Sunday, March 25, 2012

My Leo fantasies, revealed.

The other day, I told you about a friend of mine who had an unhealthy obsession with Jonathan Taylor Thomas.

Well, today, I'm going to tell you about my teenage love for Leonardo DiCaprio.



In 1997, Leo was a raging heartthrob. For some of you younger readers, who only know the creepy, slightly stocky Leonardo from today, I know this is hard to believe. But trust me, the guy was a stone-cold fox.

I couldn't even watch my worn-out VHS of Romeo + Juliet without heaving a heavy sigh of love.



When I was in eighth grade, I would have extremely vivid fantasies involving Leonardo.

I would be sitting in math class, and then all of the sudden Leo would appear, wearing a loose button down white cotton shirt and snug, slightly faded blue jeans.

"Come away with me, now," he would demand, staring intensely at me with his striking blue eyes.

Flustered, I would look around.

"But I'm in math class right now," I would protest.

"I don't care," he would say, dramatically, sweeping me off my feet. "I'm in love with you!"

The envy I envisioned on my female classmates' faces was always priceless.

And with one tilt of my head, we would kiss, right in front of my entire math class.

And then I would repeat this fantasy in history class, gym, and sometimes randomly at the grocery store.



These fantasies consumed me. I was feverishly in love. If I saw a tabloid that would even suggest Leo had a girlfriend, I would then fantasize about stuffing carrots up her nose and smearing peanut butter in her hair. And then Leo and I would share a hearty laugh over my jealous fit and skip off into the sunset, hand in hand.



The difference between me and Candy, however, is that I never told anyone about my fantasies.

In fact, I kept my passion for Leo hidden, out of shame.

If one of my friends even brought him up, I would jump out of my skin and stutter, "What Leo-who-I mean, what, of course I know who he is, but ew so not my type, I mean god, please." And then I would turn beet red and change the subject to the latest Spice Girls song or something.

But it finally got to the point where I couldn't keep my love a secret anymore.



Titanic came out in theaters.

I saw it on opening day with my parents.

After we exited the theater, I started uncontrollably sobbing.

My dad was surprised.

"Are you crying because it was a sad movie?" he asked, perplexed.

"No," I sobbed back. "I'm crying because Leonardo DiCaprio doesn't know who I am!"

And there it was.

29 comments:

  1. Awesome story, Jenny! I am older than you are, and, I, too, have loved Leo for a long time. What girl did not fall in love with him in Titanic? He has been very smart in managing in career after that movie, and following a three year hiatus, has returned with strong roles, in excellent movies, proving that he was not "just eye candy," after all. A favorite movie of mine is "What's Eating Gilbert Grape." A young Leo. A young Johnny Depp. Both excellent. You can't go wrong there. Veronique (French Girl in Seattle) PS: Awesome shots you chose here! I can see why you would fantasize about Leo in math class...

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  2. We all had our share of fantasies one time or the other.
    www.thoughtsofpaps.com

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  3. What a great read! I've admired Leo as an actor since What's Eating Gilbert Grape but never taken much notice of his looks until I saw The Departed, he's definitely improved with age. x

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  4. Ha! I totally loved him and JTT, so funny! The joys of a young crush:)

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  5. I miss Leo from the 90's. He was amazing. I was so in love. But did the same thing where I would pretend I didn't know who he was.

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  6. hehe..i actually like him more now than before..i always thought he looked a little girly for a man..but now, he has proved to be a good actor(not just pretty face) and he looks macho man. :-)

    http://cactusandcucumber.blogspot.com/

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  7. I completely share the same sentiments as Asta! :)

    ∞ © tanvii.com ∞

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  8. Man, you're right. Leo used to be such a hottie. I also went through a Leo phase 7th/8th grade. It all started with the Basketball Diaries. I thought that movie sucked, but Leo was so hot! And then Romeo and Juliet came out and I just couldn't contain my love for him. So I hung his picture up in my locker. He doesn't look like the Leo I was in love with anymore!!! But I don't blame him, no one looks the same forever. Great post!

    Mabel
    Mabel Time

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  9. Goddamn I love Leo. Like, still love him. Even with his questionable string of girls (they're questionable because they're not me). Love. Him.

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  10. Awwwwww you are such a sweetheart!

    xoxox,
    CC

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  11. My husband lost his virginity while watching Titanic.

    Therefore, I do not like Leo.

    Makes perfect sense, right? :)

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  12. oh my gosh, i love the last part of this post!!! ;)

    i think it's safe to say that everyone had a crush on leo at one point or another. ;)

    <3, Mimi
    http://whatmimiwrites.blogspot.com/
    Fashion To Figure Giveaway: Win any item $30 or less
    Poshlocket Giveaway: Win a Shelly Fabric Choker

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  13. I'm always interested in hearing your fantasies Jen.

    ...was that out loud?

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  14. I saw that movie 4 times and SOBBED each and every time.

    Obviously I'm going to back to relive my awkward teen years in 3D

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  15. Real life, who DIDN'T love him?
    xo Josie
    www.winksmilestyle.com

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  16. Titanis is one of a god movie with Leonardo as the main cast, i love that movie, nice post :)

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  17. My younger sister was obsessed with him. I had to take her to see Titanic over ten times. I stood in line at midnight to buy it when it came out on dvd too. I hung all her posters up - which she had over a thousand. I haven't liked him mich since that!! x

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  18. That final quote is priceless! It is amazing how easily we can get caught up in celebrity crushes when we're young. :P

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  19. HAHA Jennifer! You are too funny girl. His eyes always got me. I still love Leo. I like him for his acting skills. He's amazing. Thanks for sharing this.
    http://www.averysweetblog.com/

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  20. Oh yes Leo was gorgeous!! I definitely crushed on him. But once I saw Legend of the Fall and A River Runs Through it, Brad had officially stolen my heart... ;)

    xo
    Rachel

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  21. i totally understand your teen crush on Leo. everyone i knew had a crush on him in 8th grade, except for me. he just wasn't my type. but i would pick him over JTT any day!

    I actually like older Leo better...he's more rugged and less...soft. :)

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  22. He the best actor around right now. I refuse to even argue with anyone about this...even if he is 'creepy' hahaha.

    I'm sure a lot of people shared your love for him back then as well...

    But, uh...carrots and peanut butter? Remind me to NEVER get on your bad side...

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  23. there was a time when surely he was the most beautiful human in existence. I'm going to have a short moment for leonardo's romeo... le sigh...

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  24. Oh my ur post really cracks me up, what a sense of humor,u get there. I looooveee it :))

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  25. leo is real beautiful
    i´m portuguese , i love your blog.
    I am FOLLOW

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  26. i adorrrrre him. cannot wait to see titanic in 3d lol

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  27. Ha ha I loved this because I used to be like that too - except with my novel characters ha ha ha. I loved Leo though as well and loved it especially when I turned 13 the year that Titanic came out - totally went and bought this Leo mag and still have it. He's certainly hot today too.

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