Hollywood Time Machine

Have you ever wondered what would have happened if certain celebrities had been alive in a different time period?

Welcome to my parallel universe, where these fantasies have come true.

You're welcome.

1933

When Britney Jean Spears was 16, she ran away from her small hometown in Louisiana and hopped on the first train to New York City. She wanted to be rich, famous, and beautiful.

With her pretty face and extensive ballet training, the Southern teenager didn't have trouble finding work. She soon became a well-known showgirl on the Broadway scene.

But, Britney was too ambitious to be a showgirl. In her mid-20s, when producers were hinting she was getting too old for the job, she started to look for other work. She tried performing as a sultry songstress in nightclubs, but found her mediocre voice couldn't compete with all the other talent.

Plus, her life was a bit of a mess. Her wealthy ex-husband was a cold-hearted gangster who had caught her cheating on him with his right-hand man. He killed her lover, and Britney was terrified she would be next. She was constantly frightened his thugs were watching her every move. She became an emotional, mental, and paranoid wreck. Her fragile state, along with her now-tarnished reputation, ruined her career.

By 1940, she had completely disappeared. Did the mafia kill her? Or, did she go into hiding for the rest of her life? Nobody knows.


1943

Growing up bi-racial in the early part of the 20th century was a struggle that made Alicia Keys strong. She grew up in a poor household, raised by her single mother, a struggling actress. In order to deal with the prejudice and pain inflicted upon her life, she turned to music. She was a child prodigy on the piano, and had a breathtaking voice.

When Alicia was 17, she was performing at a hole-in-the-wall jazz club in Harlem, when a music producer arrived. He was immediately blown away by the gorgeous singer, and realized she could be a major star.

At first, his colleagues dissuaded him against the move, telling him it was impossible to market an African-American singer to the masses. But, the music producer ignored them. Alicia's first record became an international best-seller and she toured the world, performing at the most prestigious venues. She even appeared as a nightclub singer in a few major Hollywood films.

By the time Alicia turned 80, she was an established Hollywood legend, even earning an honorary Grammy Award in 2003, presented by a beaming Whitney Houston.


1953

The daughter of a 1920s silent film star, Angelina Jolie always knew she wanted to make a name for herself in lights. With her exotic features and undeniable talent, she was given her first leading role at 20.

Five years later, she had become the biggest movie star in the world. But, her personal life started to overshadow her films. Already married three times, Angelina had also been named "the other woman" in a whopping 17 divorce lawsuits. There were also rumors that she was a lesbian with Marlene Dietrich. At the age of 27, she made international headlines by marrying the dashing movie star George Clooney.

During their honeymoon in France, Angelina was found shot dead in her hotel suite. The incident turned the world upside down, with movie fans around the world tossing out theories. Did a scorned ex-wife from her past murder her? Rumors started swirling that George was really a closeted homosexual and had been using Angelina for her money, since he was secretly on the brink of bankruptcy, due to gambling debt. Had his lover killed her? Or, did George kill her in the midst of a lover's quarrel? The answer is still unknown and today remains one of the biggest Hollywood mysteries, having been the premise for dozens of films, books, and television shows.

In 1999, Julia Roberts won a Best Actress Academy Award for playing Angelina in the critically acclaimed film about the murder, "Kiss of Death."


1963

Her name was simply Adele. Nobody knew her story. Had she been a street urchin, raised in the mucky sewers of London? Or the youngest daughter of a wealthy earl? She simply just appeared one day, as a glamorous and beautiful superstar. She never spoke about her past in interviews.

Her soulful songs were played on the radio. She performed for presidents and kings. Countless magazines, such as Good Housekeeping, continually had stories on how to obtain Adele's perfect sexy curves. Pill advertisements claimed to pack on the pounds, so any housewife could have the Adele hourglass figure. After all, no American housewife wanted to be a stick!

Her personal life was just as mysterious as her persona. She was photographed getting cozy with oil tycoons, American senators, and even handsome movie stars.

But the weight of fame and failed relationships was too much for the curvy singer to handle. Her mournful songs could no longer heal her pain. She turned to alcohol. By 1968, she was chugging back five to six dry martinis per day. Her curvy figure started to bloat until she became practically unrecognizable. In 1970, she was found unresponsive in her estate in the English countryside.


1973

A socialite who always made the gossip columns, Nicole Ritchie quickly shot to fame as a major style icon of the 1970s.

Details about her wild parties with John Lennon, Mick Jagger, and Andy Warhol were devoured by fans all over the world. She was so famous, she even started her own clothing line, so the average teenage girl in Des Moines could have the same bohemian flair in her closet.

Before long, Nicole was a millionaire, and seemed to be on top of the world. But what people didn't know was that her rock n' roll friends had introduced her to a dangerous lifestyle. She was snorting cocaine, popping prescription pills, and dissolving LSD on her tongue. She was addicted to drugs, but nobody thought to seek her help since, well, they were addicted too.

In 1981, Nicole almost died of a drug overdose. She was rushed to the hospital and saved and immediately placed in rehab. Unfortunately, with the changing 1980s fashion, her bohemian clothing line went bankrupt.

In 1985, the former hippie queen decided to turn her life around. She started writing health cookbooks and selling them on infomercials. She wrote a best-selling memoir, detailing her affairs with rock legends. She married a yoga instructor and had two children, and never did drugs again.

Today, she can still be seen on talk shows, promoting her latest boho-inpsired jewelry line.


What do you think of my stories? Which one do you like best?