My New Year's Resolutions

Looking back, 2009 was probably one of the worst years of my life. But I suppose it wasn’t all bad. I managed not to get arrested, get knocked up, or lose my job. So to be fair, it wasn’t a major disaster.

I’m hoping that 2010 will be a great year though. I don’t want to sound selfish, but I really feel like I deserve some happiness. I’ve been so unhappy for so long. I want something good to happen. But I know for something good to happen, I have to make some changes.

Here are my New Years Resolutions for 2010:

Lose 20 pounds (Sadly, a lot of you informed me a while back that there was NO magic body fat eraser. So, this means I will be making changes to my diet and establishing an exercise routine, even if it means walking up and down my apartment stairs 100 times a day).

Find happiness in my career (I am no longer happy in my current position. Unfortunately, this means I will have to find a new job or simply quit my job and find another way to supplement my income, such as marrying James Franco or winning the lottery).

Make new friends (but keep the old).

Learn how to put on makeup (seriously).

Clean out my junk (I have boxes and piles of stuff that I need to organize or throw away).

Be a good shopaholic (I will only buy clothes/shoes/accessories/handbags/jewelry that I will wear often and that is a decent bargain)

Practice optimism (Part of becoming happy is pretending you are happy until you really are happy. Not in the disillusioned kind of way, but I want to see the good out of the bad at least. I really need to work on that. I tend to make a tragedy out of something that is simply dismal).

Have shiny, soft hair that bounces when I walk (not sure how the hell that is going to happen, but I will try dammit!)

Gain more confidence (I currently hate myself so I’m always surprised when someone else likes me).

Save up money for cool things (fancy phone, new laptop, car, etc.)

Get my facebook back! (*sobbing*)


Happy New Year! What are your resolutions?

Kerrie Lovely

I don't like to brag, but I have the most fabulous friends ever. If you have been following my blog long enough, you know about my sister Jenny Benny and my bff Jonny.

There have been a million posts about my bff/sister/soulmate/twin Kerrie. But she deserves a tribute too, dammit! Haha.

We recently went to the carnival.


(me)


(Kerrie)

While we were riding the carousel, it occurred to me that I probably would not have survived the past few years without her by my side. I think she would say the same about me. We have both been through so much. Crazy boyfriends, girls after our boyfriends, stalkers, Morrissey, wild parties, obsessive shopping sprees, passing-out-in-the-middle-of-a-busy-street, etc.

I doubt 2010 will be much different.

To put it all into one post would be absolutely insane. It would be the longest post in the history of blogging.

So, here are a few of my favorite Kerrie and Jenny moments from 2009.

Enjoy!

"What the hell are you girls doing?!."

This photo was taken in an Urban Outfitters dressing room just moments before some bitch employee kicked us out. Apparently cigarettes and cameras aren't allowed in dressing rooms anymore?? But that takes all the fun out of things! Oh well. This was also the day we each purchased our second pairs of Jimmy Choos!!


"Will you marry me?"

Those two guys in the photo may not seem that important to you, but those Brits were actually our ONE degree of separation from the sex god Morrissey. Yes, those were his roadies! There were about ten of them. They singled us out and invited us to spend a few (six) hours in their tour bus after the concert. After several beers we not only learned everything we could have wanted to know about Moz, but we even received marriage proposals from a couple of his (young, cute, not-pictured) back up musicians. You can read the whole story here.


"I'm swimming in a size two!"

Kerrie and I tend to have parallel lives and similar problems. And sometimes we have completely opposite problems that result in the same frustrations. For instance, Kerrie lost 20 pounds in 2009 and I gained 20 pounds in 2009. We both literally could not fit into 90 percent of our closets anymore. It was humorous (for her) and sad (for me).


"Can I buy you girls a drink?"

We had been sitting at the Oak Room on a warm summer night when a polished young man approached us and offered to buy us drinks. He ravished us with adjectives about our beauty and then invited us to a party. Everything was going fine until his girlfriend showed up. Haha.


