Journalist. Mother. Bunny enthusiast. Pop culture junkie.

Journalist. Mother. Bunny enthusiast. Pop culture junkie.

Friday, June 15, 2012

Let's Play with Barbie!



The other week, I had so much fun with those Barbie posts, I decided to go hang out with my old dolls.

I spent an hour in my parents' attic reacquainting myself with my former friends.

Let me introduce you to them:


This is Barbie, of course. When I first met Barbie, she was a flight attendant. But she has since lost her plane, making her job quite useless in Jennyland. So, for the past 20 years, she has mostly spent her time shopping with her besties and marrying her boyfriend over and over again.


These are Barbie's close friends, riding in front of her Dream House in their vintage 1989 pink convertible. Hope, on the left, was a hip-hop musician from NYC when we first met in 1991. Bridget, on the right, was a cheerleader when we met the same year.


This is Barbie's cousin, Malibu. When we first met in 1989, Malibu was an aspiring swimsuit model. But these days, she's a fashion blogger.


Do you like her outfit shot?


And here is Barbie's best friend, Jasmine. Isn't she gorgeous with her long shiny hair?! When we first met in 1993, Jasmine was a spoiled Arabian princess. She still acts like one.


Last but not least, here is Barbie with her boyfriend, Ken. He was a lifeguard when we met in 1990, and even though he has since retired from the career, he still spends most of his time lounging around the pool.


Holy slutballs! I turn my back for one minute and Jasmine is already letting Ken whisper sweet nothings in her ear! How could she do this to her best friend?!



And when Barbie catches them in the act, Jasmine still can't keep the smirk off her face. That dirty bitch! This friendship is OVER.


Without hesitation, Barbie kicks Jasmine to the ground and stomps on her, barefoot. That's what happens when you're a backstabbing, boyfriend-stealing hoe-bag!


Jasmine is so wrought with guilt, she seeks comfort in the arms of a priest, who is more than willing to oblige.

...fin.

(Have a great weekend!)

41 comments:

Slauditory said...

This is hilarious! I love the blogger and smackdown photos the most.

French Girl in Seattle said...

Oh mon Dieu. Were you slightly tipsy when you wrote this or did you just get all wrapped up in your "moment" with Barbie and her friends? :-) Tres drole. You made me laugh this morning as I am about to fly home in a few hours (all details are on le Blog, of course.) When the transatlantic flight becomes too unbearingly long and airplane food too unbearingly bad, I will remember this story and smile. Merci Jenny. Veronique (French Girl in Seattle)

Wil Harris said...

Too funny! My favorite barbie growing up was my ballerina one that my brother bought for me. I wish I still had it.
Love the hair shot :)

Swarnali said...

bwahaha that is so hilarious!! :D :D
My dear Jenny, how do such awesome posts come to your head?? :D

just me said...

you are funny :)
ExCurlyThoughts
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studentfab.blogspot.com said...

haha this made me laugh
www.studentfab.blogspot.com

Mouthwash said...

AAAHHH!! Jen, this is *perfect*!!! This had me laughing so freaking hard. I love how you arranged these dolls. Oh man..please do more posts like this, these are amazing!!

Amber

Bunny Moreno said...

Omg I cant stop laughing hehehehe I love it! xox

Couture Carrie said...

Hysterical post, darling!

Hope you have a fabulous weekend, too!

xoxox,
CC

jillian m. said...

Ha! This is great. Love that after all that, they still wear those perfect smiles. You'd never know!

Blond Duck said...

Where's Skipper? :)

Sherin said...

I can NOT believe Ken cheated on Barbie. What a jerk.
This is actually definitely my favourite post ever!!! I'm going to re-find my Barbies and see if they have issues like this as well.
Someone needs to turn this into a reality show.

TheRitzyFlapper said...

oh my goodness ken is such an ass!!! hahahahahaha i love this pose deary!!!! :) and its so fun to see you having so much fun with your old childhood toys!! :) hahahahaha this post made me laugh so much hahahaha! and i just loved the the pictures! :) amazing job my dear! your blog is always so interesting


wishing you the best,
TheRitzyFlapper

Tights Lover said...

Hahaha...love it! This was like Barbie-world Jerry Springer!

