Guest Post: There is a War in Heaven...?

What can I say about my next guest blogger? It's hard to put into words how much I adore Blaze Taylorr. She's sweet, cool, intelligent, thoughtful, and um, AMAZING! Not to mention, she has the cutest blog around. We've been blog friends for a very long time now, so I'm ecstatic she's giving me a guest post. I hope her topic gives you something to ponder this weekend. Enjoy!



(This topic came up during the reading of Paradise Lost in my 12th grade British Literature class.)

Paradise Lost is an epic poem written by John Milton in the 17th century. He compared the turmoil going on in England to Lucifer being cast out of Heaven with his other rebel angels. He hoped that a great literary work would bring his people together. Keep in mind that Milton was almost completely blind when he wrote this masterpiece (which I think is totally awesome... Not that he was blind but that even despite his condition he could inspire others. :)

Our teacher asked us if we really believed the story of Adam and Eve, when Eve picked the fruit off the forbidden tree and they were cast out of The Garden of Eden. Obviously, being the Christian that I am, instantly said, of course I believe it. Why wouldn't I? She replied with a "it's not true". And it really made me think, what is really true about the Bible. Don't get me wrong, I do believe in the Bible, but not all that it teaches us. God didn't write the Bible, other people did like Ezra or Moses. Even if their stories were true, the Bible has been translated and most likely tampered with after all these centuries. Anyone could have put whatever they wanted or believed in, in the Bible.



Another point that was made in my class discussion was that there is a war going on in Heaven. Key word here is in Heaven. My teacher stated that there are angels still trying to get all the power God has. Just like Lucifer had attempted to. I am strongly against this because if the angels were trying to get the power God has, wouldn't they be cast out just like Lucifer? My teacher replied with, well God gets tired of doing the same thing over and over. He gets tired? So since we're doing so bad down here, with the wars, rape, domestic abuse, murders, robberies, lying, cheating, etc, wouldn't God have killed us all and just started over again? No, because God is love. He gives us all fair chances and we will be judged accordingly. I guess this is where all the movies come in with the world ending. However, there can't be war in Heaven. Heaven, God, Jesus, and all the angels is the ultimate representation of good, and Lucifer, his rebel angels, and hell is the ultimate representation of bad. So the world, since we are in the middle of both realms, is where the war is being fought. We have the free will of choice, whether to do good or bad. There is a constant war over our souls. Should I lie to my mother today? Should I go to work or school? Should I punch this person because they pissed me off. These are only a few situations in which we have to chose the good side, or the bad. And that is where the war is. Satan believes if he gets enough of us on his side, he still has a chance to overturn God. Which will never happen, God is what gives us breath and life and everything we have.

God is power and all things good.

PS. Don't forget to check out Blaze Taylorr!

What's your poison?

I normally don't drink alcohol right after getting out of bed. But today is an exception.

It's 10 a.m. on a Wednesday morning, I'm unemployed, I feel like shit, and I'm fabulous.

I need a fucking drink. Right now.

I contemplated my usual gin & tonic, or perhaps a vodka on the rocks, or maybe a cosmo. But I decided I had enough ingredients to get creative, so I looked online for recipes.

Ummm...not all drink recipes are good. Sometimes you can tell just by looking at the ingredients something is going to be a disaster.

Below, I have listed a few of the most unappealing cocktails I came across. I finally decided on a screwdriver (seems more appropriate for the a.m.), so I won't be having any of these. But you can if you want! Hahaha!

Enjoy!



(Note: These are REAL. People actually drink these concoctions)


McDonalds To Go!

The Whiskeyburger

(Journalists at Esquire magazine came up with this mixed drink, which became quite popular amongst their staff. It supposedly tastes like an actual hamburger.)

Stir well with cracked ice:

3 oz ground-chuck-infused whiskey
2 tsp tomato syrup
1/4 tsp mustard bitters

Strain into small old-fashioned glass or cocktail glass. Top off with lettuce-onion foam* and garnish with a dill-pickle round.


Like cough syrup??

Robitussin

(This is an extremely popular drink, found on countless drink sites. Apparently people love the taste of this medicine...)

1 1/2 oz. Cherry Vodka
1 1/2 oz. Root Beer Schnapps

Stir, best without the rocks. Tastes just like the real thing.


