Back from Denver!

I'm baaaack!!!

I know a lot of you have had sleepless nights, wondering about my trip, so I thought I would quickly put you out of your misery and provide a detailed account.


Friday

The flight to Denver, Colorado was the rockiest and most nauseating ride of my life. It was like being on the worst part of the roller coaster, where you’re pretty sure you’re going to throw up as soon as the ride ends. For the record: I didn’t throw up but wish I had. Yes, the flight was that bad.


(waterfall at our hotel)

As soon as we got to the hotel, my dad decided he needed to eat dinner immediately. Like, he was going to turn into a pumpkin if he didn’t digest food before 7 p.m. So we spent 30 minutes walking around, searching for an acceptable place to eat. I saw lots of fantastic places. A Whole Foods. A fancy Indian restaurant. A pizza parlor. Panda Express. In the end, my parents decided that the best place to eat would be a shady-looking Mexican joint nestled in an abandoned shopping mall.

That night, I polished off almost two bottles of Merlot before passing out in the living room of the hotel suite. I mysteriously woke up in bed. (Thanks, mom!)


(my bed)


Saturday

My parents and I spent the entire morning at the King Tut exhibit at the Denver Art Museum. Although the exhibit has been in Denver for months, it was still incredibly packed. You literally had to wait in line for five-to-ten minutes to catch a glimpse of each artifact. I found it very distressing and tiresome.


(Outside the Denver Art Museum)

We then spent that afternoon looking at all the other regular art exhibits in the museum. My parents made the mistake, however, of showing me the kids area where you could create your own Monet or Picasso postcard. I spent two hours in the play area perfecting two postcards with stencils, paints, and glitter. My parents were pissed and they bitched at me for taking so long. I ended up ripping up my postcards and running away from the kids area in tears. It was a very emotional day.


(capitol building)


(Streets of Denver)


(man playing piano outside)

Later that evening, we walked around downtown. I quickly realized Denver has an overabundance of two things: hipsters and bums.

That night, we hit up the hotel bar. After I ordered a round of whiskey sours, the good-looking bartender shyly told me, "I think you're really pretty." My dad piped up, "she'd be even prettier if she lost 30 pounds." Horrified, I spent the next two hours drinking myself into oblivion. I don't remember the rest of the night.


Sunday

When I was a little girl, my dad told me how devout Hindus in India would travel hundreds of miles to bathe themselves in the holy water of the Ganges River.

I never imagined that one day I would have a similar experience, but fate intervened.

You see, my parents and I made our own pilgrimage...to the very first Chipotle ever built.

If you have read my blog long enough, you know that I have an addiction.

I could not believe I was standing in the location where greatness was created 17 years ago. And there were people walking into the place and ordering food, like eating at the first Chipotle ever built was a normal experience. It was mind-boggling.


(the mother ship)

I ordered two tacos, chips & salsa, and soup (yes, SOUP). I even got pictures of the staff. They were so thrilled I made the pilgrimage, they gave my entire family free t-shirts.


(The actual staff at the first Chipotle location)

(Sidenote: I am the most awesome dork EVER).

Later that afternoon, we visited the Unsinkable Molly Brown Museum (where the Titanic survivor lived) and learned a lot of really cool facts about the history of Denver.


(Fountain in downtown Denver)

Then I was unwillingly dragged around town for TWO HOURS by my parents as they looked for a restaurant to eat dinner. Seriously. I just don't understand why finding a restaurant is such a big ordeal. We ended up eating sandwiches at a coffee shop. Yes. Two hours of searching and we end up with that shit.


(Streets of Denver)


Monday

My dad got us to the airport three hours early that morning, much to my annoyance. I spent the entire morning reading The Girl Who Played with Fire (sequel to Dragon Tattoo and so far, sooooo amazingly good).

Once we boarded the plane, a really creepy older man in his fifties told me I was "more than welcome" to sit on his lap. I declined, for personal reasons, and then explained it was probably against airplane regulations. He then got serious and said he wanted me to sit next to him, which made the situation even more uncomfortable. In sheer panic, I ended up sitting next to a young mother with a newborn baby. Fortunately, the baby was the quiet the entire trip.

When I got home, I realized how many chores I had to do in the next week and my headed started swimming. Ten minutes upon arrival, I decided I needed another vacation.

The End


(Me looking ecstatically happy in Denver)

If you actually read that entire post, you get the "A" Award! There is no physical prize, it just means there is a girl out there named Jennifer Fabulous who thinks you are AWESOME. That's better than any gold trophy or monetary reward, trust me.