"And the winner is..."

Kerrie and I spend many Friday nights at wild parties downtown. After a few bottles glasses of champagne one night, Kerrie and I ended up the center of attention at one party last summer. Kerrie dragged me on stage during the concert and we danced for a crowd of thousands. Afterward, we took our dance moves to a street dance contest where we competed against seven other girls. I'm not sure how it happened but the audience chose me as the winner with Kerrie coming in at a close second. All I won were a pair of panties...and my pride.



"I'm going to jump the train, Jenny!"


For a long time, Kerrie and I have been living hobo-chic. In other words, we hang out by the railroad tracks downtown, dressed up in our finest designer clothing, and drink champagne and eat pink sparkly cake. It takes a certain degree of confidence to mingle with real-life hobos while wearing Prada heels and a Nanette Lepore jacket.



"I can't believe we've been together for 12 hours and I'm still not sick of you."


This is actually a vintage photo of Kerrie & me from a few years ago. I think it was the day we decided we were best friends. We spent the entire day together (8 a.m. to midnight). We went to the mall where we received Chanel makeovers, we went vintage hat shopping, we spent $200 at the fanciest French restaurant in town, and then we snuck into The Nutcracker premiere at a theater downtown.


And here are our best friends rings (matching owl rings from Forever 21)



I'm so lucky to have Kerrie in my life. Isn't she fabulous?

A Fabulous Birthday

Today is my birthday!

This is a photo of me (and my mom) when I was a baby.


This is a photo of me now.


Have I changed much?

They say a lady never reveals her age, so I'm not going to tell you. Let's just say I am no longer 25 but I am younger than 27.

Today my parents are taking me to a movie and then to one of the nicest French restaurants in town. Hopefully that will all go stress-free.

Tomorrow, Rian is taking me out to a fancy seafood restaurant to celebrate. I am definitely looking forward to that!

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas.

I was snowned in with my parents for two nights because of a blizzard that hit my city. All the streets were shut down. I watched movies in pajamas for most of the time, and the other part was spent getting drunk with my mom.

Santa was kind to me, which was nice. I got Confessions of a Shopaholic on DVD, a pair of silver earrings, two cocktail rings, and some Victoria's Secret underwear (haha). And then my mom and Rian got together and bought me a really cool digital camera! Yay!

I hope you all have a lovely day!

Merry Christmas

I hope you all have a snuggly and cozy Christmas this year. xoxo

Life without Facebook

Four days without Facebook and it feels like an eternity.

I've e-mailed them twice about the incident, hoping they will restore my profile, but I have not heard anything. I guess I just have to be patient. It is the holidays, after all. I might not hear anything until the new year perhaps...

It's bizarre.

I have had my facebook for five years and checked it every single day. I didn't realize how much a part of my life facebook was until it was gone.

I find myself going to the computer and typing my username, only to remember what happened. It's just instinct.

And now I'm not quite sure what to do with my free time.

There is nobody to poke. No witty status update to write. No photos to upload. No walls to write on.

I feel like I'm standing outside of society. It makes me uneasy that I don't know what my cousins did over the weekend or what new band my best friend in Milwaukee is listening to or what that kid from my high school biology class ate for breakfast.

I'm so used to knowing these little trivial things about people that it feels wrong not to know anymore.

I don't think I am the only one who feels this way. Our generation revolves around Facebook and other social networking sites in a way. It's how we communicate with each other, it's how we learn more about each other, it's how we meet each other, and it's how we feel confident about ourselves. Our profile is our mirror and our number of friends makes us feel more popular, even though in reality about 85 percent of those people are basically former acquaintances.

I can't even remember what life was like without facebook. What did I do with my time? How did I contact friends? Did I even have any friends? I don't know. I don't remember.

