Giveaway winner & etc.

First thing is first: Ela from Extra Dressing On. The. Side is my first giveaway winner! She will receive the crystal dragonfly necklace I made. Congratulations, Ela!

Also, I wanted to update you on the sour cream lady. She never showed up to work on Monday. In fact, the regular secretary was back from maternity leave. When I asked the secretary why she was back early and where sour cream lady was, she said she didn't know. All she knew was that the office manager called and asked her if she could come back to work a week early. So I guess that's the end of that...? Although, I have to admit, I'm still very curious about everything. Where did she go? Why did she snap? Sigh. I guess that's just the investigative journalist in me...

This week has been pretty strange for me. I feel like I'm on a roller coaster. One day I'm up, the next day I'm down.



Unfortunately, today happens to be a down day. I'm feeling hopelessly depressed. I feel fat, ugly, and lame. I'm dreading going to work. I just feel awful and unwanted. Today is going to drag by verrrry slowly, I'm afraid.

Anyway, I'll stop there because I don't want to drag anyone else down with me! Ha.

I hope everyone else has a better day!

My allergies are killing me, but...

After a stressful week at work, I had a very relaxing and peaceful weekend. I think it is the first time I have been able to say that for a long time.



On Saturday night my friend Meredith and I had a girls night out. We had sushi and martinis at one of the best Japanese restaurants in town. We sat around downtown in this covered courtyard which is surrounded by upscale bars and we watched a football game on a giant screen. We just relaxed and had fun. We had coffee and cupcakes at a nearby diner.


(Meredith)


(Me. Wearing thrifted flannel shirt, Ralph Lauren skirt, Prada bag and Tod flats.)

We ended up seeing a late night showing of Love Happens at our city's fanciest movie theater. You had to be 21 to get in and pay $20 but it was actually worth it. The seats were leather recliners. The popcorn came with any seasoning we wanted (we opted for Parmesan). The drinks were cheapish (Meredith and I kind of overdid it on the wine). The servers were promptly at our beck and call. We felt like movie stars!



By the way, Love Happens is actually a good movie. It is not the sappy romantic comedy I was expecting. It was more a story about life. (And Aaron Eckhart is pretty hot).


Then today, Meredith and I continued our girls night out by attending our city's annual art fair. All the art was expensive but it was a lot of fun to browse.


Mostly, it just gave us ideas for fun art projects we could do ourselves. Haha.

Unfortunately walking outside started up my allergies and I've been kind of miserable for the past few hours. I'm hoping it will go away over night. But nothing ever does, does it? Blah.

Oh well. I hope everyone else had a fabulous weekend as well!

So, today at work...

The most bizarre thing happened at work today. I'm not sure what to make of it.

You see, a few months ago my company hired this temp to do secretarial stuff in the office. Her name is Linda and she is a middle-aged woman who always smiled shyly at everyone in the newsroom and kept to herself. I don't ever remember her talking before today. She was just quiet. A very motherly figure.

Well, this afternoon she went through the drive-thru at Wendy's for a baked potato, to bring it back to work for lunch.

When she got back to her desk and opened her potato, she gasped really loudly. She dropped the potato on the floor and started pointing at it, like it was a mouse.

"Th-th-they forgot sour cream!" she said. "Oh my god. They forgot to put sour cream on my baked potato."

She then started smashing her hand on her desk so loudly I thought my heart was going to stop.

"They forgot to put sour cream on my FUCKING BAKED POTATO!" she screamed, her face turning purple. "Those fucking Wendy's people forgot my FUCKING SOUR CREAM!"

And then she crumbled to the ground and started violently sobbing.

I was so stunned, I just sat there and watched. I was alone in the newsroom with her, so I was scared. An advertising executive rushed into the room to see what was going on. When I explained, he suggested that Linda go back to Wendy's to see if they could give her some sour cream or replace her order.

Linda didn't like that idea.

"WHY THE FUCK WOULD I GO BACK TO WENDY'S AFTER THEY FUCKING BETRAYED ME?" she shrieked at him. "I'M GOING TO FUCKING SUE THEM!"

She picked the baked potato off the floor and threw it in the trash can and left the office, muttering stuff about suing Wendy's. I stared at the advertising executive, with my mouth open, but he just shrugged casually, like going completely insane over sour cream was normal.