Health nut?

The Lawnmower

(This drink was actually conceptualized by Homer Simpson on an episode of the Simpsons. It has since become a legitimate drink.)

1 Part vodka
1 Part Wheatgrass Juice

Mix 1 part freshly squeezed wheatgrass juice and 1 part vodka into a shot glass and shoot


The Worst of the Worst

Hemorrhoid Fever

(I found this one here. I'm...speechless.)

4 oz Bourbon
18 oz 180 proof Vodka
7 oz Blueberry Schnapps
6 cubes Beef Bouillon
1 stick Butter

Throw all ingredients into a blender, add ice to taste, mix and chill, serve.


So...yummy?

My Christmas List (Scrooge Style)

I don't understand people who like Christmas.

It's not because I'm against it or because I practice another religion, it's more like I've never really known a life where Christmas spirit exists.

I'm not particularly religious, I have no extended family members or friends who visit, I have no desire to stuff my fat body with more food, and I hate snow.

Oh, and holidays with my parents aren't exactly...jolly.

For 26 years, I have usually spent the day listening to my parents fight over everything (my mom's cooking, their bad choice of gifts for each other, which neighborhood church to crash for Christmas service, etc.).

When I was little, I used to stare out our living room window at the happy families across the street enjoying Christmas magic. In their living room windows, I could see children, parents, and grandparents glowing with joyful smiles, admiring a beautifully lit tree, and hugging each other. It all seemed so cozy and sweet, compared to what I had to endure. I compensated my unhappiness by playing with the fabulous, elaborate presents my father would buy me. (The ONLY benefit of being an only child in an upper-middle class family).

But these days I don't even have the presents to comfort me.

My dad stopped giving me Christmas and birthday presents four years ago. (My punishment for dating a guy he doesn't like). My mom, bless her heart, gives me the same bath spray which has been piling up in my linen closet for the past five years. It has been a really long time since I've exchanged decent presents with anyone.

Well, I am so beaten down and penniless this year, that I have gone beyond wanting material things for Christmas (or my birthday, which is two days later).

Here is MY grown-up Christmas list. If I can just get ONE of these things, life will be a little happier this holiday season.

1. If you know me personally (i.e. a facebook friend, a real friend, or, I don't know, you conceived me) don't ask me every single day if I have found a job yet. Believe me, when I find a job, you will be the FIRST PERSON TO KNOW. There will be facebook statuses about my new job. There will be a blog post about my new job. I will call you to tell you the news. I will e-mail you. Chances are, you will be sick of hearing about my new job. Please stop asking, because every time you ask me, I die a little inside. It reminds me that I pretty much suck as a person. Thanks.

2. Dear Frat Boy Who Lives in the Apartment Across From Me: Please close your window and/or shut your blinds at night. I am SO TIRED of glancing outside my bedroom window and catching you masturbate to internet porn. Again. With the lights on. Because next time, I will video you and put it on youtube and tag your name to it. Not kidding.

3. I would really appreciate it if my hand could stop grabbing food and my mouth could stop chewing it. This midnight snacking is getting kind of ridiculous. Put down the fucking goldfish crackers! ABORT! ABORT! SPIT OUT NOW! No, do NOT swallow. Nooooo!...somebody please tazer me next time.

4. If you love me, at least laugh at my jokes once in a while. Humor is all I have going for me right now. My looks are fading. My figure has expanded. My intelligence left a long time ago. Could you...at least pretend? I'll take a fake laugh over a blank stare at this point.

5. Be nice to to me. Don't cut me off in traffic because I'm only going five over the speed limit. Don't expect me to bend over backwards for you for the millionth time when you won't even return the favor. Don't ignore me while I'm pouring my heart out to you. Please, just be nice.

I could go on forever, but I'll spare you.

I don't think Santa can bring me these presents...

Oh, and for those of you who skimmed over this post because you either don't care or you don't want to leave your happy Christmas bubble (and I really don't blame you), here is a photo of a Christmas puppy to stare at. Enjoy!

'Tamara Drewe'

Last night, Rian and I accidentally ended up seeing a really cute movie. We were late for the showing of 127 Hours and 'Tamara Drewe' happened to be the next show playing.

Reluctantly, we saw it. It couldn't have been a more perfect mistake!

