Thursday, February 4, 2010

Cabin Fever

A lot of you have been asking how I am lately. It makes me smile to know I have such wonderful blogging buddies.

The truth is, I am okay. I am not happy but I am also not bawling my eyes out every five minutes like before.

I am getting used to being unemployed and doing absolutely nothing except sitting in my apartment, applying for jobs online and waiting for Rian to get home.

It has been a strange experience.

In fact, being at home all day and all night has been a bit like Rear Window.

Stuff I have done since being unemployed:

1. I accidentally called the police on my apartment building's groundskeeper. How was I to know the man walking around the building three times a day was a legitimate employee?!

2. I discovered the little Mexican boy who lives across from me apparently thinks I'm a serial killer. Every time I come upstairs after taking out the trash, he opens his door to look at me. When we make eye contact, he screams and slams the door shut.

3. The person who lives in the apartment next to me NEVER comes out. But I know the person is still alive because I hear their shower go off every single day at around 4 p.m.

4. I am almost fairly certain that the attractive 30-something-year-old blonde woman who lives diagonal to me is having an affair. Because every week day, her husband leaves for work and one or two hours later, a rough looking Italian man drops by and leaves right before her husband gets back.

5. Oh, and the 20-something-year-old pot head who lives beneath me is a complete loser and yet is completely irresistible to women somehow. He plays video games all day. And yet three times I have seen three different girls sitting outside his apartment door, crying, begging to be let inside. "I love you," a pretty brunette sobbed on Monday afternoon. "Oh my god I want to DIE! I LOVE YOU!" What. The. Fuck.

6. Living with a male canary is like living with a screaming baby, if not worse. They don't sing, they scream very high-pitched. I had to put my canary, Moses, in a closet for an hour just so I could gather my thoughts. (Note: I would not do that to a baby).

7. When I get really bored, I take a shower. Last Wednesday, I took five showers in one day.

8. I discovered five items of expensive clothing in my closet that I totally forgot about and never wore.

9. Thanks to Facebook and two hours of boredom, I now know everything I need to know about my ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Tiffany LOVES purely decadent coconut milk vanilla bean ice cream and "listening to some Fergilicious with my gal pals!!!". Bitch.

10. I think Miss Fine from The Nanny might be my soul mate.

Don't worry, the past couple weeks haven't been TOO miserable for me! My bff Jonny came to visit me this weekend from Dallas! He always keeps it real. He's never afraid to tell me when I need to get my brows plucked or if its time to drop a few pounds. Haha.

On Friday, I approached Jonny outside my apartment complex, wearing my pink satin pajamas and vintage fur coat and over sized sunglasses. He looked genuinely appalled.

"This is all very Ab Fab," he said, waving his finger at my ensemble. "But this has GOT to stop. Like, right now."

Hahaha! Don't you love him?

Did I stop? No, of course not! I'm wearing the damn coat with pajamas as I type this blog!

Here is a cute photo of us:



Thanks for reading my blog! I hope you all have a fantastic weekend! xoxo

84 comments:

  1. Jennifer,

    You always make me laugh with your random, yet interesting experiences.

    I almost laughed out loud at the library when I was reading the point about the lady cheating on her husband and the little bird grounded in the closet.

    I wonder where you met your friend Johnny...

    I am glad you have found a variety of things to do with your time lol.

    Con aprecio,
    Aquiles

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  2. Hmm. You're turning into the neighbour who knows everyone's business, I thought you had to be at least seventy before that happened. Maybe it's time to get out more. But leave the pink jammies at home. lol

    Great pic of you and Jonny. You look gorgeous Jen, really! ♥♥

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  3. Great post, thanks for the much-needed laugh! You couldn't make this stuff up!:-)

    http://idlefascination.blogspot.com/

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  4. I kind of felt melancholic while reaidng this post! Maybe it conjured u some old memories in me. Nevertheless, very well written! Totally following you!

    Hope you enjoy each day! :)

    xoxo

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  5. Haha, this is a great post. I like the writing a lot. Keep it up!

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  6. I am glad you are doing well....before I had kiddies {When I had more time to get bored lol} I would shower EXTRA EXTRA long ;)

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  7. Hahaha! You are a neighbor stalker now. You know everything that's going on around you.

    I love the photo of you and your BFF. Great to have real friends right? Take care always Jen!!!

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  8. Oh my god, being unemployed is WAY more interesting than going to the same boring job every day. Who wants to find a job when it would be so much more interesting to find out how your neighbors' sordid lives turn out!