And that was it.

So, yeah.

If my life ever gets that unbearable, to the point where I'm going psycho over a baked potato, I want somebody to hit me over the head with a frying pan, just like they do in the cartoons.

Because I'll need it.

The Wild Wild West

I am a nerd.

I'm sorry to have to tell you this. I know it's shocking news.

You see, I have an addiction to history. In other words, I'm fascinated by stuff that happened a long time ago. Even though I was a communications major in college, I took several world and U.S. history classes, which I found a lot more interesting. It's not really the major events and famous people that intrigue me--it's everyone else. I love to learn about the not-so-well-known people who made a difference in this world, no matter how small.

I'm lucky enough to live in a part of the United States where history lives and breathes all around me. Native American history. Civil War history. Oregon Trail history. Presidential history.

And my favorite, Wild West history.

My friend Meredith and I recently took a road trip to an old Wild West town on our day off work. (Meredith is a nerd too, except much cooler). This town has several really cool museums and old buildings which have been preserved from the 1800s.

On our way there, we found this hole-in-the-wall hot dog place in the middle of nowhere. So, obviously, we had to eat there. We were surprised by the amount of variety at this small place. They had everything from chili dogs to Chicago dogs to the most bizarre creations (salsa and sauerkraut dog...um, no thanks).





Once we got to the Wild West town, we were in heaven. Everything was so cool. We toured an old dentist office, general store, pharmacy, bank, and our favorite, a newspaper building (Meredith and I are both reporters).

What struck us was how short all the ceilings and doors were in each place we went. According to our tour guide, people were much shorter 200 years ago.

I am five feet tall and here I am standing in a saloon that has been restored to its original 1800s look.



Meredith, who is a few inches taller, was almost brushing the ceiling with her head!



Afterwards, we went to a museum which had the coolest and creepiest old toys, gorgeous Wild West gowns and accessories, and a giant train.

To kill time we played the museum's game where you had to go through each exhibit and find something that doesn't belong in each area. (For example, in the fashion area we found a brand new glue gun, and in a bedroom area we found a clock radio). The prize for getting all the answers correct was a share in the railroad stock. I was really excited because I thought if we won, Meredith and I were going to get rich.



When we finished the game, the museum curator told us, we in fact, did win. She gave us our stock and I ran down the street squealing with excitement. But then we did some research and found out that the railroad we were given stock for doesn't even exist anymore. The company fell apart in 1908. I felt cheated and sorely disappointed. It was just a game after all. Meredith and I were not going to get rich. The realization hit me hard and I was sad all the way home.

But overall, it was a fantastic day and I learned a lot.

Such as:

Did you know that back in old times all the rich households and hotels had "fainting couches" (chaises) because women wore extremely tight corsets that made them likely to faint throughout the day?

And, the legendary sharp shooter, Annie Oakley, was my height: five feet tall?

Oh, and the requirements to be a mailman for the Pony Express: you had to be under 18, skinny, male, and an orphan. (Because there was a 90% chance you were going to die on the way to deliver the mail across the country and they didn't want to deal with grieving families).

Anyway, you get the point.

Am I the only history nerd out here? Is there anything historical that fascinates you?

PS. Don't forget to enter my giveaway!

100th post giveaway!

Here I am with my 100th post.

When I started this blog back in early February, I had no idea the journey it would take me on. "I know, right?" started out kind of shaky, kind of emo. It was such a horrible month that it was almost impossible for me to pretend to be happy. But somewhere in the spring, I changed.

I know it's sounds corny, but in a way this blog changed my life. It gave me something to look forward to and introduced me to some amazing friends (YOU) who have really made my life a lot happier. Plus, it forced me to look at my life. After all, I was writing about it. Having this perspective of seeing my feelings, emotions, and life on screen has kind of put things in a very different perspective for me. I see more positive now than ever before. I see more hope. And I see that I can tend to be a drama queen sometimes, and that makes me laugh instead of cry.

Obviously my life still has a lot of kinks I need to smooth out. But it's easier to work on them with all the support I have from you all. Reading the comments in my post below made me cry (in a happy way!). I feel so lucky to have such sweet and considerate friends online. You are all so beautiful and smart. I look up to each and every one of you. You inspire me every single day when I read your blogs. Thank you.

