Going Shopping...is a dud.

I'm sorry for the disappearing act.

Life with a decade-old laptop sucks balls. Sorry to be graphic, but it does.

Being without a computer to write, blog, or stalk my boyfriend's exes has left me kind of depressed. I sat around all day in front of the television, eating chocolate and watching old episodes of Project Runway. I also managed to sneak a movie in the morning, but it was so awful, it made me even more depressed.

Which sucks, because I had already decided to do a blog post about it. Since I don't want to write another "woe is me" post, I'm going to review the movie anyway.

I grabbed the movie, "Going Shopping" from the library because, well, wouldn't you?



It had a few good reviews on the cover. It had a cute photo. And how could any movie about shopping be...bad?

I will explain how, but here is a summary of the film first:

The film revolves around Holly G, a successful boutique owner, who discovers she will lose her store if she doesn't come up with $40,000 in one weekend for rent she owes. And why hasn't this 40-something-year-old store owner been paying her rent? Because she has a slimy old boyfriend who handles all her business and had been using her rent money to purchase her extravagant jewelry. She dumps him, of course, and has a 30% off sale that weekend to come up with the money by Monday. Oh, and that weekend she also meets a "hottie" who is like 15 years younger than her and has an equal obsession with fashion.



There are so many things wrong with this movie, I don't even know where to begin.

This is a film which came out in 2005. The internet is referenced. There are cell phones.

But all the women in the film are decked out in generic clothing that look straight out of a spring 1992 Sears catalog.

Plus, all the clothes in Holly's boutique are equally bland and boring. Silky plain blouses are $300. Dresses are $400. We're not talking about designer clothing here.

A major fault of the movie, which I found kind of insulting, was the depiction of Holly's customers. Shopaholics in the film are shown as estrogen-soaked housewives who walk into stores with high-pitched squeals and automatically start complimenting every stranger in sight on her outfit. They even help pick out each other's clothes! Am I shopping in the wrong places? Do people do this in real life?

The main character herself is excruciatingly annoying. Holly, played by Victoria Foyt, has a horrible haircut and a high-pitched voice and an obnoxious laugh.

Her suitor, Miles, is just as bad. When he first meets Holly, he's immediately taken with her "fabulous ensemble." He even asks her to twirl, he's so amazed. The 20-something-year-old breaks up with his attractive, younger girlfriend hours after becoming bewitched with Holly. The young bohemian stud woos his older crush while wearing a "Free Tibet" t-shirt and using these exact words: "Let's hook up at Starbucks around 6 p.m. and see where the night takes us." Holly, of course, finds that totally hot.



And while all this awkwardness is going on, horrible cheesy jazz music keeps playing in the background.

The lyrics to the theme song are: "I went window shopping in your eyes and found a heart in just my size."

Not kidding.

While I intensely disliked this indulgent movie, I did appreciate one factor:

It is a film which explores the female psyche in regards to shopping. The director, Henry Jaglom, shows us that shopping is more profound than people think. It gives people a sense of identity and has the ability to heal us when we're sad or make us feel better about ourselves.

I just wish it had been a lot better. With different actors. Different clothing. Different plot.

Anyway, I totally do not recommend this film. It will make you wish you had actually been going shopping instead.