That numbing solution is for medical purposes only. It will wear off in two to three hours. It is NOT for sale,” she said.
Disappointed, I left.
I spent the next 30 minutes sitting in my car, staring at myself in the mirror, making pouty faces and lavishing in my Muppet mouth glory.
When I got to work, one the advertising executives rushed to my side.
“You look like Angelina Jolie!” she squealed, further cementing the fact I needed to get my hands on more numbing solution.
“What lip plumper do you use?” she asked.
I gurgled the reason for my Jolie smackers.
“You should totally see if you can purchase that stuff over the counter,” she told me.
I rolled my eyes. “Gah gugrl, grr?” (“I know, right?”).
After an hour my lips started to deflate.
And then I became Jennifer again.
I already have a follow-up appointment scheduled. Nixon said the glue gave me a bout of gingivitis but after a few weeks, I should be back to normal. Yay! And maybe I can get my hands on more numbing solution….
I wouldn’t be able to talk any more if I used it on a regular basis, but that doesn’t matter because I would be so fab, I wouldn’t have to.
Wish me luck!
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Back from Hollywood
I just got back from LA. My parents had to go there for a few days because my dad (a medical physicist) had a conference to attend. I tagged along because I refused to be left behind while they splashed around on the beach.
I decided to write about my trip journal-style. Enjoy!
Friday
Right before my trip, I decided to screw myself over. Well, I didn't know I was going to do that at the time. You see, after my credit card company charged me a $200 late fee (even though I mailed my check two weeks in advance) I decided to cancel my card and open a new credit card with my bank, an hour before my parents and I had to be at the airport. As soon as I cancelled my card and opened a new one, my banker cheerfully said, "Well, your new card with us won't start until one week from now and it looks like you have no money right now in your checking account. I hope your parents can spot you some money for the next week!"
Oh. Fuck.
So basically, I entered right into this trip with absolutely no money to my name. It was horrifying. I can't believe I just cancelled my card. I thought the new one would start right away!
I cried the entire way to the airport.
As soon as we got to the airport, my mom and I spotted this gorgeous guy waiting for the same plane. He kept staring at me. I was very flattered. He sat next to me on the plane and told me he loved my dress and that I had beautiful hair. And then he reached into his man purse and took out a Glamour magazine. Gay. So gay. I was crushed. (I had thought I had sex appeal again.)
As soon as we got to our hotel in LA, my mom and I drank a round of mai tais. I don't remember the rest of that night.
Saturday
My parents and I headed over to Hollywood where we visited the Hollywood history museum (movie star artifacts and whatnot) and did a little shopping. I ransacked H&M and after throwing a teenage-style hissy fit persuaded my dad to buy me a couple of shirts. I was NOT going to leave that store empty-handed.
I cheered up after I spotted Michael Jackson's Hollywood star. After pushing a few kids out of the way, I managed to get a photo with it.
We then headed over to the Santa Monica Pier. The only reason we went there was because it is featured in the opening credits of our favorite show "Three's Company." (I am not kidding. But wish I were). Unfortunately, the pier looks a tad different than it used to in 1978. But we managed to find the same exact carousel, which made the trip worth it.
I think my dad did a swell Don Knotts impersonation.
Sunday
This was the best day because I got to meet up with my awesome blogger friend Morena in a neighboring town. You might know her from her blog, Too Haute to Handle. It was the first time I had ever met an online friend before. Morena is just as beautiful and sweet in person as she is on her blog. We had lunch at a little French cafe with her equally sweet and fabulous friend Avalon. It was a lovely time and definitely the highlight of my trip!
Afterward, my dad dropped my mom and I off at a shopping center while he went to his boring physics workshops. My mom graciously bought me a dress and two shirts during this little boutique extravaganza. Although, it did break my heart to touch and admire all the other gorgeous dresses I wanted to buy. Oh, it was torture.
I drowned my sorrows in white wine at the hotel bar that night.
Monday
Again, my dad was stuck in physicists hell, so my mom and I headed over to a movie theater by our hotel and saw "The Ugly Truth." It was hilarious.