I have never done a giveaway before and I thought this anniversary would be the perfect time for my first. One of my mom's hobbies is to make dragonfly necklaces. She taught me how. I'm not going to lie, it's freaking hard! Haha. But I managed to make one that I think came out really pretty. It is made out of swarovski crystal beads and I made it out of neutral colors (brown, black, beige) so it could go with lots of outfits.

(Sorry about the horrid photo. I am obviously NOT a photographer! Lol.)


If you would like to win this necklace, all you have to do is be a follower of my blog and leave a comment. The winner will be chosen at random.

This contest is open to everyone, all over the world. (It always makes me sad when I see giveaways for U.S. residents only. Plus, this necklace is small and I saved up money for international shipping if need be).

The contest ends in one week.

Good luck to everyone!

Goodbye, summer clothes. I'm sorry I didn't wear you...

I have been complaining lately about being fat. Most of you have been sweet to tell me I'm wrong. I'm not complaining about my weight for attention or because I'm vain. I actually have a legitimate reason to be concerned. You see, in the past year I have gained 20 pounds. Up until last September, I always maintained a steady weight and never really went up or down very severely from it. I was a size 0. I am now a 6 (if I'm lucky, a 4 in certain brands). For someone five feet tall, this weight gain is enormous.

This year has changed me both mentally and physically. There were four major lay offs at my work, so I was always in constant fear of losing my job. Plus, my personal life was a wreck. It seemed every day I was in tears or depressed about something. The stress really took a toll on me. It got to the point where my doctor was so concerned about my weight gain, she called my parents. That was a huge mistake because now, instead of helping me through this, they literally tell me every day how fat I am and how gross it is. (They have been naturally skinny their entire lives). So that has taken a beating to my self-esteem.

Trying to lose the weight has been a frustrating battle. My problem is my eating habits are the same as they've always been. I am still eating small lunches and small dinners. I don't snack. I don't eat terribly fatty foods. So making changes to my meals seems kind of pointless. Exercise seems almost impossible. I can't afford a gym, I'm too scared to walk in my neighborhood by myself, and when I tried doing an exercise routine in my apartment, I got reprimanded for the noise I was causing. It seems like a lose-lose situation.

Does anyone have any advice for me? I'm too poor to afford new clothes, which is scary since I barely fit into any of my regular fall clothes anymore...

This summer, I was only able to wear about 30 percent of the summer clothes I own. There were numerous tops, ten pairs of jeans, and literally dozens of skirts and dresses that didn't fit me anymore.

I'm holding on to all of these clothes because I'm determined that this weight gain isn't permanent. (Or, perhaps I'm dreaming.)

But I feel like my closet tells my story. My clothes were with me during the good and the bad. I want to wear them again. I can't bear to part with them.

I picked out a few things that don't fit me anymore (okay, around 15, haha) to show you. I couldn't wear them this summer but it is a little comforting to know that through this blog they can still be seen. They deserve it.

And hopefully next summer, I will be wearing them again instead of pushing them to the back of the rack...

Here we go:


top, Etro (This was the first Etro piece I ever bought. It started a collection and an obsession. I now own more than 30 Etro items. I will have this top until I die.)



dress, Catherine Malandrino (I fell in love with this dress the moment I saw it. I was devastated I couldn't wear it this summer.)



dress, For Love and Liberty (Rian bought me this dress in May and I never got to wear it because it was too small. For some reason, the poor guy thinks I'm still a size 0.)



dress, Ann Taylor (My dad bought me this dress when I first got my reporting job at the newspaper.)



dress, Ralph Lauren (Rian and I had our first kiss when I was wearing this dress.)



dress, Urban Outfitters (I covered my first city council meeting in this dress.)



dress, Express (This was my favorite work dress. It showed off my great figure.)



dress, Ann Taylor (I got this dress on clearance for ten bucks. Insane.)



top, Bebe (I attended my first fashion show in this top.)



dress, Urban Outfitters (contrary to what the terrible photo shows, this dress actually poofs out 1950s style. GORGEOUS).



