Monday, August 22, 2011

I'm Hiring!

I HAVE SOME FANTASTIC NEWS! I'M NOW HIRING!

The position: my friend.


THIS COULD BE YOU!!!!!


First, let me tell you a little bit about myself.



My name is Jennifer Fabulous. I'm super cute! I'm a bookworm and film geek. I own more Chanel, Jimmy Choo, Prada, Etro, and Kate Spade than your average girl. I can get a little wild after a few drinks (i.e. jump on stage during a concert). I'm fucking awesome.


Benefits of being my friend include being tagged in facebook photos with me, listening to me bitch when I'm depressed, and enjoying alcoholic beverages with me (day or night).


This position does not pay in cash. Salary is:

-I will give you a shoulder to lean on when you're sad or depressed.
-I will always remind you of how pretty (or handsome!) and smart and fabulous you are.
-I will drop everything I am doing to help you get out of a jam.
-I will help you facebook stalk your crush, ex-boyfriend, ex-boyfriend's girlfriend, or boyfriend's ex-girlfriend.


Qualifications to be my friend:

-Must be FABULOUS!

-Must participate in a cultural lifestyle (including, but not limited to: art & history museums, ethnic restaurants, fashion shows, etc.)

-Must either enjoy shopping for clothes & accessories, or at least be willing to accompany me while I shop for these items.

-Must be able to converse somewhat intellectually on various subjects, such as current events, books, television, music, and movies.

-Passion for fashion, pop princesses, Disney princesses, bunnies, cupcakes, and champagne are a plus.


I will throw your resume out if:

-You are self-centered, self-obsessed, and genuinely believe you are the most gorgeous/intelligent person to walk on the face of this earth.

-You talk shit about me behind my back.

-You are a pathological liar.

-You are fake.


I am looking forward to receiving all of your resumes and cover letters! I am so excited to hire my new friend! Yay!
at

40 comments:

  1. MGAugust 22, 2011 at 9:48 AM

    Pick me! Pick me! Ok, but seriously, all these losers don't deserve to call you a friend. You truly are fabulous, and you know that's no bullshit.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Couture CarrieAugust 22, 2011 at 10:05 AM

    I would love to be your friend, darling!

    Fun pics and qualifications :)

    xoxox,
    CC

    ReplyDelete
  3. ShannonAugust 22, 2011 at 10:06 AM

    you are too stinkin' cute. expect a resume AND cover letter heading your way. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Silver StrandsAugust 22, 2011 at 10:12 AM

    haha ... I'll look forward to seeing your "pick" :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. AnonymousAugust 22, 2011 at 10:18 AM

    I hope you don't mind, but I already consider us friends...and I am only friends with fabulous people and we all know you are FABULOUS!!!

    xoxo
    Amy

    ReplyDelete
  6. Once Upon A Time...August 22, 2011 at 10:19 AM

    haha this is so good! i'm curious to know who will be the lucky friend!
    is this some sort of paris hilton's tv show lol?

    jos xx

    ReplyDelete
  7. BelAugust 22, 2011 at 10:32 AM

    I wanna be your new friend!!!! I'm not that up to date with current events, but I'm sure we can make it work ;)

    Belly B :)

    ReplyDelete
  8. StephanieAugust 22, 2011 at 11:01 AM

    Me? Please? I'm funny and kind and a pretty good cook. I promise that I'll only talk shit to your face.

    (And I have no friends here. Zero. Unless you count my dog. So I really need this job.)

    ReplyDelete
  9. TanviAugust 22, 2011 at 11:25 AM

    I love your sense of humor!!! :) I really really do!!!

    I "AM" your friend ... Thank you very much! :P

    ♡ from © tanvii.com

    ReplyDelete
  10. Amber Lucas A Mused BlogAugust 22, 2011 at 11:34 AM

    YAY!!! I want to apply! let's go to museums, get drunk in their bathrooms, and then hit on the museum staff. It will be awesome. We can even have a conversation with a painting or two.

    Yes.

    Amber
    Ambersmouthwash

    ReplyDelete
  11. Andrés CorellaAugust 22, 2011 at 11:59 AM

    Oh well I´ll sure would want to participate but I am like a million miles far away haha...btw I left you and award on my blog be sure to pick it up!

    xx
    Andy
    The Black Label

    ReplyDelete
  12. Tights LoverAugust 22, 2011 at 12:06 PM

    Wait a second! I thought I was...

    Uh-oh. Did I just get fired? This is a hell of a way to find out. You'll be hearing from my lawyer!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Julia, the Thanksgiving GirlAugust 22, 2011 at 12:15 PM

    This is fun!! Love the idea and love the qualities you look for in a friend and are willing to give back :)

    ReplyDelete
  14. LeiaAugust 22, 2011 at 12:28 PM

    I'm sending you my CV! :P

    ♥ Leia

    ReplyDelete
  15. VixAugust 22, 2011 at 12:49 PM

    Me!" I'd love to apply, you rock! x

    ReplyDelete
  16. Bronzed HumanityAugust 22, 2011 at 1:30 PM

    HA! Im IN! I love daytime alcohol drinks and im not a pathological liar!
    xx

    Hot Pink Day
    Shop Blue Vanilla

    ReplyDelete
  17. -E-August 22, 2011 at 2:53 PM

    damn, i tick all the other boxes but i don't think i'm fabulous.

