I am a mother!

I am now a mother…

…of two baby bunnies!

Last night, when I was eating dinner at my parents’ house, I received a phone call from a man named Jason.

“You have to help me,” he said, breathlessly. “I have a rabbit emergency.”

I stared into space for a few seconds with a strained expression. What did he say? And why the hell is he calling me?

“I remembered you mentioned in class once that you are a rabbit expert,” he continued. “You’re the only one who can save these rabbits!”

And then a dawning of understanding arose in me and I froze.

Oh. Shit.

You see, five years ago when I was a young, wide-eyed college sophomore, I kind of fibbed. We were in Media Writing Class and for some reason, the professor made us go around the room and state something incredibly interesting about ourselves. I didn’t have the Jimmy Choo sandals yet, so I didn’t have anything fab to say. So for some reason, I blurted out that I was a rabbit expert. I might have also mentioned that the federal wildlife foundation had contacted me on emergency cases in the past. Everyone was so impressed, I just kept going on.

I didn’t expect them to remember my tale FIVE YEARS LATER.

So I feebly told Jason I would be at his house right away. My dad (who thought the story was HILARIOUS and who thankfully swore not to say anything to contradict my supposed expertise) drove me there. We arrived at Jason’s house and he explained the situation. Apparently there are two baby rabbits. They were born yesterday. A cat ate their brothers and sisters and their mom. He showed me the box. When I looked inside, a wave of relief swept over me.

“These aren’t rabbits, these are baby mice,” I told him, looking at the small black balls nestling in the box.

He looked at his wife and they both looked at me. No, they said, these are baby rabbits.

I laughed and said “of course, I was just testing you.”

And then their four-year-old son came in the room and looked at me, wide-eyed. “Are you going to save the bunnies?” he asked me.

My heart melted. “Yes, I’m going to save them,” I said, confidently. He cheered. Emotions ran through me. I felt like I was in a Jimmy Stewart movie.

So on the way back to my parents’ house, rabbits in tow, I frantically called PetSmart. “What the fuck do I do?” I kept asking the salesman. He calmed me down and explained all I could do was feed the babies goat milk twice a day and keep them warm. “They may live, or they might not,” he warned me. “So don’t get too attached right now.”

So I didn’t name them.

But it’s too late. I’m already attached. And while Rian and I were feeding them at home this morning, a strange sensation took over me. And then I realized it was a maternal feeling.

I am a mother!