What's your poison?

I normally don't drink alcohol right after getting out of bed. But today is an exception.

It's 10 a.m. on a Wednesday morning, I'm unemployed, I feel like shit, and I'm fabulous.

I need a fucking drink. Right now.

I contemplated my usual gin & tonic, or perhaps a vodka on the rocks, or maybe a cosmo. But I decided I had enough ingredients to get creative, so I looked online for recipes.

Ummm...not all drink recipes are good. Sometimes you can tell just by looking at the ingredients something is going to be a disaster.

Below, I have listed a few of the most unappealing cocktails I came across. I finally decided on a screwdriver (seems more appropriate for the a.m.), so I won't be having any of these. But you can if you want! Hahaha!

Enjoy!



(Note: These are REAL. People actually drink these concoctions)


McDonalds To Go!

The Whiskeyburger

(Journalists at Esquire magazine came up with this mixed drink, which became quite popular amongst their staff. It supposedly tastes like an actual hamburger.)

Stir well with cracked ice:

3 oz ground-chuck-infused whiskey
2 tsp tomato syrup
1/4 tsp mustard bitters

Strain into small old-fashioned glass or cocktail glass. Top off with lettuce-onion foam* and garnish with a dill-pickle round.


Like cough syrup??

Robitussin

(This is an extremely popular drink, found on countless drink sites. Apparently people love the taste of this medicine...)

1 1/2 oz. Cherry Vodka
1 1/2 oz. Root Beer Schnapps

Stir, best without the rocks. Tastes just like the real thing.


Health nut?

The Lawnmower

(This drink was actually conceptualized by Homer Simpson on an episode of the Simpsons. It has since become a legitimate drink.)

1 Part vodka
1 Part Wheatgrass Juice

Mix 1 part freshly squeezed wheatgrass juice and 1 part vodka into a shot glass and shoot


The Worst of the Worst

Hemorrhoid Fever

(I found this one here. I'm...speechless.)

4 oz Bourbon
18 oz 180 proof Vodka
7 oz Blueberry Schnapps
6 cubes Beef Bouillon
1 stick Butter

Throw all ingredients into a blender, add ice to taste, mix and chill, serve.


So...yummy?