Best-dressed Bitches

Rian and I recently finished watching every season of Dynasty.



Several months ago, we got the first season of the outrageous 1980s mega-drama as a joke. We thought we'd share a good laugh over it.

By the second episode, the giggles had ceased and we sat stone-faced in front of the television, hands clenched, hearts racing with anticipation.



It's a really, really good show. Cheesy. Melodramatic. Addictive.

And the fashion. Dear god, the fashion.



The show revolves around oil tycoon Blake Carrington and his beautiful sweet-as-pie second wife, Krystle. They live in a sprawling Denver mansion with his adult children.



The premise to the show is very basic: Blake's ex-wife Alexis, who owns another major oil company, is out to destroy him.



Seriously. That's the entire plot to the show, from the first to last episode. You know, like Tom & Jerry. And just like the cat and mouse cartoon show, it's endlessly entertaining!



Like any good soap operas, there are murders and kidnappings and evil twins and scandalous affairs and cat fights.



But the main reason to watch the show is because of it's jaw-dropping fashion. The style from the show was so iconic, it defined the decade.



And Joan Collins, who plays the ex-wife Alexis, is the star of the show in that respect. Draped in the hottest fashion of the time, the stunningly beautiful scorned woman playfully exchanges witty banter and backstabs everyone around her with poisonous verbal daggers.



Dynasty is basically a giant 1980s fashion show, featuring Joan Collins wearing gigantic sequined gowns, futuristic shoulder-padded power suits, massive wide-brimmed hats, and glamorous Hollywood-drenched fur stoles.



Her costumes were created by the legendary costume designer Nolan Miller, who was provided $35,000 a week to come up the lavish ensembles.



The over-the-top wardrobe complimented the over-the-top character like a skin-tight satin glove.

Of course, Joan Collins was not the only style icon from the show.

Linda Evans, who played Alexis' nemesis, Krystle, portrayed a more sophisticated, and less flashy, style.



Her country club attire consisted of cozy fur coats, sleek gowns, and ritzy, yet casual, jackets.

Heather Locklear, who starred as Krystle's gold-digging niece, had a deliciously tacky wardrobe, which highlighted her cheap, standoffish personality.



Look at that hair!

The fashion from the show was so famous, it inspired a Barbie line and sewing patterns.





As usual, here is my little polyvore tribute. I hope you like it.

So what do you think? Do you like Dynasty fashion?

A Fabulous Mind

 

If scientists ever found a way to look inside my dreams, this is what they would see.

I'm sorry for not being around these past few days. It was the busiest week of my life. Now, I'm going out of town for a week.

Stay fabulous while I'm gone. Don't forget me! XOXO

Let's Play with Barbie!

The other week, I had so much fun with those Barbie posts, I decided to go hang out with my old dolls.

I spent an hour in my parents' attic reacquainting myself with my former friends.

Let me introduce you to them:

This is Barbie, of course. When I first met Barbie, she was a flight attendant. But she has since lost her plane, making her job quite useless in Jennyland. So, for the past 20 years, she has mostly spent her time shopping with her besties and marrying her boyfriend over and over again.

These are Barbie's close friends, riding in front of her Dream House in their vintage 1989 pink convertible. Hope, on the left, was a hip-hop musician from NYC when we first met in 1991. Bridget, on the right, was a cheerleader when we met the same year.

This is Barbie's cousin, Malibu. When we first met in 1989, Malibu was an aspiring swimsuit model. But these days, she's a fashion blogger.

Do you like her outfit shot?

And here is Barbie's best friend, Jasmine. Isn't she gorgeous with her long shiny hair?! When we first met in 1993, Jasmine was a spoiled Arabian princess. She still acts like one.

Last but not least, here is Barbie with her boyfriend, Ken. He was a lifeguard when we met in 1990, and even though he has since retired from the career, he still spends most of his time lounging around the pool.

Holy slutballs! I turn my back for one minute and Jasmine is already letting Ken whisper sweet nothings in her ear! How could she do this to her best friend?!

And when Barbie catches them in the act, Jasmine still can't keep the smirk off her face. That dirty bitch! This friendship is OVER.

Without hesitation, Barbie kicks Jasmine to the ground and stomps on her, barefoot. That's what happens when you're a backstabbing, boyfriend-stealing hoe-bag!

Jasmine is so wrought with guilt, she seeks comfort in the arms of a priest, who is more than willing to oblige.

...fin.

(Have a great weekend!)

The Barbie Sartorialist

I swear this is not turning into a Barbie blog (okay, it might be) but I have encountered a new obsession.

During my research last week, I stumbled upon a website that has stolen my pink, fabulous, Barbie-sex doll drenched heart.

It is called Tiny Frock Shop.

This online boutique offers vintage designer clothing for Barbie, the ultimate fashion icon.

This delicious site is run by Pamela Thompson, the former Head Fashion Designer at Betsey Johnson and current designer for Anna Sui. She's been recently coined the "Sartorialist of Barbie" and her resale Barbie clothing and accessories website has been making headlines all over the world.

The shop features manufactured and handmade Barbie clothes and accessories from the 1940's and up.

The most fabulous part about the site is that all the dolls featured in high fashion editorials on Tiny Frock Shop have their own model profiles. They are so fun to read and insanely adorable! I spent my entire morning engrossed in each one.

Plus, the website has a blog with behind-the-scenes footage of the fashion photo shoots. It's so cute I wanna pass out. Seriously. I'm on the floor, hyperventilating, right now.

Did you know about this website?!?

Barbie Who?

Several of you mentioned the other day that Valeria, the Russian dingbat from my last post, reminded you more of a sex doll rather than Barbie.

Well, did you know Barbie was based on a sex toy?

I came across this information while at a toy museum a few years ago. The museum was having a special Barbie exhibit, to celebrate the 100th anniversary of the doll.

Imagine my surprise, when I discovered Barbie was well...a rip-off.

This is the original Barbie Doll from 1959.

This is the Lilli doll, a popular German sex toy, in 1950.

Lilli was an immensely popular cartoon character in Germany during 1950s. The blonde, baby-faced 20-something-year-old secretary was sassy, brazen, materialistic, and vain. She slept with men for expensive meals and handbags. She played dumb when challenged by authority. Male readers loved her.

The magazine which ran the Lilli comic strip decided to make a doll out of its famous sex symbol. The doll was created with a racy hour-glass figure and a sexy red pout. She wore cute little night club clothes. The sex toy was sold at adult stores and tobacco shops as a gag gift.

But the lecherous men who enjoyed the comic strip could have cared less about the doll. To the magazine's astonishment, the Lilli doll became a sensation among little girls. They adored buying new clothes for Lilli and brushing her golden locks.

But parents didn't like going to sex shops to buy their daughters' favorite new toy, so the doll started being sold everywhere. Accessories, clothes, and doll houses were also made available.

In the mid-1950s, Ruth Handler, the wife of a Mattel co-founder, took a trip to Germany with her daughters. She spotted the Lilli doll and bought a few to take home. In 1959, she debuted her new teenage fashion doll Barbie to the American public.

It would become the most famous toy in the world.

Did you know about Barbie's German predecessor, Lilli?