The Pretty Girl Complex

You know a girl like Sara.

A pretty face without much substance.

She's not very smart. She's not very witty. She's not very original.

Sara lacks that special core, that uniqueness. Her personality is based solely on how people react to her outer beauty.

Growing up, she didn't take time to nourish her soul. She didn't read books. She didn't treat people nicely. Everyone kept saying she was beautiful, so she knew that was her power. That's what made her special. That's what made her better than everyone else.

Boldly placing yourself on top of a superficial pedestal is easy when you think everyone else is beneath you. Beauty trumps brains. It trumps money. It trumps creativity.

Sara craves people worshipping her. She only feels human when men are fawning over her. She only feels worthwhile when other women are jealous.

While most people have hobbies, Sara spends a lot of time staring in the mirror, putting on makeup or just admiring herself.

Guys are obsessed with her. It makes their day when she flirts with them. They tell their girlfriend "she's not my type" but secretly wish Sara was in her place. They would ditch their girl in a second if Sara batted her curled Maybelline eyelashes in distress. It would make their dick feel bigger to have such a stunning girl on their arm. A girl who looks like she stepped out of a movie.

While Sara is flaunting her youthful, trendy beauty, other girls her age feel invisible.

They don't realize they're attractive too, but in a more fascinating way. They're most beautiful when you take the time to study every crevice of their face. Those oddities in their features, the kind that might seem imperfect next to Sara, are what make them perfect. These girls have bumps on their noses. Freckles on their cheeks. Gaps between their teeth. Dark, creamy skin. Their beauty is so poetic, it's mesmerizing.

But immature guys don't pay attention to real beauty. They're programmed to want the obvious, whether its Heidi Klum or Megan Fox.

And while most girls hate Sara, they don't realize how much it would suck to be her.

Guys don't chase after Sara because she's interesting. They chase after her because she won the gene pool lottery. They don't want to learn everything about her. They just want to fuck her.

Eventually, Sara will no longer be able to triumph over the other girls.

Even her beauty won't hold a candle to reality.

Men might be attracted to shiny objects, but they get bored with them quickly. Real men want a partner who can stimulate them physically, mentally, and emotionally. They want someone with fiery passion. They want someone who can make intelligent conversation. They want someone who can make them laugh. They want someone who shares the same interests. They want someone who isn't bloated with arrogance. They want a lover who is their other half.

A best friend and a soul mate, wrapped up in one.

It might take a while for them to figure it out, but they eventually do.

And that's why it sucks to be Sara.

She never wins in the end.

Jezebel?

I know a girl who was kind, funny, and sweet

But her life was merely deceit

She had long blonde locks then cut them short

She might have had babies she had to abort

I wanted to be her best friend

I didn't know her presence would end

(so abruptly)

The lies caught up with the image

We were left to pick up the wreckage

Was she...? Did she...? She was, she did

It breaks my heart the secrets she hid

Cheating, lying, scandals, and sex

Paying her bills thanks to horny rednecks

(it seems)

I want to believe it's not true

I want to believe that's not you

In times of desperation I can understand

But not when it comes to cheating on your man

Maybe we're wrong, maybe we're right

But why would you block us out of spite?

(otherwise)

This is a terrible poem and I know it

If you're not guilty, why don't you show it?

I'd like to think you weren't faking the sweetness

But either way, it's a terrible mess

I guess you really just don't know someone

Until you hear the truth and they're long gone

(without a word)

It's okay. Don't cry.

The Lady Lesbian

She was born into a world of scandal.

Her mother was the gorgeous mistress to King Edward VII and her father was a shadowy figure who was barely around.

By the time Violet Trefusis realized what was going on around her, she had already decided her life was going to be MUCH different than that of her promiscuous mother.

Unfortunately, the pretty little child had absolutely no idea that her future would not only eclipse her mother's famous affair, but shock the entire country.

