"You can kiss my decision as it's walking out the door."

When I first heard about the new ABC show, Nashville, I was hesitant to watch it.

Not because it's about country music, but because it looked like a really good show.

You see, after last year's heartbreak with my three new favorite shows (The Playboy Club, Pan Am, and GCB) I wasn't exactly anxious to fall in love with another anticipated drama that would only get cancelled a few months later.

Well, I caved in and watched it this past week.

And shit.

I'm in love.

The show revolves around a middle-aged country superstar, Rayna Jaymes, who faces declining record sales, while a bitchy new twenty-something sensation, Juliette Barnes, quickly becomes America's Sweetheart.

If the plot sounds familiar, it's because the show is based on the Gwyneth Paltrow film, Country Strong.

One of the reasons I love this show so much is because of the dead-on casting.

The stunning and vibrant Connie Britton shines brilliantly as the gracious, regal music legend Rayna. As a viewer you feel indignant on her behalf as she's mercilessly pushed aside by her record company in favor of hot new talent. And then you also respect her as a person, when you see the behind-the-scenes glimpse at her controlling family and her inner struggles.

I was a bit skeptical of Hayden Panettiere being cast as the Taylor Swift/Carrie Underwood diva, but she actually proved me wrong. She is nearly flawless in the role of Juliette, the most unlikeable character on the show. And it seems like her character is going to be more complex, when you realize her background couldn't be more different than her blueblood middle-aged counterpart.

I'm not a huge fan of country music, but I loved the songs that played in the first episode. There was a duet in particular that was so beautiful, I can already tell the soundtrack to this show is going to be amazing.

I really, really, really hope this show doesn't get cancelled.

What do you think? Will you watch Nashville?

"Confessions of a Fabulous Almost Thirty Somewhat Sober Always Broke Journalist"

I'm a walking chick lit stereotype.

I'm in my late 20's, with a journalism career that pays pennies. I live in a tiny apartment with my guitar-playing, poetry-writing boyfriend. I'm surrounded by my gay best friends. I've gained 15 pounds since college. I have charmingly insane parents who live five minutes away and call me 10 times a day.

Every weekend, I go out with my artsy, single friends and drink pink cocktails while I entertain them with humorous stories from my week.

Actually, the more I write it down, the more I realize I don't have it SO bad. But still.

I'm sick of being stuck in this bubble.

I feel like I'm just going through the motions of life, without trying to figure mine out.

I've spent the past two years trying to write a book. I have so many stories typed out, spread out on different computers. Some are even the same stories, just written in different tones. And I'm not satisfied with any of them. In fact, I hate them.

It's just frustrating that I spend most of my day writing news stories, that by the time I want to write for myself, I feel dried up. My creativity is expired. I just want to sleep.

And because I spend so much time writing for work and pleasure, I don't have time to work out. Like, in a gym. Hell, I can't even afford a gym.

I just wish there was more time in the day. I just need a couple more hours to do the things I want to do.

But for the past six years, my life has been the same. Write for work. Write for pleasure. Laugh with friends. Go to bed. Repeat.

The lack of time in the day makes me want to scream. I want to lose 15 pounds. I want to finish this fucking book. I want to live life, instead of watching it pass me by.

But instead, I'm going to cry about it and then get back on the hamster wheel.

Because I'm too tired to do anything else.

Book Review: The Chaperone

A couple months ago, my dear friend Veronique (over at French Girl in Seattle) recommended a book that sounded absolutely delightful.

The book is called The Chaperone and it's currently a best-seller.

When I looked up the book, I discovered the author, Laura Moriarty, lives an hour away from me, which I thought was pretty cool.

When I finally got my hands on a copy, I couldn't put it down.

The novel draws you in from the very first chapter. It is beautifully written, with rich, complex characters and a fascinating historical perspective of the midwest.

I'm a bookworm, and seriously, this is the first novel in a very long time that has captivated me so completely.

The Chaperone revolves around Cora Carlisle, a Kansas housewife, who accompanies a spoiled, gorgeous, and talented 15-year-old Louise Brooks to New York City for a dance workshop in 1922.