dress, American Eagle (Before we grew cynical with the real world, Rian and I used to drive out to the countryside at night and look at the stars. You can't see them in the city. Rian would play the guitar and I would lie in the grass...wearing this dress. Even the dress looks like a starry sky).



dress, handmade (My dad bought me this Indian dress when we were in Chicago three years ago. It was one of several a little Indian seamstress had made for her tiny shop. It is the only Indian thing I own.)



dress, Charlotte Russe (picnic dress!)



dress, White House/Black Market (I first wore this dress to a wedding for an old friend a couple years ago. The small gorgeous event was held in my friend's loft downtown, at midnight, with gigantic glass windows revealing the skyline. Rian and I had our first slow dance that night).




dress, Ann Taylor (I moderated my first televised debate wearing this dress. It was one of my proudest moments as a news reporter, back when I covered local politics two years ago.)



dress, Anthropologie (My college sweetheart broke up with me while I was wearing this dress. I actually had it in a pile of his things to burn, but I saved it at the last minute because it was so pretty.)


There you have it. Some of my favorite summer clothes. And I can't even wear them.

Next year...next year...

Daisy and award

This weekend has been kind of long and dreadful. It was the first week of my company's massive pay cut. When I saw my paycheck on Saturday morning, I almost fainted. Seriously. I don't know how I'm going to pay the rent this month. It's not like I have a rich boyfriend to fall back on, like I had always planned. I had to fall in love with the struggling musician. And I had to become a journalist (a notoriously low-paying career). I really screwed myself over, didn't I?

Anyway, my weekend did have a couple highlights. I had a Girls Night In with Kerrie (even though she was sick) and had lunch with Meredith at my favorite pizza place. Yay!

And my parents finally got a new lovebird! She is only seven weeks old, which makes her a baby. She's a lot different than Lily (our former lovebird who passed away a few weeks ago). This bird is named Daisy and she is a polite little lady. She doesn't bite (she wouldn't DREAM of it) and she is very quiet. She also likes to snuggle with people (something Lily would never be caught doing). Daisy is also very picky with her food. Lily ate everything we fed her, but Daisy is kind of a food snob. She only likes certain breads and wants nothing to do with fatty foods like potato chips. She also likes being petted, which delights my parents. If we ever tried to pet Lily, she would have made our hands bleed.



She is also a rare form of lovebird. Her father was a masked lovebird and her mother was like Lily. The combination made for a lovely shade, didn't it?

We're all very happy with her and excited to get to know her even better in time.

More happy news: Jane St. Clair over at Little Violet Dress gave me this fabulous award.



Jane is one of my favorite bloggers and every time I read her blog, I truly feel like I have just seen her in "real life." She has this great, casual way of writing that is like a conversation and has a personality that just jumps off the screen.

I am going to pass this award on to the following five inspirational blogs:

Fashion Layne
Tayler is fabulous and posts the most breathtaking images and quotes. I don't know how many times I have written a reminder to myself to look back at one of her posts, because of a look I want to emulate from one of her crazy fashion photos.

Fashion Chalet
Erika is a gorgeous, stunning woman. Every day she posts photos of herself that belong in a fashion magazine. Her sense of style is flawless and if I ever saw her closet, it would probably make me faint. Lol. She is definitely a HUGE inspiration for me, as a fashionista and as a blogger.

There are no Downsides in ROJ
This is not a fashion blog. It is the blog of a girl who simply loves to run. She is my friend Julie, who I have known since high school and who I haven't seen since our freshman year of college back in Ohio. She is a marathon runner and a damn good one at that. She is also the sweetest person. Every time I read her blog, I get more and more motivated to do something better with my life.

Couture Carrie
I love this blog so much, I don't even know where to begin. Lol. Every day, Carrie posts the most amazing fashion photos that reveal current styles, trends, or just fun themes. This is another fashion blog where I keep certain posts in my favorites list, to go back for inspiration. Oh, and she has the most AMAZING giveaways!

Iva Messy
This blog is hilarious and awesome and so much fun! Iva posts the most interesting facts and some of the strangest photos I have ever seen online. She also makes these sweet video blogs for her readers, which are fabulous. Her sense of humor, her thought-provoking questions, and her creativity inspire me every time I read her blog.