I haven't done a personal post in a while, so I figured I should let you know how I'm doing and whatnot.
I'm always stunned when I realize that some of you actually give a damn about my well-being.
This past month has been okay. Life isn't perfect, but I'm not as unhappy as I used to be. I actually discovered an unpublished post I had written three months ago, titled "I'm losing my mind." It was a bad time.
The only real unhappiness I have right now is my weight. I desperately want to lose twenty pounds, not just because of my appearance, but because of my health. My weight is actually making me sick now.
I'm horrified to say that in the past year, I have actually gained ten pounds while trying to lose ten pounds. I'm not sure why. I honestly do not have a bad diet. I rarely eat sweets. Most of my meals contain vegetables and meat. I do not eat junk food. It's quite the mystery and it makes me sad. I also had been walking every single day and doing zumba three times a week, but when I realized that I was packing on the pounds, rather than shedding them, I got so depressed that I stopped being active all together. I just gave up.
Now I'm even thinking so far as to get diet pills.
I do not have a full-time job yet, but I'm freelancing for my old newspaper and helping my dad out at the hospital on weekends. But it barely pays the bills and I haven't been shopping in months. I just have to take it one day at a time.
I'm still with my boyfriend, who I think I mention on here occasionally. We've been dating for five years now, although we still haven't celebrated our milestone anniversary, due to lack of funds.
Shit this all sounds depressing, doesn't it?
But I'm seriously okay. I'll make it, I think.
Thanks for caring.
You'll make it, I know!
ReplyDeletei have a friend who eats pretty healthy as well but she can't lose weight either. turned out she actually had a thyroid problem that was keeping her from shedding the pounds. maybe you should talk to a doctor before taking any diet pills.
plus, it's so much harder for girls than for guys to lose weight. i don't care what anybody says--that's the truth!
you are awesome! too funny for words! one of the best writers I know! and you rock my socks. love me some jenny benny!
<3
That really sucks about the weight. I can definitely relate. I'm eating healthy, working out and breastfeeding and I still have about 20lbs of baby weight to lose and it won't come off.
ReplyDeleteIt's so frustrating that I wasn't born with the skinny gene. At least you and I were both born with the awesome gene. :)
Girl. Don't do diet pills. Don't go down that road. It's a shitty one, and it makes you incredibly moody. No buenos. Get your spirits up, and find some friends to exercise with. That's the real key. You're a fabulous gal. Love ya long time.
ReplyDeleteWe are in similar places, my friend! My weight has been bothering me a lot, but I never have time to exercise so I've been getting worse and worse lately. I even had to have my gall bladder removed last year. It sucks to be in a rut, but I know you'll get better!
ReplyDeletediet pills are the worst idea. They are unhealthy (take it from someone previously addicted to diet pills/with a severe eating disorder).
ReplyDeletehave you gone to a doctor? There might be something wrong with your thyroid (or anything else related to metabolism). I think that's a good place to start. Maybe a certified RD, too.
Jen. Don't do the diet pills. Seriously, it's not even worth it. I'd definitely visit the doctor; you could have some kind of gastrointestinal or thyroid problem. And don't forget that you're awesome. Enough said. You just are.
ReplyDeletexo Josie
Job searches are never easy. Unless you're brilliant like the late Steve Jobs and start a company. Keep looking and I hope that great opportunity comes for you.
ReplyDeletexoxo,
Chic 'n Cheap Living
Congratulations on the five-year anniversary.
ReplyDeleteGlad things are slowly looking up, but sorry your weight isn't where you want it to be. Maybe try 5 small meals a day, instead of 3? I do that occasionally and find it works to an extent.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad things are looking up, five years is a real achievement in a relationship so you should be very proud.
ReplyDeleteDon't do the diet pill thing, they serious mess you up. Like the others say go to the Docs and get checked our for thyroid first. x
I think that you look beautiful, but I know it's hard when your body changes in unexpected ways.
ReplyDeleteCheryl makes a good point about getting your thyroid tested. The test might be expensive w/out insurance, but the meds are pretty reasonable.
Keep positive my love! Losing weight is one of the hardest things in the world, and muscle weighs more than fat too- best to go off of your measurements instead. A few years ago I went from a size 16 to a size 10 through eating well and exercise, it is hard to stay motivated but the results are so worth it.
ReplyDeleteLots of love
x
Yet through it all you continually make us laugh via each and every one of your posts. You will most definitely make it, Jennifer - mark my words!
ReplyDeleteP.S. I order you to rent Gilmore Girls Season 1 immediately! :P
I have to agree with Cheryl, you should see a Dr. just to make sure everything is ok. But sometimes, losing weight is just really freakishly hard. I'm sorry girl, I feel your pain.
ReplyDeletegood luck dear...i had the same issue too!!!the only secret is to start a healthy diet without being hungry...it will take more time but you will not gain the kilos again...and with patience you can make it!!!