The evening was spent going to all the 98 cent stores in town, because apparently my mom thinks these stores are more of a bargain than our dollar stores back home. I did find this 98 cent version of Barbie. I think they could have chosen a better outfit for 98 cent Ken though.
We also went to Huntington Beach that night, but it was freezing, so we left.
As soon as we got back, my mom and I hit up the hotel bar again. This time we got shnockered on Long Island Iced Teas.
Tuesday
Pretty much just the plane ride home. But my dad had a bunch of drink coupons he found that were going to expire soon. So my mom and I got drunk on gin and tonics during the flight. I ended up getting into a fight with the ten-year-old girls sitting behind me on who was the cutest Jonas brother. I kept insisting it was Justin but they kept insisting none of those boys were named Justin. After we got off the flight my dad informed me that there indeed was no Justin in the Jonas Brothers and I had been thinking of 'N Sync...
Anyway, that was my trip.
I'm exhausted.
Friday, July 24, 2009
Going to Hollywood!
I am going to Los Angeles from Friday until Tuesday, so I won't be blogging until I get back. I will be enjoying the beach instead! Yay!
Here are a few outfits I wore this week. Let me know what you think!
Anthropologie shirt, Express skirt, vintage Louis Vuitton purse
Forever 21 dress, Ralph Lauren sandals
Anthropologie dress, little vintage jacket from antique store, Gianni Bini sandals
Also, I received this fab Kreativ Blogger award from Jane St. Clair over at Little Violet Dress. If you want to be awesome, you should check out her blog.
Thank you so much, Jane. That was really sweet of you.
To go along with the award, the winner must list seven interesting things about herself.
So, here I go!
1. I have seen the world's largest pencil, the world's largest cuckoo clock, and the world's smallest horse
2. My inspiration to become a journalist was April O'Neil from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
3. I have NEVER been out of the country (United States)
4. My right foot is one size bigger than my left
5. Every time I hear about a disease, I'm one hundred percent sure I have it
6. I subscribe to Archaeology Magazine (among all my fashion favorites)
7. My biggest fear is ending up alone
I am passing this award on to the following seven blogs:
We Were Damsels
Too Haute To Handle
Planet Plum
Tia Cherie
HiFashion
Couture Carrie
Tic Tac Tomato
Here are a few outfits I wore this week. Let me know what you think!
Anthropologie shirt, Express skirt, vintage Louis Vuitton purse
Forever 21 dress, Ralph Lauren sandals
Anthropologie dress, little vintage jacket from antique store, Gianni Bini sandals
Also, I received this fab Kreativ Blogger award from Jane St. Clair over at Little Violet Dress. If you want to be awesome, you should check out her blog.
Thank you so much, Jane. That was really sweet of you.
To go along with the award, the winner must list seven interesting things about herself.
So, here I go!
1. I have seen the world's largest pencil, the world's largest cuckoo clock, and the world's smallest horse
2. My inspiration to become a journalist was April O'Neil from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
3. I have NEVER been out of the country (United States)
4. My right foot is one size bigger than my left
5. Every time I hear about a disease, I'm one hundred percent sure I have it
6. I subscribe to Archaeology Magazine (among all my fashion favorites)
7. My biggest fear is ending up alone
I am passing this award on to the following seven blogs:
We Were Damsels
Too Haute To Handle
Planet Plum
Tia Cherie
HiFashion
Couture Carrie
Tic Tac Tomato
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
My style!
Couture Carrie recently passed this blog award (below) along to her Fellow Fashionistas, which included me! For a while, bloggers like CC have been inspiring me to put more fashion into my blog. I feel sad that while I share my life with you guys, I do not tend to share my style that much. So from now on, I'm going to try harder to do that!
Thank you so much CC for the fab award! :)
The award comes with a list. Enjoy!
Ten things that make my style unique:
1. Like roses, I thrive in the sun. Summer to me is wearing bright, colorful sundresses or a simple flowing white one.
2. My hair!
I chopped it off a year ago and it has since grown back. I am so grateful. I didn't feel like myself when it was gone and that scared me. Long hair is a part of who I am.
