Let's Play with Barbie!

The other week, I had so much fun with those Barbie posts, I decided to go hang out with my old dolls.

I spent an hour in my parents' attic reacquainting myself with my former friends.

Let me introduce you to them:

This is Barbie, of course. When I first met Barbie, she was a flight attendant. But she has since lost her plane, making her job quite useless in Jennyland. So, for the past 20 years, she has mostly spent her time shopping with her besties and marrying her boyfriend over and over again.

These are Barbie's close friends, riding in front of her Dream House in their vintage 1989 pink convertible. Hope, on the left, was a hip-hop musician from NYC when we first met in 1991. Bridget, on the right, was a cheerleader when we met the same year.

This is Barbie's cousin, Malibu. When we first met in 1989, Malibu was an aspiring swimsuit model. But these days, she's a fashion blogger.

Do you like her outfit shot?

And here is Barbie's best friend, Jasmine. Isn't she gorgeous with her long shiny hair?! When we first met in 1993, Jasmine was a spoiled Arabian princess. She still acts like one.

Last but not least, here is Barbie with her boyfriend, Ken. He was a lifeguard when we met in 1990, and even though he has since retired from the career, he still spends most of his time lounging around the pool.

Holy slutballs! I turn my back for one minute and Jasmine is already letting Ken whisper sweet nothings in her ear! How could she do this to her best friend?!

And when Barbie catches them in the act, Jasmine still can't keep the smirk off her face. That dirty bitch! This friendship is OVER.

Without hesitation, Barbie kicks Jasmine to the ground and stomps on her, barefoot. That's what happens when you're a backstabbing, boyfriend-stealing hoe-bag!

Jasmine is so wrought with guilt, she seeks comfort in the arms of a priest, who is more than willing to oblige.

...fin.

(Have a great weekend!)