The British film centers around newspaper reporter Tamara Drewe (Gemma Arterton) who used to be the ugly duckling in the Dorset village of Ewedown. Now, all grown up and with the help of plastic surgery, she returns to her hometown as a gorgeous bombshell. Her arrival turns the tiny village upside down as she gains a following of lovesick suitors.



The film is a bit racy, a tad sad, and a lot of fun. The story centers around the different people living in the town, which I thought was kind of cool. It made me feel as though I lived in the town and was simply observing all the hilarity firsthand.



The interesting storyline and gorgeous scenery are what make this film awesome.

My favorite characters were two silly 15-year-old school girls who innocently cause mischief throughout the film. The two actresses, Charlotte Christie and Jessica Barden, definitely stole the show. Their acting was very believable and they had some of the most hilarious scenes and quotes in the film. Rian also thought they were hysterical, but only because they reminded him of me and Kerrie.



Another great character was Ben, the ridiculous indie rock star, played brilliantly by Dominic Cooper.



While I really enjoyed the movie, I kind of felt like there was something lacking in Tamara. There was a really good back story that could have been used better. There were issues I thought should be addressed more, in order for the audience to feel really sympathetic for the newly-turned beauty. I don't know if it was Gemma's acting, or the filmmakers' decisions, but Tamara was a complex character that seemed frustratingly one-dimensional throughout the film.



Another character I would have liked to known more about was Andy, the hot gardner, played by Luke Evans. Although he played a key role in the film, his acting was so static and his character was so cardboard cut-out, he simply could have been an extra.



But overall, I thought the film was adorable and insightful. I definitely recommend it, whether it be at the movie theater or through netflix.

Oh, and interesting fact: The film is actually based on a graphic novel of the same name.



I don't really pay much attention to graphic novels, as I enjoy reading without illustrations, but this fact really opened my eyes. It kind of makes me want to get the graphic novel to see if I can learn more about the background of Tamara.

Do you guys read graphic novels? What movies have you seen recently?

Gentlemen Prefer Blondes

When I was a teenager, I was obsessed with Marilyn Monroe. I bought all her movies. I had posters of her. I had her Barbie Dolls. I owned five biographies about her, and knew most of her life by heart. I even had a Marilyn Monroe license plate for my car!

Recently, I have moved on to other idols, but I still keep Marilyn close to my heart. I still watch my Marilyn movie collection every so often. I have my Marilyn Barbies nostalgically placed in a china cabinet in my bedroom. I have her posters lining my closet wall. I have a an awesome collection of Marilyn Monroe wine adorning my kitchen bar.

Last night, I watched one of my favorite movies, "Gentlemen Prefer Blondes," which I hadn't seen for a few years. I was kind of startled because I forgot how much I adored the fashion in the movie. When I think of fashion-inspiring films, I normally think about ones starring Audrey or Grace. After all, while Marilyn is a beauty icon in Hollywood, I never really considered her a fashion legend.

But this film changed my mind.

Here are some of my favorite outfits from the movie:













And of course, the famous pink dress every girl wishes she owned...



See what I mean? Fabulous fashion at its best!

I was so inspired by this movie, I actually created a polyvore. I have not made a polyvore in years, so this is kind of a big deal. Haha.

Diamonds by Jenniferb02 featuring a pink hat

I highly suggest you see "Gentlemen Prefer Blondes" if you have not done so already. The film captures the Hollywood glamour of the golden years and Marilyn's magnetism will bewitch you. Oh, and there are diamonds. Lots of them. Need I say more?

My Awkward Songs

I am a child of the 90s.

In the early 90s, I was an elementary school student obsessed with Mariah Carey, in the mid-90s, I was middle schooler who was the most faithful Spice Girl fan EVER, and in the late 90s, as a high schooler, I got to meet my new idol, Britney Spears when she came to our mall for an autograph signing.

In the middle of all this awesomeness, I encountered some random, now mostly forgotten pop songs which impacted my adolescence.

This is my life, told with each bittersweet, horribly bad song.

Enjoy.

"Gangsta's Paradise"
Coolio



I performed this song with a straight face during a middle school talent show in 1995. It didn't take me very long to memorize the lyrics, since the song was played on the radio every half hour. It was my attempt at dry humor and I was pleased to see it worked. It received more laughter and applause than my 5th grade mime performance, where I dressed up as Marilyn Monroe and chased invisible balloons around stage for five minutes. And that act had been a solid hit!