3. My strange preference for giant sunglasses.
4. I am not ashamed to cross-dress. I wore this outfit (my dad's tie and pair of boys trousers) to work one day and my conservative 60-year-old male editor loved it so much, he brought me a bagful of his old ties the very next day. Hehe.
5. My nose ring. It is such a common piercing, but I get asked about it all the time. And it inspired three friends to follow in my footsteps. :)
6. Wacky hats inspire me!
7. My obsession with Etro. It allows me to wear the most bizarre outfits and get away with it. (Kerrie and I are going to do a blog post about our Etro collections next month on our fashion blog.)
8. I gain twins. If you stick around with me long enough, you will start to dress like me. My cousin Stephanie bought this exact same dress from Urban Outfitters after she saw me wearing it a few months before. So obviously we had to wear them together!
9. I can sniff a bargain a mile away.
My mom made this skirt with fabric I bought for $1. The shirt was $3 on clearance at J.C. Penney. The hat was stolen (I mean, er, borrowed) from an ex-boyfriend.
I bought this dress from Target for $5 on clearance. Yay!
10. YOU! Every day your blogs inspire me. I am constantly discovering new styles I love (or hate! LOL) and finding ways of making that look my own. Thank you! XOXO
I am passing this award to all my followers and would love you to post 10 things that make your style unique!
Thank you so much CC for the fab award! :)
The award comes with a list. Enjoy!
Ten things that make my style unique:
1. Like roses, I thrive in the sun. Summer to me is wearing bright, colorful sundresses or a simple flowing white one.
2. My hair!
I chopped it off a year ago and it has since grown back. I am so grateful. I didn't feel like myself when it was gone and that scared me. Long hair is a part of who I am.
3. My strange preference for giant sunglasses.
4. I am not ashamed to cross-dress. I wore this outfit (my dad's tie and pair of boys trousers) to work one day and my conservative 60-year-old male editor loved it so much, he brought me a bagful of his old ties the very next day. Hehe.
5. My nose ring. It is such a common piercing, but I get asked about it all the time. And it inspired three friends to follow in my footsteps. :)
6. Wacky hats inspire me!
7. My obsession with Etro. It allows me to wear the most bizarre outfits and get away with it. (Kerrie and I are going to do a blog post about our Etro collections next month on our fashion blog.)
8. I gain twins. If you stick around with me long enough, you will start to dress like me. My cousin Stephanie bought this exact same dress from Urban Outfitters after she saw me wearing it a few months before. So obviously we had to wear them together!
9. I can sniff a bargain a mile away.
My mom made this skirt with fabric I bought for $1. The shirt was $3 on clearance at J.C. Penney. The hat was stolen (I mean, er, borrowed) from an ex-boyfriend.
I bought this dress from Target for $5 on clearance. Yay!
10. YOU! Every day your blogs inspire me. I am constantly discovering new styles I love (or hate! LOL) and finding ways of making that look my own. Thank you! XOXO
I am passing this award to all my followers and would love you to post 10 things that make your style unique!
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Flower Power
I had a pretty good weekend.
Rian and I had an all-American date Saturday night. Because of our financial problems, it is the first "real" date we have been on in a very long time. We went mini-golfing and then to a drive-in gangster movie. We stuffed ourselves with french fries, M&Ms, Coca-Cola, and popcorn. I woke up this morning with a sugar-induced hangover. Haha.
Today, my parents and I took a little road trip to a beautiful giant garden located on the outskirts of town. We go to this place once every other year. It is always so gorgeous and peaceful and relaxing. There is also a little chapel out there which I have fantasized about getting married in for years...
I took some pictures:
And when I got home, I was delighted to be given a long-stemmed rose. I didn't have a vase so I put it in a champagne bottle.
It sits among my collection.
I hope everyone else had an enjoyable weekend as well.
Friday, July 17, 2009
My quarter-life crisis
I have been doing a lot of reading and researching and have come to the conclusion that my recent unhappiness may not be as strange as I have taken it to be.
I think I am going through a quarter-life crisis. You can read more about it here. It basically sums up everything I am feeling.