ReplyDeletea kiss from the
cocobloggers
your putting on weight inspite of the healthy food and excercise is so similar to mine....
ReplyDeletei tried herbalife shakes for a while and it worked for me...now am off the shakes and able to maintain my weight by the routine good food and exercise...maybe you can give it a try....
I ordered these green tea vitamins on amazon for a few bucks and I like them. I've also been counting calories and I've only lost 4 pounds in 2 weeks. Good Luck, keep working on it, you can do it!
ReplyDeleteI didn't know that you have been with your BF for 5 years... congrats!
ReplyDeleteAs for the weight loss thing, the beauty of it is that it's never too late. Start working out again, keep the faith and keep at it, and I promise the pounds will come off!
xoxox,
CC
P.S. You are fabulous!
Other people have mentioned it, but look into your thyroid. It can make a girl depressed AND stop her from losing weight. It's a biggie, but pretty easily reversible.
ReplyDeleteIt's a simple blood test too. Check it out, girl! We want you healthy :)
It's good to hear that you're doing okay.
ReplyDeleteHang in there. Nothing is more frustrating than dieting/weight loss. I run 25-30 miles a week and somehow managed to put 10 pounds on AFTER the holidays.
I actually find that nothing works better than Yoga...you know, the kind where they crank the heat up to like 100 degrees and you spend the hour and a half wanting to cry. Just thinking about it right now, I want to cry.
ps. To answer your question, no, it isn't okay to wear tights with a hole. I'm not even sure why I posted that picture. Whenever I see that in real life it makes me mad....hahaha
Love you, friend. Thanks for the update. (And diet pills aren't the answer. I wish I knew what was.)
ReplyDeleteAww...Jen! I'm sorry to hear that you've been a little down. From the pictures I've seen of you, I'm going to be completely honest and say that you look gorgeous! Sometime us ladies judge ourselves a little harshly. But I have noticed that when I'm stressed I look a little more bloated. I also avoid three things in my foods: High Fructose Corn Syrup, Aspartame, and Sucralose. I need to talk about those in my blog. All of those things are directly linked to diseases and obesity. They're even found in "healthy" foods and in gum so watch out! I bought some delicious marinated pulled chicken the other day...only to find that it had corn syrup in it...ugh.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, feel better!! You're awesome and talented, so remember that next time you feel down :)
Lots of <3333
I'm sorry to hear that your weight has been a struggle- It makes me feel like maybe you should talk to a doctor to make sure there isn't something underlying going on. I feel like every lady mag I crack open has a story that sounds similar to this post. I'm rootin' for you!
ReplyDeleteWe love you and care about your well-being, you gorgeous girl! I like your personal posts the most, because I want to know about how you're doing.
ReplyDeleteAbout the weight loss - I agree that it could be a thyroid problem. PLEASE stay away from diet pills! I know a 55 year old woman who tried them once when she was 17 and now her metabolism does not work at ALL, she weighs about 200 pounds even though she eats nothing but cabbage soup and she exercises regularly! So please, please, please stay away from pills.
If you're looking to try something new, I would suggest The Kind Diet by Alicia Silverstone. It's a good read, if nothing else, and I've incorporated a few of the things into my diet (like brown rice, for example) which have made a real difference. With losing weight, everyone is different and you just have to find out what works for you - a specialist might help you find this - for me it's not snacking between meals and eating dinner really early, and of course avoiding anything fried or sweet.
We're all cheering you on!
Aww, you'll make it. I've had the same problem, re: weight, but I think my problem is getting ooooold. You, sweetheart, are still young and fabulous.
ReplyDeletegood luck with your effort to lose weight. you have to drink lots of water and check out your thyroid. it's often the reason we gain or can't lose weight.. don't give up trying
ReplyDeleteMy friend had the same problem but we later discovered she's been cheating with a stash of junk food at nights! My cousin used the cleansing diet, and lost 10 pounds -- but I agree with everyone here, I would recommend going to the doctor & definitely staying away from those diet pills!
ReplyDeleteGood to know you're feeling better.
ReplyDeleteReg the weight, I've been battling those pounds since Jan 1st as well. Maybe we can exchange diet recalls and do this together.
DO NOT take diet pills. Those things are nasty.
Oh god that sucks! I have other friends who have told me of similar situations. Cheryl's right about the thyroid, you should get it checked.
ReplyDeleteI tried drinking green tea for a few months and NOTHING happened. But what does help to an extend is a glass of warm water with lime and honey every morning. I've been doing this for 4-5 months now and I think its good. Also, I've read from many people that Apple cider vinegar helps too, as long as you can stand the smell and taste. Well I have good metabolism and I dont work out at all and indulge in cakes n chocolates often BUT I've had a broken foot for 3 weeks and need to wear the cast for 3 more and in depression I've been eating loads of chocolates everyday so I'm scared of putting on weight too :(
xx
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