I guess being on facebook helped me feel like I was part of a community. My friends list was a huge number (382) of people from all aspects of my life. Former school classmates, girls who used to be in my ballet class, that guy I had my first kiss with, my old professors, my coworkers, all the people I hung out with in college, etc. Pretty much almost every person I interacted with at some point in my life was on my facebook. Like a small town of people I know.

Even though I might not have spoken to a person in 15 years, the protection of a computer screen allowed me to compliment their new hair style or "like" one of their status updates.

And now I'm stuck in the real world with nobody. If someone says something witty at the grocery store, I'm not going to give them a thumbs up. It doesn't work that way.

I'm not going to bring my poking war with my coworkers into the real world. That would be weird and creepy. And sometimes if you have long nails, poking in real life can hurt.

I'm not going to stand up on top of my apartment building and tell everyone what book I'm reading. I'm not going to stand on a street corner and status update my life.

So I guess I will just have to wait until Facebook responds to my e-mails. As torturous as it may be.

I am a child of the digital age. What else can I say?

(Un) Happy New Year

It's almost comical how I think every year is the worst year of my life.

This year is no different. It has been one nightmare after another, in fact, it's the whole reason I started my blog back in February. I needed a place to vent about how awful the new year was going. I had no idea it was only going to get worse.

I'm not going to list all the problems I've been moaning about in the past year. I'm going to talk about something a little more recent.

I never brought this up before because I didn't want the agony to affect all aspects of my life. This blog was one place where I could escape from the drama.

But, it's kind of twisting my life into a nightmare, so I have to talk about it.

There is a girl who has been obsessed with my boyfriend for the past two and a half years. She lives in another state. She found him on facebook, back when he used to have one.

After sending him an insane number of texts and e-mails, he finally told her to leave him alone. She did not listen. So, I sent her a very polite e-mail telling her to stop bugging my boyfriend.

She recently sent me a scathing e-mail back that is so scary, it makes me think she is unstable. I can't even repeat anything she said here.

Then, to get more revenge, she interfered with my personal life. You see, this morning I got an e-mail from Facebook stating that SOMEONE e-mailed them stating my profile had objectionable content on it. Since Facebook has billions of users, they could not investigate each unique incident, but instead simply deleted accounts.

So, they deleted my account.

This is a facebook account I have had for five years. I did not have any objectionable content on it at all, especially since I was friends with my boss and coworkers. I am always very careful about what I put on it.

I'm in shock. Five years worth of messages, photos, and contact information are gone from me forever. That website was the main tool of communication I had with my cousins, former coworkers, high school friends, and college friends. And now it's all gone.

So now if I'm lucky Facebook will let me rebuild a new profile, but it's going to take a very long time to find all the friends I accumulated over the past five years. And I will never get all those photos back. My college graduation photos, my birthday photos, vacation photos, are all gone for good. I'm devastated.

All because of her. This girl who hates me. She's never even met me.

She knows my full name, she knows where I work, and she knows where I live.

Am I wrong to be scared she will try to destroy me in other ways? Her city is not very far away from me. She could easily take a road trip out here to get me. Or, contact my work and make up lies, like she did to Facebook. She could try to get me fired or ruin my reputation somehow.

I'm scared.

My Christmas List

What I really want for Christmas this year (what money can't buy):

1. A magic eraser to shed twenty pounds from this delicate five foot tall frame.

2. A father who treats me with respect, kindness, and understanding.

3. Upward mobility in my career.

4. A boyfriend who loves me unconditionally and who never hurts me.

5. More friends to hang out with because being lonely sucks.

6. A Christmas filled with peace and love, rather than bitterness and stress.

7. More time in the day, more days in the week to do everything I need to do.

8. To have more adventures, instead of fearing the consequences.

9. Good health for the rest of my life.

10. Happiness


What is on your Christmas list?


Oh, and with my help, my editor recently became addicted to this Lady Gaga Christmas song. I think that's awesome.



Enjoy!