**For those of you who do not know, Louise Brooks is one of the most famous Hollywood icons from the silent film era. She was the ultimate flapper and pretty much defined what the glitzy, wild 1920s were all about. She is also one of the first American film stars to actually be as wild off-screen as she was on-screen, which rocked the tabloids. She was basically the first Lindsay Lohan, except more famous and fabulous.**

But, when the book starts out, Louise is not famous yet. She's just a obnoxious teenager who has no regard for authority.

The heart of the book focuses on Cora's mysterious past and her path to self-discovery. It's a heart-warming glimpse at a tug-of-war relationship between women, whether its a chaperone and a silly girl, or a daughter facing her demons.

It is also a novel about growth, good or bad. It's the story of America.

Reading The Chaperone quickly made Laura Moriarty my new favorite author. I can't wait to get my hands on her other novels.

Last week, I had the opportunity to meet her at a book signing.

Laura gave a talk about the novel, where she revealed that several of Louise Brooks' surviving relatives in Wichita have approached her to compliment her on nailing their famous aunt's self-destructive personality.

At the end of the talk, I approached Laura to have my book signed. It turns out, she recognized me. (I'm a newspaper reporter). I almost died.

I really, really, really hope you guys go out and buy this book. It is brilliantly written and such a worthwhile read.

Mindy & Me

I'm really grateful for all the support you guys have been giving me. It's been comforting.

A few days ago, one of you asked me some questions, which I'm going to answer, because I don't want to be rude (and I love talking about myself, so everybody wins).

They are:

What is your fish's name?

His name is Mr. Sakana and here is his photo:

When he was adopted, his father was going through a Japanese phase, hence the name. Mr. S is a bit of a brat and to be honest, we don't really get along. My boyfriend, Rian, actually has a better relationship with him than I do. It's even gotten to the point where if I'm the one who puts the food flakes in his bowl, Mr. S refuses to eat them. It's like he'd rather die than take my charity.


What's your boyfriend studying?

Rian is getting his Masters in English.

What's your favorite shade of lipstick?

Light it Up by Victoria's Secret

Now, let's randomly talk about television.

I love television. Downton Abbey. Mad Men. The Vampire Diaries.

But there is a new show that I adore and I think it has potential to be awesome:

The Mindy Project.

Holy shit you guys. This is like my life. In 23 minutes.

The humor, the dialogue, the characters, the perspective. Sure, I'm not a doctor or even "single" but still. Watching this show was like watching myself.

Plus, it's kind of revolutionary. The Mindy Project is the first television show to be centered around (and created by) an Indian-American. Mindy Kaling is adorable, true, but she's also not a size two either. She's NORMAL. And awesome. And hilarious. Gahhhh! So much love for her.

I highly recommend you watch both the pilot and the second episode. (Click here to do so).

The pilot was basically setting up the premise of the show, and the second episode gives a taste of what to expect.

The show revolves around a 31-year-old gynecologist and her adventures at work and on the dating scene. I think it's a show most career-oriented girls around my age identify with. You spend your twenties working towards a goal, believing love will just enter into the picture naturally, and then suddenly you wake up and everyone else around you is married with kids and all the good guys are taken.

I've been a fan of Mindy Kaling since her days on The Office, but this show made me realize she might actually be my kindred spirit.

I want to meet her right now and be her best friend. (If you want to know a more detailed reason of why, click here).

What do you think of this show? What other new shows are you excited about this season?

My Once Upon a Time series!

I'm so proud to announce that I was recently chosen to be a monthly guest blogger at one of the coolest fashion blogs around, The Fabulous Life of Not-so-Rich & Infamous.

Tanvi and I have been fans of each other for more than three years now, so I was absolutely delighted when she asked me to do the honor.

I'm going to be featuring profiles on long-forgotten Indian celebrities. This is a topic which fascinates me, not only because one whole side of my family comes from India, but also because my grandfather was in the entertainment industry.

For my first post, I featured Madhubala. She was considered the Marilyn Monroe of India.

You can read the post here.

Make sure to visit Tanvi's facebook page or come back here to let me know what you think!

The verdict is in...