    Glad you are doing better. Your friend from Dallas sounds like someone I would want to know, also!

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  9. Just discovered your blog, and this post made me laugh! Sorry about your 'no job', but believe me, the economy is one bad bully who keeps slapping us all around and taking our lunch money! I'm ready to fight back!

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  10. omg.. #'s 5,7,9 are my absolute favorite!!! I LOVE THIS!! and, i love because i can TOTALLY RELATE!! ahahhaha. Esp. #9. LOL

    Amber
    ambersmouthwash

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  11. I love the comment about your ex boyfriends girlfriend, I stalk them even if I don't have the time.


    www.ameliais.blogspot.com

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  12. Firstly, can I live in your apartment building as well? It actually sounds quite entertaining, and at least your not watching day time tv (I did this morning and saw a jerry springer wannabe shout at a woman).

    Hope things start looking up for you soon!

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  13. Awww, well it sounds like you are somehow making the best of it all! Glad to see you haven't lost your sense of humor :) you look soo incredibly pretty in that picture with Jonny. Keep your spirits up! I hope you get a job soon!

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  14. Your writing always always always draws me in - you are so clever, witty, and fun! What crazy/funny things you have witnessed, haha! Oh and I love Rear Window - probably my favourite Hitchcock movie.

    Also you look SO beautiful in that photo Jennifer.
    xoxo
    Rachel

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  15. The same for you! Have a nice weekend!! It was a funny text!! And enjoy this time of freedom, that soon you´ll find your job and it´s going to finish... xoxo

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  16. Thank your for your comment a few days ago. Winter blues really suck! And I can't imagine having the blues and everything else that your going through along with it! Things will start to look up for you. Think of it this way (my 2 fav quotes)- "When life gives you lemons- make lemonade" and "Everything Happens for a Reason!" Make the most of this time and you'll learn so much from it.

    As for this post- I love your apartment building and what you've seen. I literally laughed which is so good on this snowy day!

    Much love and I'll be a continual reader from now on :)
    xoxo-Tiffany-http://imashoewhore.blogspot.com

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  17. I love your apartment dweller description. Almost makes me want to write about the nuts in my building!

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  18. Oh, I love Rear Window! I live in a small neighborhood so I really don't have any neighbors to watch... It can be quite boring.

    It sounds like you have had quite an interesting time watching your neighbors though!

    Wishing you all the best with everything going on. <3

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  19. J, take care of yourself. Have a great weekend and take it slow and easy. I am sure something will turn up for you. : )

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  20. Oh Jen, reading this made me remember my bff back home when she blabs something that may be nonsense to most people but very fascinating to me. you made my day, again. you know everyone in your bldg! how cool is that?! but i think if you got to know what they have for dinner, you need to go out already. but NOT with those pjs and fur coat, puhleez. =)

    xx,
    betz
    http://herarmoire.blogspot.com

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  21. Cute photo of you 2. I am glad you are doing better. Looks like lots of people watching has occurred- that's fun haha. I love the story of the possibly affair. I am so nosey!!

    Enjoy your weekend!

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  22. YAY, I'm glad you can at least find amusement with your situation. Before the hubs and I got married, I was unemployed for a bit. I know how maddening it can be. Hang in there sweets!

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  23. Although the situation could definitely be better, I really enjoyed reading this post and it totally made me laugh. Hope you start hearing back from people soon about available positions!

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  24. I love Rear Window!
    Really fun post, darling!
    Love that pic of you :)

    xoxox,
    CC

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  25. I am so laughing right now! I can't believe that little boy yells when he sees you, too funny. Also, that woman sounds like she is definitely having an affair, shame on her! Well, with the showering, at least you are very clean! ;) Glad you got to see your friend, daring picture and you always look so pretty.

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  26. You're the sweetest :)
    You look gorgeous in lace!



    xx

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  27. Love you in that lace top!

    Jen, this is the time. You need to get started on that book. Whatever it is, I'm buying it. You make me laugh. All the time. Except when you make me cry. Cause I don't laugh at your pain. That'd be mean. And wrong. And it's not even funny.
    Sorry, I'm rambling cause I have people coming over and I need to get ready but I can't seem to pull myself away.

    I'm sorry that kid screams everytime he sees you. And some losers, gosh chick magnets. I'll never get it. An hour in a closet. Oy. And 5 showers, seriously? LOL.