For instance, those going through a quarter-life crisis (ages 20-30) may experience the following:
-financially-rooted stress (overwhelming college loans, unanticipatedly high cost of living, etc.)
-disappointment with one's job
-insecurity concerning long-term plans, life goals
-re-evaluation of close interpersonal relationships
-a sense that everyone is, somehow, doing better than you
-an urge to find happiness in material things, therefore spending too much money on items such as expensive cars, phones, CLOTHES, SHOES, and technology
Sound familiar?
My personal situation is that I feel like I lost the first half of my twenties. I didn't party in college. Instead, I focused on graduating with honors (which I did), becoming the features editor of the school newspaper (which I did), and having as many internships with prestigious news companies as I could (which I did).
Once I graduated college, I was immediately offered a reporting position at my newspaper (which has more than ONE MILLION readers). I lived and breathed my career. I'm shocked I even managed to snag a couple serious boyfriends during this time period.
And now I'm restless in my job and I am longing to be wild and do something crazy while I'm young and childless. I am in the position were I can be selfish.
I don't want to drown myself in unhappiness by worrying about my future all the time. Especially since I don't know where I'm headed in life.
I have compiled a list of five things I want to do before I'm 30. I have five years and that scares me.
Here they are:
Write a book
Visit India (my dad's birth place)
Learn how to belly dance
Meet Morrissey
Get my Masters in...something
What do you think? What are some things you want to do in the next five years?
I think I am going through a quarter-life crisis. You can read more about it here. It basically sums up everything I am feeling.
For instance, those going through a quarter-life crisis (ages 20-30) may experience the following:
-financially-rooted stress (overwhelming college loans, unanticipatedly high cost of living, etc.)
-disappointment with one's job
-insecurity concerning long-term plans, life goals
-re-evaluation of close interpersonal relationships
-a sense that everyone is, somehow, doing better than you
-an urge to find happiness in material things, therefore spending too much money on items such as expensive cars, phones, CLOTHES, SHOES, and technology
Sound familiar?
My personal situation is that I feel like I lost the first half of my twenties. I didn't party in college. Instead, I focused on graduating with honors (which I did), becoming the features editor of the school newspaper (which I did), and having as many internships with prestigious news companies as I could (which I did).
Once I graduated college, I was immediately offered a reporting position at my newspaper (which has more than ONE MILLION readers). I lived and breathed my career. I'm shocked I even managed to snag a couple serious boyfriends during this time period.
And now I'm restless in my job and I am longing to be wild and do something crazy while I'm young and childless. I am in the position were I can be selfish.
I don't want to drown myself in unhappiness by worrying about my future all the time. Especially since I don't know where I'm headed in life.
I have compiled a list of five things I want to do before I'm 30. I have five years and that scares me.
Here they are:
Write a book
Visit India (my dad's birth place)
Learn how to belly dance
Meet Morrissey
Get my Masters in...something
What do you think? What are some things you want to do in the next five years?
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Shameless plug
My best friend and I started a fashion blog a couple months ago.
We had to slow down the process for a bit because Kerrie was crazy busy with school, but now it looks like things have finally calmed down. We're going to be posting regularly from now on.
I have posted some pictures of how awesome we are:
I hope you will check out our blog. You can find it here.
Enjoy! ;)
We had to slow down the process for a bit because Kerrie was crazy busy with school, but now it looks like things have finally calmed down. We're going to be posting regularly from now on.
I have posted some pictures of how awesome we are:
I hope you will check out our blog. You can find it here.
Enjoy! ;)
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Good news (for me) and giveaway info!
My boyfriend finally has a job!
After being unemployed for six months after graduating from college, Rian finally got a job at my mom's company. He will basically be sitting in front of a computer all day, but hey, he'll be making more money than me! I'm so relieved. The past six months have been financially horrid for me (and that's in addition to my sporadic designer shopping sprees). So it is a huge relief that he is going to be making good money. I can finally sit back and relax for a while.
It is kind of weird that he'll be working with my mom...but whatever. Hahaha.