I've been thinking about it all weekend, and I've come to the reality that I can't give up my blog.

I enjoy it too much.

That being said, you might notice a change.

I'm going to make this blog a little more...self-indulgent.

One of the reasons I started blogging three years ago was so I could have a place where I could vent. A place where I could be myself without fear of people in my life judging me. A place where I could be creative. A place where I could write for myself.

And somewhere in the process of this blog becoming a success, I feel like I lost that aspect. I started blogging for "them." What would "they" like to read? What would interest "them"? I spent a lot of time researching topics that I didn't necessarily care about. And when that post would only receive a few comments, I would feel discouraged and worn out.

I'm not going to give up on the researched posts. You'll still see biographies of doomed, yet forgotten starlets, just not as often. I'll still review movies and books and recipes. I'll probably have more of those kinds of posts that make you go "what the fuck is she on?" (like this one). And I'm going to get more personal on here.

Unfortunately, since I'm a freelance journalist, I can't afford a therapist, so I might turn here when things get rough.

You're going to get to know me.

To get started, let me introduce myself properly.

My name is Jennifer (no shit) and this is me:

I like people to think I'm cute, so I take hundreds of photos of myself until I finally see one that's halfway decent for me to post on Facebook.

I'm in my mid-20s, but crawling towards a number I can't even write without bursting into tears.

The majority of my best friends are gay men. I only have a few close girlfriends here in town that I hang out with on a regular basis. One, I grew up across the street from for ten years. The other, I met through our blogs. And the last one, I met in a mental institution (we were visiting the same person).

I share joint custody of a fish. His father is an artist currently living in Berlin.

My boyfriend is in graduate school, riding on a pretty impressive fellowship.

I'm obsessed with lipstick.

I used to really like olives, but now I'm on the fence.

Anyway, that's just a little bit about me.

Nice to meet you. (And thanks for the love).

Hello? Is anybody out there?

...

Do you hear that? It's the sound of crickets.

Perhaps I'm being paranoid, but the blogosphere seems like a ghost town to me. It's something I've noticed in the past few months.

There used to be a time when this blog would get up to 200 comments. Then 100. Then 50. Now I'm lucky to hit 20.

My stat numbers are the same, but it's mostly a direct result of google searches. This blog has become an encyclopedia of pop culture for strangers around the world.

But I don't want to be a reference.

And I don't like the way the blogosphere works. I'm tired of it.

When you start a blog, a lot of people offer advice on how to get more "readers." Because that leads to "advertising."

They don't tell you the reality. If you want comments, you need to comment on other people's blogs. So, if you want 200 comments on a post, you better be prepared to give up your entire life, because you're going to have to comment on 200 blogs. Every fucking time. (Unless you're Jane from Sea of Shoes. And nobody becomes Sea of Shoes overnight. Sorry, kids.)

If you want followers, you have to follow others back.

I understand the blogosphere is a community. And without this two-way street, I seriously would not have met some of the most important friends in my life. It's as simple as that.

But having a successful blog is exhausting. I don't have time to comment on other blogs, just to receive comments. I'm uninterested in following somebody merely for their follow back. Why bother.

I had a goal to reach 1,000 followers this year, and I'm so burnt out, I don't even want that many anymore. Because it's not real. It will just be a bunch of random fashion bloggers who follow me, hoping I'll follow back, and then after a few months, think I'm not paying attention, and un-follow me so they can start following others.

It's juvenile and I'm too old for this shit.

And after almost four years of blogging, I keep feeling like I shouldn't have to adhere to these rules anymore. If my blog is good, it should stand on its own.

If not, maybe I need to consider spending my time elsewhere.

If you're a blogger, than you probably realize how much time I put into these posts. Yeah, these are random topics straight off the top of my head, but for the most part, they're thoroughly researched. I'm a journalist. I was trained to be a fact-checker.

And I can't help but think that perhaps this blog isn't worth the effort anymore.

Especially if nobody reads blogs anymore. I seriously can't be the only blogger noticing the chill in the air. I can't be the only blogger with a declining readership.

Or maybe I just suck.

Anyway.

That's all.