    Happy weekend, hon!
    xo

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  28. Jennifer it is quite clear to me now that you are living the life of an innocent bystander as a complete soap opera swirls around you - and I adore you for recanting every moment of it for us here. I have never laughed so much in my life.

    And you and Jonny? Too. Cute. For Words. :)

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  29. So I've just realized I said recanting - I meant recounting. Oopsie!

    Happy, Happy Weekend my love!! :)

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  30. YOU ARE HILARIOUS!!! and i think you are my new favorite!!!!

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  31. HAAAAA Hysterity. Numbers 5, 6 and 9 made me laugh so hard. LOL

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  32. LOL! As they say, truth is stranger than fiction. This was a great read. :-)

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  33. Your really funny and witty, but I hope things will turn around for you! ;]

    And thanks for sharing your life. Your blog has really became one of my favorites.

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  34. It's really interesting what you notice when you have nothing to do... How funny is it that the little Mexican boy thinks you're a serial killer? You're so far from that! And the pot head seems to make good impressions... I love that picture of you and Jonny! You look great! I hope you have a good weekend!

    Sophia
    http://apoetscircus.blogspot.com/

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  36. you always have the most entertaining post. i just love your personality since the moment i met your blog. I'm glad you can always find an outlet of your boredom. And oh, that woman with an affair diagonal to your apartment? Such a bitch. How could she manage both? And that checking your ex's new gf at fb? lol. it's so same here. and the new gfs of exes are always bitches. Although just shortly before I read your post, I was actually thinking if I should make friends with my ex' new wife whom I've hurt so badly in the past. I was about to, but then I paused, do I really wanna make friends? Forget about it.

    Anyway, have a wonderful weekend. I envy you for being able to write what you want for who cares? I'm so guarded, so many people from work and so many friends read my blog. I'm in my toes. xoxo

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  37. Oh that was totally hilarious, I'm sucked in now...I want to know what happens next. What a crack up with the pot head. Love is blind I guess.

    5 showers a day, here's hoping things work out real quick in the job dept.
    xoxo

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  38. Thank you for your kind comments. Have a wonderful weekend.


    -The Trendy Fashionista
    http://thetrendyfashionista.blogspot.com

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  39. haha at #5. great pic of the both of you & so nice that you're feeling better than before! :)

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  40. Oh woaah,
    what a great post, these little stories made me smile :)
    Panda xx
    Thanks so much for the sweet comment, lovely!

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  41. #4 and #5 were hillarious. You have a great way of sharing stories.

    Best regards,
    Tom Bailey

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  42. Omg! You are so hillarious! You could totally write a book about the people in your apartment and your adventures of living there..I would definately buy it!!

    Thanks for the comment! <3

    http://jennysopencloset.blogspot.com

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  43. Wow, we may be soulmates.

    And being partially unemployed isn't much better than being totally unemployed. Maybe the only difference is that you can pay your utilities.

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  44. if this is all true, damn, they have to makes a series with your building's life !

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  45. jennifer, i'm glad to hear that u're doing much better:) i just loved this post! LOL!! i also love that u find some humor in ur surroundings:D thanks again for ur comment on my blog. the DIYs were actually from teen vouge and psimadethis.com. omg, they're amazing! if only i could have half their creativity haha:) have a great weekend!

    TheOwlsCloset.blogspot.com

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  46. Wow, you have interesting neighbours! I being unemployed is tough (I was for 2 and a half monthes in the summer), but you'll find something!

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  47. nice post , i enjoyed in ur blog

    great knowing you

    naveen

    http://factsss.blogspot.com/

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  48. Jennifer, I am very sorry for my absence in the last week. I have been busy and I have not had much time for blogging and I have had a few things to deal with myself. Its good to hear that things are a bit better with you and I like this post it made me smile. I remember when I was studying for my final ever exams at school a couple of years ago I was at home all day every day for about six weeks and I found out some quite interesting things about the neighbours and people in the street. Although the things you found out are a lot more entertaining. I am amazed by number 2 and 5. Im very pleased for you that Jonny visted I remember you writing about him a couple of times before.You two sound like real friends which is amazing.

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  49. Jennifer!

    You are such a darling. I want to be your neighbor ... I would probably never leave your apartment though because we'd have tons of things to talk about all the time!

    I still see this whole job thing as so temporary. I'm channelling a very important and exciting job for you ... matter of time ... I can feel it!

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  50. AND I wish I had my own Johnny!