When Violet was a teenager, she fell in love with a girl a couple years older, named Vita. Their flirtations came to a close when the king died and Violet's mother decided to take her family abroad for a couple years as a courtesy to her royal lover's grieving family.

When Violet came back to London, she was outraged to learn that Vita was engaged. To a man! To make Vita jealous, Violet flirted mercilessly with men at society parties and even got engaged a couple times to get her crush's attention.

But, it didn't work.

Vita

Vita remained happily married, giving birth to two sons. But then one day Vita's husband had a confession. He was cheating on her...with men. Stunned by her husband's homosexual liaisons, Vita made an agreement with him: he could have sex with as many men as he wanted, but she got to do the same...with women.

Thrilled by the turn of events, Violet once again declared her love for Vita and much to her astonishment, her wish came true! The two women spent every waking moment together, holding hands in the lush green countryside to frolicking on the beaches of South France.

Gossip of their affair traveled back to London, much to the dismay of Violet's mom. Even though the middle-aged woman had once been the mistress to the very married King of England, at least she had done it with a little dignity and discretion! Not prancing around Europe without a care in the world! With a woman, nonetheless!What was her daughter thinking?!

She threatened to cut off her daughter's finances until she married. Violet was torn. It was 1919. She had no skills to get a job. There was no way she could support herself alone. She begged Vita to leave her husband, so the two of them could run off together and live as a couple freely, without the hypocrisy of fake marriages disguising their true love. They would worry about money later, but at least they would have each other, honestly.

But Vita refused. Violet was asking something of her that wouldn't be socially acceptable until nearly 100 years later.

Frustrated and bitter, Violet agreed to marry the man of her mother's choice, only as long he agreed to never consummate the marriage. Here she was entering the hypocritical life of her mother, something she promised herself she would never do, but it seemed she wasn't being offered a better choice.

Her handsome new 20-something husband agreed to the platonic marriage, simply thinking that Violet was merely a pure and innocent girl who was terrified of sex. After the marriage was finalized, Violet finally confessed to her husband his worst nightmare: she was a lesbian.

When she tried to leave her husband to go back to Vita, however, she had her entire family as a roadblock.

Her younger sister, Sonia, was engaged to a very wealthy and respectable aristocrat (together, they would eventually become the grandparents to Camilla Parker Bowles). Violet's parents were adamant that their openly gay daughter not destroy the union by flaunting her homosexuality in public. Violet fought so hard to be able to see Vita, that it destroyed her family. Both her father and sister stopped speaking to her.

By the time her sister was married, it was too late for Violet and Vita to rekindle their romance. Someone had spread a rumor to Vita that Violet and her husband were sleeping together. Even though Violet insisted to Vita that it simply wasn't true, Vita was already too hurt. She ended their relationship, leaving Violet in anguished, broken-hearted despair.

In the late 1920s, Vita would go on to have one of the most famous lesbian affairs in world-wide history with writer Virginia Woolf.

Vita & Virginia

Violet, however, turned into a ghost of herself after the break-up.

In the 1920s, she began a long-term affair with the sewing machine heiress, Winnaretta Singer, who was married to a prince. But instead of wild passion and dreams of running away, the romance was much more discreet and controlled.

Violet's mother actually approved of this affair, because not only was it being conducted in good taste, but Winnaretta was one of the wealthiest and socially acceptable women in Europe. If her daughter was going to insist on being a lesbian, at least she was now sleeping with the right woman!

Winnaretta Singer

But Violet was miserable. She was living the lesbian version of her mother's life. She was nothing more than a mistress to married royalty.

Whatever happened to living free? Defying hypocrisy? Being PROUD of who you were?

Sadly, those were feelings way before her time. The world wasn't ready for it yet.

(source)

After World War II, Violet and Vita reconnected and rekindled their romance. They remained close friends for life.

Vita eventually passed away in 1962 and Violet passed away ten years later.

But their forbidden and tortured love remains the source of legend.

Books, movies, and history have preserved a bond forever.

A bond that couldn't even last for the people who created it nearly 100 years ago.

