Wednesday, May 12, 2010
I used to be one of those skinny girls who complained about looking fat.
Senior year of high school, at 91 pounds, I would sit around the lunch table with my friends and talk about how fat I looked. What's sad is that I really did believe it.
Um, I kind of want that body back.
What was I thinking?!?! I was a size zero. I looked fantastic. I managed to keep that weight all the way through college.
But as soon as I got my first office job, I let myself go. Things in my life were changing and my body was the last thing on my mind. I was sitting in a cubicle all day. Stress gave me cravings. My boyfriend took me out to expensive restaurants practically every night. I became a lush (fruity martinis are the devil). I moved out on my own and lost control of my regular eating habits.
Now here I am, four years after college graduation, and 30 pounds heavier. It may not sound like a lot to you, but with my tiny frame, it's a huge deal.
My self-esteem is pretty much non-existent. Eighty percent of my closet does not fit me anymore. Shopping sucks when nothing cute looks cute on you. I rarely take photos of myself these days. When I look in the mirror, I see a giant football with long brown hair.
I want to start losing weight, but I need to do it in moderation. I need to slowly change my lifestyle. Combating cravings would be a blessing. I know just making the most simple and smallest changes will help push me in the right direction.