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  51. glad your chin is up chica, and glad my post could put a smile on your face :)

    xx

    come visit me!
    http://nineteen-candles.blogspot.com/

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  52. Sorry you've been going through such a rough time, but I know so many who currently are in the same boat and I've been there myself. This post was hilarious though.... that pot-head story is insane! And I love the pic of you and your friend!

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  53. Thanks for the coment.
    This made me laugh! Really great posttt.

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  54. Number 2 and 4 made me giggle so much, they all did - i'm glad you've got your wonderful sense of humour back darling,

    Stay safe and chic ma chérie,
    English Rose x
    http://iamanenglishrose.blogspot.com

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  55. Thanks for the good laugh!!haha. You write beatifully and cleverly.And
    you both look gorgeous in this picture!.
    Hope your day is a good one so far.
    Betty xx

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  56. I loved reading this post. It made me smile.
    And the photo is so cute!

    I am going to follow you now!

    Thanks for your comment on my blog.

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  57. Isn't unemployment so much fun?? Haha. I got an unpaid internship just to pass the time..but am still looking for the right now. Hope you enjoyed playing with Openzine.com --do you know of any other similar websites?

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  58. jennifer, i always love your posts! i totally feel you about the canary..we have a yellow nape amazon that talks LOL.. hope you're having a fabulous weekend darling!

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  59. OH PS.. isn't facebook grand? (saaarcassm). i learn too much that i rather not know when i'm bored

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  60. bahaha I love the boy screaming.

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  61. you never fail to make me laugh!

    glad to see you still have that optimistic, cheery, and hilarious attitude

    myglitteringcreation.blogspot.com

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  62. Love the dress. and you. Rough- looking Italian? nice.

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  63. thank you for dropping by my blog dear. I would love to explore more about your blog. keep it up.

    Lovely post about lady gaga!

    Always,
    Sweet
    http://pensandlens.wordpress.com

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  64. This absolutely made me laugh out loud, especially the Mexican boy who thinks you're a serial killer! You're still in my thoughts and I hope you get a job soon, but in the meanwhile, keep these stories coming!

    Sydnie
    www.takemeouttotherunway.blogspot.com

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  65. haha you're funny! love this post. and you guys look cute in that photo ;) btw thanks for your comment in my blog! xoxo

    rainbowinthegloomysky.blogspot.com

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  66. Thanks for your comment!
    I like your blog too!
    xoxo
    Festy
    http://festyinstyle.blogspot.com/

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  67. Glad you're doing better. #s 4, 5and 9 really made me laugh.

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  68. oh my god that is hilarious .. especially this about your loser pot head nieghbor .. iremember i used to date this loser guy when i was like 15. he didnt stay in the hosue all day but he was a super pot head i think he weas alos selling it .. and litearally that would be me .. one time i waited outside his house for like 3 hours in the blistering cold .. begigng to be let in .. its funny now .. those gilr s will look back and think WHAT. The. Fuck.
    just like i do .
    but on another note , at least you are trying .. maybe you can use this free time to work out at home . earyl since everyone else is out at the time .. you can work out clean the place up .. amke preetend you are a hosue wife or soemthing .

    perhaps open up an ebay vintage store .

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  69. sorry about spelling msitake s. the spell check is off .

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  70. It's amazing what you can learn about people by just observing!
    And for some reasons, potheads are always irresistable..even as I type this, I'm thinking he must be cute *sigh*

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  71. Hilarious! Have you ever thought about writing a book? You have great style.

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  72. Hilarious! Have you ever thought about writing a book? You have great style.

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  73. absolutely love your blog... you're just too funny.

    i agree with the commenter who remarked that your apartment sounds better than daytime TV.

    http://www.daniellebarbe.blogspot.com

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  74. Your awesome!! Omg I live in a condo and when I didn't have a car yet I learned a hell of alot of stuff about my neighbors. I laughed so hard about your apartment building. The pot guy?? Um seriously?? Geez. The affair lady is funny too.

    Jen I'm glad your keeping your spirits up & that your friend cheered you up!! You have pink satin pajamas?? I'm so jealous! They must be awesomness! hehe. Cute picture!!

    Just keep applying everywhere. I'm trying to do the same. It'll happen when you least expect it!! =) Big *Hugs*

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  75. You are so flipping hilarious! I LOVE this post!!!

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  76. like your top so much!!

    xoxo
    mycherrygum.blogspot.com

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  77. "1. I accidentally called the police on my apartment building's groundskeeper. How was I to know the man walking around the building three times a day was a legitimate employee?!"

    You are hilarious!
    I just found your blog and I love it!

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