I also wanted to let you know about some giveaways I have recently discovered:
Jane from Little Violet Dress is giving one lucky reader a sash she made. It is beautiful and I really hope you check out Jane's blog because she is lovely!
Savvy Mode is giving away a gorgeous black and white clutch. This is a really cool fashion blog that keeps me up to speed on designer items out there.
Robin from Threadbear Thoughts is giving away a fun (and adorable) pineapple necklace. She showcases cheap fashion finds on her blog, which I think is pretty much a lifesaver for us all right now.
We Were Damsels is giving away a stunning suede skirt to a lucky reader. These girls have unique and downright awesome fashion sense, so definitely check out their blog.
HiFashion is giving away a gorgeous Moyna handbag. This blog is super cute and a fun read.
If I left anyone out, I apologize immensely.
Good luck to everyone who enters. (And wish me luck too! LOL).
After being unemployed for six months after graduating from college, Rian finally got a job at my mom's company. He will basically be sitting in front of a computer all day, but hey, he'll be making more money than me! I'm so relieved. The past six months have been financially horrid for me (and that's in addition to my sporadic designer shopping sprees). So it is a huge relief that he is going to be making good money. I can finally sit back and relax for a while.
It is kind of weird that he'll be working with my mom...but whatever. Hahaha.
I also wanted to let you know about some giveaways I have recently discovered:
Jane from Little Violet Dress is giving one lucky reader a sash she made. It is beautiful and I really hope you check out Jane's blog because she is lovely!
Savvy Mode is giving away a gorgeous black and white clutch. This is a really cool fashion blog that keeps me up to speed on designer items out there.
Robin from Threadbear Thoughts is giving away a fun (and adorable) pineapple necklace. She showcases cheap fashion finds on her blog, which I think is pretty much a lifesaver for us all right now.
We Were Damsels is giving away a stunning suede skirt to a lucky reader. These girls have unique and downright awesome fashion sense, so definitely check out their blog.
HiFashion is giving away a gorgeous Moyna handbag. This blog is super cute and a fun read.
If I left anyone out, I apologize immensely.
Good luck to everyone who enters. (And wish me luck too! LOL).
Saturday, July 11, 2009
He's got rhythm!
My best friend Jonny is a singer.
(Well, in addition to being a boutique manager, Jewish scholar, pianist, model, and journalist).
I have had the privilege to watch him perform Barbra songs for years. He will usually break into song and dance in the car, during a television show, or while we eat dinner. My favorite nights with him have been spent in his apartment while he serenades me with little mini-concerts. He has a beautiful voice and has a sassy stage presence, so it's always extremely entertaining.
His music has been played all over our local radio stations. He performed in professional musical theater (with celebrities!) as a kid. He is a star in the making.
After graduating college in May, Jonny has taken the year off to relax and help take care of his grandmother in Dallas. So I have missed him terribly. But fortunately, I have his music right on the Internet to comfort me when I'm sad.
He is currently in the process of recording and releasing a CD.
You can find his music here.
I could sit back with a cup of tea and listen to him croon Moon River all day.
Enjoy! ;)
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Betsey Johnson shopping spree!
Our Betsey Johnson boutique recently had a sale.
And I went nuts.
It was buy one get one free, so I ended up buying two dresses and two purses.
I'm not quite sure how I'm going to pay next month's rent now, but fortunately my mind isn't programmed to be alarmed about that until the day before rent is due.
I am in love with Betsey Johnson's designs and have always longed to own one of her dresses. I cannot believe I am now the owner of TWO.
I picked this whimsical floral dress because I thought the bright colors complimented my skin tone. I can imagine wearing this dress to a picnic in the park or out shopping.
I fell in love with this little black party dress the moment I laid eyes on it. It is so much fun and so sexy and so cute. I can imagine dancing in this dress at wedding receptions, showing it off while I sit demurely at wine bars, or just wearing it out grocery shopping!
I love vintage hat boxes. So when I came across this pink summery round purse, I knew it was meant to be mine. I matched it here with my new Ralph Lauren sun dress.
My fourth purchase. A fab, caj bag.
And to top the night off, I took some random pictures with my boyfriend, Rian.