    ReplyDelete
  18. SherinAugust 22, 2011 at 2:56 PM

    Totally going to apply for this position!! Why I stand out: I too am fabulous. I will be willing to part take in all activities from Jumping on stage during a gig, to spending an afternoon at a museum.
    I also have the ability to make anyone laugh no matter what situation.

    I think I might re-pick up One Day. It started off amazingly, then I sorta lost interest. I stil really want to watch the movie though.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Emily GrayAugust 22, 2011 at 3:00 PM

    this position has my name all over it. do you want my application in writing or in email? :)

    justjump...
    saywhatyourheartwants.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  20. Selvaggia CapizziAugust 22, 2011 at 3:30 PM

    Me!! Me!!! My resume is on its way to you!
    xx
    http://dontcallmefashionblogger.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  21. CatAugust 22, 2011 at 3:36 PM

    ha-ha ... this is cute! You are fucking awesome :)

    ❤ Cat brideblu

    ReplyDelete
  22. LisaAugust 22, 2011 at 3:48 PM

    i freakin' L-O-V-E this post!!! we're friends? right??? hahaha :)

    ReplyDelete
  23. Venus Loves VirgoAugust 22, 2011 at 4:09 PM

    AWESOME! I so missed your posts while I was away. Looking forward to them. XOXO

    ReplyDelete
  24. stylenuggetsAugust 22, 2011 at 5:02 PM

    Wow, look at the competition for this postiton. Harder than applying for a job. But seriously would love to apply. Can someone who lives half a world away and isn't fake apply??

    ReplyDelete
  25. SarahAugust 22, 2011 at 5:18 PM

    I make amazing cupcakes!
    x

    ReplyDelete
  26. The Blonde DuckAugust 22, 2011 at 6:24 PM

    I offer pie.

    ReplyDelete
  27. MeriAugust 22, 2011 at 7:00 PM

    I hope you are a blog friend, and maybe one day a "real life" (read: able to enjoy some champagne together) friend. Good luck with the applicants- I know you've had a rough patch in your past... make sure they are worthy!

    ReplyDelete
  28. SylarAugust 22, 2011 at 7:22 PM

    nice post :P
    +follow

    ReplyDelete
  29. SandyAugust 22, 2011 at 7:48 PM

    I figure since you already love me I must be a shoe-in for the job lol.
    love this post babe!

    ReplyDelete
  30. Style, She WroteAugust 22, 2011 at 8:34 PM

    Very cute post! We'd love to be your friends. xo style, she wrote

    ReplyDelete
  31. JosieAugust 22, 2011 at 8:48 PM

    Consider me an official APPLICANT.
    xo Josie
    www.winksmilestyle.com

    ReplyDelete
  32. BonnieAugust 22, 2011 at 9:07 PM

    I win.
    Know why?
    BECAUSE I'M FUCKING AWESOME.
    And that's just how it works.
    Now let's get together in person because we live close enough not to.

    http://www.glamkittenslitterbox.com/
    Twitter: @GlamKitten88

    ReplyDelete
  33. socialitedreamsAugust 22, 2011 at 10:10 PM

    where can i email my resume? i fit this to a tee! ;) your fabulosity + my socialite nature = AMAZING LIFE....let's doooo it


    Vonnie of Socialitedreams.com

    ReplyDelete
  34. janelAugust 22, 2011 at 11:35 PM

    Ha ha! I really needed this post, thanks for making me smile!

    http://www.afoolforfashion.com/

    ReplyDelete
  35. Movies on my MindAugust 23, 2011 at 2:13 PM

    Wow, I seriously scored low on your criterion for what actually constitutes a best friend.

    I always had you down as a fellow self-obsessed narcissist ;-)

    Funny how you just can’t read some people.

    ReplyDelete
  36. UnknownAugust 23, 2011 at 6:21 PM

    Where and how can I apply!!! I want to be fucken awesome like you girl!!! I would love to be your friend...PLEASE????



    <3 Marina
    Fashion.MakeUp.LifeStyle

    ReplyDelete
  37. cristina petreAugust 25, 2011 at 4:22 AM

    sending mine right now:))
    nice blog, following!

    ReplyDelete
  38. GayatriAugust 25, 2011 at 12:59 PM

    Me? Next time you're in Chicago? With so many amazing responses I figured you can have one in each city :)

    ReplyDelete
  39. bbAugust 29, 2011 at 8:13 PM

    obviously you should pick me. I have clueless memorized, and I am always game for random shopping excursions. if you like to dance on tables, you're perfect for me, too - I finally won't be the only one!

    x. jill
    www.thoseghosts.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
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