The Tale of Two Lovers

With his mischievous grin and saucy wit, Joe Orton could get away with just about anything.

So when the working class 20-something Brit moved to London to try his luck at acting, nobody questioned it.

Although he was a fair actor, with impressive physique and genuine charisma, it soon became clear the stage wasn't meant for Joe. He was an incredibly talented writer and his dark, dry humor shocked and delighted everyone who read his essays or short stories.

In 1951, Joe met and fell in love with an older, middle-class guy, Kenneth Halliwell, who seemed lonely and lost. Life hadn't been very fair to Kenneth. When he was 11, he had watched in horror as his mother was stung by a wasp and choked to death in front of him. When he was 23, he woke up one morning to find his father dead from a suicide in the kitchen, his head still in the gas oven. Both incidents had left the shy kid devastated.

Joe and Kenneth felt a deep understanding to one another. Joe, being so outgoing and joyful, brought Kenneth back to life. Kenneth, reserved and observant, brought out a more serious side in Joe. It was a perfect match.

The two started writing stories together, such as Lord Cucumber and the Boy Hairdresser. Their honest and humorous accounts of homosexuality raised eyebrows but didn't get them published at the time.

Bored by their lack of success, the two young men became pranksters.

In their spare time, they stole more than 70 books from the public library and defaced the covers before returning them. For example, on one cover they drew a naked middle-aged man with tattoos. Unfortunately, the library system didn't think the vandalized covers were very funny and both men were prosecuted. They spent six months in jail.

While Joe was in jail, something about being alone in a cell changed him. He had hours upon hours to think creatively and ponder about the world. His writing started to change. It became more mature and fresh and exciting. By the time he was released from jail, Joe was a changed man.

He started publishing unique and hilarious plays, such as Loot, which were gaining national attention. Critics either loved or hated him. Celebrities wanted to hang out with him. It was swinging sixties London and he was one of the hottest figures in town.

Unfortunately, his boyfriend couldn't bring himself to bask in the success.

Kenneth grew more and more jealous of Joe's growing fame and talent. He was bitter that Joe seemed to have moved on professionally, away from him. Whatever happened to writing stories together? He felt left behind, even though he was always at Joe's side, invited to the hottest parties and traveling the world on exotic vacations.

Kenneth started taking anti-depressants to ease the pain. His sulky, resentful attitude turned off most of Joe's new famous friends, who would invite the hot 30-something playwright to parties on the condition that Kenneth had to stay home. The two men began to grow distant.

On a warm August night in 1967, Joe decided he was going to break up with Kenneth the next day. After all, their lives were going in opposite directions. Joe had already fallen in love with another guy and wanted to see where that relationship went. It wouldn't be fair to string Kenneth along anymore. Plus, Joe was on top of the world. Tomorrow, he would be meeting with The Beatles to discuss a screenplay he had written for them.

But tomorrow never came.

While Joe slept, Kenneth took a hammer and bashed his boyfriend's skull nine times. Blood splattered all over the bed, the walls, and the floor. Then, Kenneth took an overdose of pills, killing himself instantly.

Heartbreakingly, Joe remained alive in his bed for several agonizing hours, before finally succumbing to death himself. The bodies of both men were found by their chauffeur the next morning.

Today, it still remains one of the most gory and disturbing crime scenes in London's history.

And just like he feared all along, Kenneth has been forgotten. He is merely a footnote in literary history.

The muse and murderer to a brilliant mind that was simply crushed too soon.

Good Girls Gone Bad

There's a dirty, unspoken rule in Hollywood.

If you're a kiddie actress, the only road to a legitimate career is spreading your legs. On film. White powder and booze are encouraged bonuses.

The latest victims of this sentiment are, of course, Disney princesses Vanessa Hudgens and Selena Gomez in the cringe-worthy movie Spring Breakers.

 

 

Vanessa, the once spotless role model of High School Musical fame, plays a sociopathic nympho with an alarming thirst for violence.