Actually, in that case Barbie would have to be carrying Ken's baby only, a in-show paternity test would reveal that it was NOT Ken's...much to his relief. Then the show would end in a slap fight between Barbie and Jasmine with Ken looking on in a weird mixture of horror and enjoyment...

Wow...that was fun...maybe I should get some Barbies...

diana said...

ugh i so wish i was still in contact with my former barbie friends..........jely!

The Grande Dame said...

Ha ha... That was very funny. I was never allowed to have a house or car etc for mine. Later my barbies got all gothed up & decapitated or hanged... My mum just didn't understand.

Anonymous said...

Jennifer, you are Fabulous in every way possible. The internet bows to your genius.

Beauty Follower said...

Lol!

makeup and beauty by prayati said...

lol...this is the cutest and funiest post i have read in a while....all the memories of me playing with my barbies just came alive....thanks jen..loved ur post :)

VLM. said...

Hahaha, this post was so cute! :) I loved reading this. There's a new post up on my blog and I'd love to hear what you think of it, so feel free to stop by!
xoxo, Veena

www.seveninchstilettos.com
Twitter: @VeenaMcCoole

starla said...

For some reason, maybe that my mother was a historian, all our adventures with our barbies were set in the past, and all our barbies were Disney princesses. My barbies travelled in a basket carried by Pegasus, except for Mulan, who preferred her horse. And Megara was the leader (I had Hercules too, but he didn't look too clever). As we had the same dolls, they all had twins, but it was easy to tell them apart. I combed their hair too much :-(

Cafe Fashionista said...

Hahahaha! Is it wrong that I seriously want to visit your parents attic and play with Barbies with you? I'm not even joking - it would be the best time EVER!

P.S. I totally still have my old Jasmine doll, as well! :)

Wil Harris said...

Hi Jennifer! We nominated you for the Blogger Appreciation Award, check it out! :)

Stylish By Nature said...

ha ha !! So hilarious :)

Check out my new post...
❤ StylishByNature.com

LaraBeTheOne said...

haha i played till age of 12 xD

Barbara Tamez ♥ xo said...

Cute!!! Love barbies <3

Cailin´s Place said...

I love barbies!!!;D
kisses!

Fashion Tales.... said...

haha! I loved reading this ... aww, I think my Barbies went on an indefinite holiday. Ohhh, the memories of playing! That's so nice that your parents still kept your Barbies! :) xx

Imogen said...

This is just another reason why you and I are so similar; we both just rediscovered our barbie collections.

Meri said...

haha- if you and I had played with barbies when I was little I might not have thought they were so boring- can this become a regular feature?

sherene said...

I grew up in a farm where kiddo's play on the fields or streets. But i have at least two barbies sitting on my bed, not being played with lol.

vintage process said...

Nice!!

The Dainty Dolls House said...

ahahahah...loved it!! Your a riot, loved this :))) xx

Oh to Be a Muse said...

Barbie is on the blog and hilarity ensues. Thanks for sharing your Barbie playing habits with us. It's nice to see that you still have all these toys. Mine are all gone.

Love the black and white of Jasmine and Ken...it looks so sweet, even if she is a boyfriend stealer.

Kim (A Very Sweet Blog) said...

LMFAOOOO Jennifer! I knew it was going to end in some kind of drama. I applaud you for keeping all of your dolls AND the accessories! I think I gave all of my stuff away. Jasmine is BAD BAD and so is KEN! hahaha Great post!
http://www.averysweetblog.com/

ravenlocks said...

LOL! I have that Jasmine doll. She came with two different outfits.

This is my new bloggy :) I don't have the google friend connect button...it's not available for new blogs :( But you can follow me through bloglovin'. I'm excited to comment on your posts now! Hope you're doing great, Jen. Have a lovely Monday!

xo Azu

www.raven-locks.blogspot.com

Arielle-HumblePieVintage said...

hahahaaha. you actually did really good arranging them. It fits the captions perfectly!

Jacquii Lie said...

hahaha awesome post! Hilarious. I must say, I do love me some Barbie fashions. Following you :)

xx
Couture Caddy

love jenny xoxo said...

LOL too funny!! I'm pretty sure I had the exact same barbies, and my sister had Jasmine... figures right?

XOXO

Rachel Jensen {Da Paura ♥} said...

So funny!! You are awesome.

jos xx said...

haha this is too cute and funny at the same time! so original!

joss
http://millionheartsandafewcrosses.blogspot.com/