"Don't Let Go (What's it Gonna Be?)"
En Vogue



When I discovered I was moving to the cornfields of Nebraska from the sunny beaches of southern Florida in 1996, I was devastated. I loved my life in Tampa, plus, I had already established an almost-boyfriend, Frankie. (An almost-boyfriend is a big deal for a 12-year-old.) Frankie and I had met at the back-to-school dance, where I taught him the precise steps to the Macarena. Later that night, we slow danced to a couple of Boyz II Men songs. It was magical. Well, as a sweet and sorrowful goodbye present, Frankie gave me the tape single for Don't Let Go. He said it was our song. At the time I thought it was sweet, but now I just think it was creepy. Especially after seeing the music video and actually listening to the lyrics.


"Your Woman"
White Town



When I was 13, I didn't know what this song meant. Now at 26, and after seeing this perplexing music video, I still don't know what it means. But when I was in eighth grade, this song played on the radio EVERY TEN MINUTES. Nobody knew what it meant, but they loved it, apparently. To this day, when I hear this song on one of those "gen x" radio stations, I get the most vivid memories of driving with my parents to Wal-Mart or carpooling with my neighbor, Katie, to school. It's amazing how much a stupid song can create such strong flashbacks...


"Ditty"
Paperboy



This song is from 1993. But it didn't influence my life until 2001. I was hanging out with my best friend, Jeff, and we decided to take a road trip to Cleveland, Ohio, one weekend. He made a mixed tape for me and played it while we were on the road. When this song came on, he had me pull over, and this was the soundtrack to one of the most romantic moments of my life. During this song, Jeff professed that was deeply in love with me and wanted us to get married and have children once we graduated high school. He said he already had our house picked out. Well, once the fall of 2002 came, Jeff and I went to different colleges. He headed to NYU and I went to journalism school out west. But distance isn't what has kept us from rekindling our love: Jeff came out of the closet in 2006.


Oh, and as a bonus, I've included the Spice World trailer. I'll never forget where I was when I saw this trailer for the first time. I was with my sister, Jenn, at some now-forgotten Leonardo DiCaprio movie and we almost fainted with the fabulousness. Unfortunately, by the time the film actually made it to theaters in Nebraska, Spice Girl mania had died somewhat and we ended up being the only people in the theater opening weekend.

Guest Post: Water Marbling Nail Polish Technique

To make sure you have a fabulous weekend, I am leaving you with an awesome guest blogger, Amber. Not only is she beautiful, stylish, and clever, but Amber also happens to be an amazing friend. Her fashion blog, Amber's Mouthwash, has been one of my favorite reads for a very long time. Enjoy her guest post and then go check out her blog!


For Jennifer Fabulous' blog, I wanted to do something just as unique and fabulous as she is. I decided what could be better than something that is never the same twice? As a self professed nail polish fiend, I want to show you one of my favorite polish techniques: The Water-marbling Technique. It's as beautiful as it is unique and bound to attract compliments.

For those of you who are hearing about this technique for the first time, you are in for treat! While it can be a bit of a clean up, the pay off it well worth it - you won't be able to stop admiring your artwork. Even those who are artistically inclined will be masters. I have been stopped in malls by complete strangers who want to know where I got my nails done. If you are seeking for ways to break up your manicure routine, this is the perfect solution. Enjoy and have fun!



TIPS:
*While dark and bright colors work best, a solid white creates some amazing effects.
*The matte polish I used turned out great - too bad I put a top coat on to seal everything else....
* If you don't want to spend about 20 minutes cleaning up around your nails, do this before you plan on taking a shower. The steam will lift the excess polish right off.
*Sometimes waiting until the polish film dries and then dipping your nail makes for really cool "lightening streaks" across the nail. Very cool.

Remember, there is no "right" way to do this! Have fun with it!

*Fun Fact* the yellow polish pictured in the film is now: in my carpet, on my November Vogue, Bridal planning book, bank receipt and headband. Too bad I didn't catch it on camera.







And that's it! Let me know what you think - I hope you try it too! I would love to see your results!!

Thank you for allowing me to guest write on your blog Jennifer! Such a cool idea!