 

 

Selena, the former Disney Channel darling, plays a hopelessly confused Christian who cannot for the life of her understand why doing drugs and dancing naked with STD-soaked penises is BAD.

("But we were just having fun!")

 

 

This film is basically the quickest and easiest way for both Vanessa and Selena to tell the world they've grown up, tossed out the Disney halos, and want to be taken seriously as actresses. It is also a hall pass to audition for more serious roles in serious films.

Like, seriously.

"I was getting kind of repetitive in terms of the roles I was picking,” Selena Gomez told Interview Magazine, “and I really wanted to do something that was completely different. It was a mark thing for me — like, ‘This is what I want to be doing.' I want to be taking myself seriously as an actress, and this was definitely a stretch. I mean, I'd never smoked a cigarette before in my entire life. It was really funny — they had to show me how to do it."

I'm not sure what's worse, the fact that these young actresses are so willing to play these sex-fueled roles to prove they're grown up, or if Hollywood is simply not offering any other solutions.

Why does a girl who is famous for being a princess have to act like a slut to change the tone of her career? I'm not saying these girls have to remain innocent their entire lives, but is going from one extreme to the next really the only way to grab attention?

It worked for Anne Hathaway. She has admitted that during her Princess Diaries fame, it was nearly impossible for her to snag serious roles.

That's the reason she made Havoc in 2005. In the indie film, she plays a sexually confused rich girl who cures boredom by hanging out with gang members. Nudity, sex, drugs. No tiara in sight.

 

And guess what? Her next film was the award-winning sensation Brokeback Mountain.

 

Child star Dakota Fanning raised eyebrows in 2010 by starring as vixen rocker Cherie Currie in The Runaways. It was the first film to really showcase the then-17-year-old as an adult.

 

In the edgy film, she wore fishnet thigh-highs and corsets, showed partial nudity, and had a sex scene with Kristen Stewart.

Her career hasn't slowed down since.

And even 20 years ago, Drew Barrymore used the technique to star in Poison Ivy, in which she played the ultimate sex-crazed bad girl.

Today, she's already a Hollywood legend.

But, the good-girl-gone-bad trick doesn't always work.

Remember Elizabeth Berkley?

If not, that's the reason. In the midst of her squeaky clean Saved by the Bell fame (she was the feminist nerd, Jessie Spano) she jumped right into the film role of a shameless stripper who will do anything to get ahead. The movie was called Showgirls.

 

Despite the glorified nudity, sex, and blatantly R-rated content, the 1995 movie was a cheesy, disastrous, and unintentionally hilarious flop. Her career never recovered.

These days, you'll be lucky if you catch her in a handful of CSI: Miami reruns.

So, where lies the fate of Vanessa and Selena?

Who knows.

Both acted pretty well in Spring Breakers, with Selena being more notable.

Vanessa does have some interesting films lined up, especially Gimme Shelter, which centers around her playing a street-wise teen desperately seeking her wealthy father. If all goes well, it could earn some awards for the 24-year-old.

Selena has a few less-interesting films lined up, but her shinier celeb status as Justin Bieber's ex-or-not-ex may help strengthen her showbiz career.

 

It's a toss up.

Both girls are talented and deserve to be carefully considered for more serious films.

I just wish it didn't take sex to make it happen.

Blood in the Chalet

One of my favorite movies is The Party.

It's a 1968 hilarious showcase of Hollywood glamour and wacky shenanigans.

The film revolves around a bumbling, yet lovable, struggling Indian actor who is accidentally invited to a ritzy movie studio honcho's sophisticated party.

The love interest in the film always takes my breath away every time I watch it. Her name is Claudine Longet.

The daintily beautiful French pop star plays an up-and-coming actress in the comedy. She's divine.

But her life has been anything but.

This is her story.

When she was 18-years-old, the Paris-born Claudine was a sexy, but soft-spoken, showgirl struggling to make ends meet in Las Vegas. One day, her car had broken down on the side of the road, and she stood there helplessly, unsure about what to do. A fancy car pulled over, and out stepped Andy Williams, one of the biggest pop stars in the world. The 32-year-old heartthrob was so enamoured with the exquisite French beauty, he asked her out on the spot. They married a year later.

For the next decade, their life was a dazzling Hollywood fairytale. They jet-setted around the world, drinking champagne at extravagant parties with their closest friends, such as Barbra Streisand and the Kennedys.

They lounged by their crystal blue pool at their Palm Beach home.

They rocked the red carpet at movie premieres.

Claudine's career was skyrocketing, with television appearances, hit singles, and film offers.

Andy's career was also at an all-time high, with a new televised variety show, top billing at Cesar's Palace in Las Vegas, and radio hits.

During the 1960s, they had three children who they absolutely adored.

But by the late 1960s, their perfect world started to unravel.

Their best friend, Robert Kennedy, was assassinated on the very day they were supposed to spend the evening with him.

Soon, the tabloids started blasting rumors that the handsome Andy was having a sizzling affair with Robert's widow, Ethel Kennedy.

Along with their tragic loss and facing such a humiliating scandal, the couple realized, after 14 years of marriage, they were no longer in love. Andy no longer felt fireworks every time he looked in his beautiful wife's eyes. Claudine admitted she couldn't stand the sight of him. They divorced so amicably, they decided to use the same lawyer.

After the divorce, Claudine met and fell in love with an Olympic medalist and skier, "Spider" Vladimir Peter Sabich Jr. She and her three children quickly moved into his Aspen home, which was a jolt of reality for the swinging ladies' man.

His friends noticed that he was becoming increasingly unhappy with the relationship. They noticed Claudine was clingy and jealous. Spider told them he wanted to break up with Claudine, but she refused to let it happen.

On a fateful afternoon in 1976, Claudine was sitting in their spacious chalet, waiting for her kids to come home from school. But Spider came home first. He decided to shower and get ready for a party the two were attending that night.

Claudine walked into the bathroom, as he was disrobing, and with a pistol, shot him. His blood drowned the bathroom floor. He died in her arms on the way to the emergency room.

Andy rushed to Aspen to comfort his ex-wife, and it turned out, she needed it. Desperately. Although she told police that the shooting was a complete accident (Spider had been teaching her how to use the gun, she claimed) the city of Aspen had a different opinion.

People in the ritzy Colorado town practically spit on her in the streets and deemed her a murderess.

She was charged with reckless manslaughter.

Her murder trial became one of the most sensationalized events of the 1970s. It was the first crime to make the cover of People magazine. The Rolling Stones even recorded a song about Claudine.

And although the world delighted in branding the European glamourpuss "guilty" she had the staunch support of her ex-husband Andy, who fervently believed she was telling the truth. He even said so on stand, much to the astonishment of the courtroom.

In Claudine's favor, the trial ended up being botched. Dim-witted policemen mishandled evidence, making the most damning clues inadmissible in court. Among the mishandled evidence included a blood test proving Claudine had been under the influence of cocaine during the shooting and her diary, which documented her troubled relationship with the famous athlete.

With those two pieces of circumstantiial evidence thrown out, the prosecuting attorney didn't stand a chance of hanging her for murder. Claudine was merely found guilty of criminally negligent homicide and issued to spend 30 days in county jail. Spider's family was disgusted with the verdict.

As if that wasn't enough, Claudine shocked the world even further by jumping into a steamy affair with her married defense attorney, Ron Austin. The two wed in 1985 and still reside in Aspen today.

Despite her tarnished reputation, Claudine is considered a musical legend. Her catchy pop songs and heart wrenching ballads are still popular today. More and more young people are buying her albums.

And then there are people who continue to fall in love with Claudine the minute she smiles on film with shy uncertainty, gazing up with her big doe eyes, and it's easy to understand why Andy Williams came to a screeching halt that sunny afternoon on the Las Vegas strip.

What do you think of Claudine?