Journalist. Mother. Bunny enthusiast. Pop culture junkie.

Journalist. Mother. Bunny enthusiast. Pop culture junkie.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Going a dud.

I'm sorry for the disappearing act.

Life with a decade-old laptop sucks balls. Sorry to be graphic, but it does.

Being without a computer to write, blog, or stalk my boyfriend's exes has left me kind of depressed. I sat around all day in front of the television, eating chocolate and watching old episodes of Project Runway. I also managed to sneak a movie in the morning, but it was so awful, it made me even more depressed.

Which sucks, because I had already decided to do a blog post about it. Since I don't want to write another "woe is me" post, I'm going to review the movie anyway.

I grabbed the movie, "Going Shopping" from the library because, well, wouldn't you?

It had a few good reviews on the cover. It had a cute photo. And how could any movie about shopping be...bad?

I will explain how, but here is a summary of the film first:

The film revolves around Holly G, a successful boutique owner, who discovers she will lose her store if she doesn't come up with $40,000 in one weekend for rent she owes. And why hasn't this 40-something-year-old store owner been paying her rent? Because she has a slimy old boyfriend who handles all her business and had been using her rent money to purchase her extravagant jewelry. She dumps him, of course, and has a 30% off sale that weekend to come up with the money by Monday. Oh, and that weekend she also meets a "hottie" who is like 15 years younger than her and has an equal obsession with fashion.

There are so many things wrong with this movie, I don't even know where to begin.

This is a film which came out in 2005. The internet is referenced. There are cell phones.

But all the women in the film are decked out in generic clothing that look straight out of a spring 1992 Sears catalog.

Plus, all the clothes in Holly's boutique are equally bland and boring. Silky plain blouses are $300. Dresses are $400. We're not talking about designer clothing here.

A major fault of the movie, which I found kind of insulting, was the depiction of Holly's customers. Shopaholics in the film are shown as estrogen-soaked housewives who walk into stores with high-pitched squeals and automatically start complimenting every stranger in sight on her outfit. They even help pick out each other's clothes! Am I shopping in the wrong places? Do people do this in real life?

The main character herself is excruciatingly annoying. Holly, played by Victoria Foyt, has a horrible haircut and a high-pitched voice and an obnoxious laugh.

Her suitor, Miles, is just as bad. When he first meets Holly, he's immediately taken with her "fabulous ensemble." He even asks her to twirl, he's so amazed. The 20-something-year-old breaks up with his attractive, younger girlfriend hours after becoming bewitched with Holly. The young bohemian stud woos his older crush while wearing a "Free Tibet" t-shirt and using these exact words: "Let's hook up at Starbucks around 6 p.m. and see where the night takes us." Holly, of course, finds that totally hot.

And while all this awkwardness is going on, horrible cheesy jazz music keeps playing in the background.

The lyrics to the theme song are: "I went window shopping in your eyes and found a heart in just my size."

Not kidding.

While I intensely disliked this indulgent movie, I did appreciate one factor:

It is a film which explores the female psyche in regards to shopping. The director, Henry Jaglom, shows us that shopping is more profound than people think. It gives people a sense of identity and has the ability to heal us when we're sad or make us feel better about ourselves.

I just wish it had been a lot better. With different actors. Different clothing. Different plot.

Anyway, I totally do not recommend this film. It will make you wish you had actually been going shopping instead.


Mouthwash said...

Eeew! What an awful movie! I am so sorry!


Leia said...

That movie sounds truly atrocious!


Vintage Vixen said...

It sounds awful but to be honest the cover looks pretty naff. Better luck next time. xxx

daisychain said...

Eek that does sound bloody awful!

Liv said...

Hahahaha... that sounds so awful it almost sounds awesome. Almost.

"I went window shopping in your eyes and found a heart in just my size." I'm still laughing at this! I'm sorry your two hours of pain and suffering has caused me so much amusement! :-)

Imogen said...

Firstly, I would probably have watched it too if I was in your situation. I would have been completely induced by the cover and the title. I'm really pleased you reviewed it because its good to hear about negative reviews and not just the positive movies. From what you said, it is probably really bad. I simply cannot stand movies that are unrealistic and an inaccurate representation of people and society. The line about the heart and window shopping is so lame. A part of me feels like I want watch it anyway just to see exactly how bad it is and to get a laugh out of it.

Robin said...

Ick, ick and more ick.

On a cheery note, I also had an ancient laptop. Now I have a tiny netbook I landed for about $350 and I use it for all my internet needs. Just sayin'.

Savvy Gal said...

eekkkk. hope you resolve your computer issue before long.

btd. said...

Wow, that does sound awful. This is one of the movies they need to remake! Definitely not going to waste time watching this one Lol.

Josie said...

This sounds JUST terrible enough to be fantastic.
xo Josie

Lane :) said...

hahaha. that made me laugh. went window shopping in your eyes? oh jeez.

Couture Carrie said...

Fab review, darling!

Cheer up :)


Damsels said...

cannot believe you watched the whole thing jen :(

im planing on watching the new documentary "waiting for superman" its about the education system i this country . supposed to be real good

Madeline Weber said...

definitly WON'T be getting this movie anytime soon!
thanks for the heads up (:


Keith said...

I had never heard of this one before. I'll definitely avoid it.

Hope Adela said...

wow that movie sounds like it really sucks! thanks for giving us a warning!

Rachel said...

Yikes! This is one movie I will definitely be staying away from! Lol.

gleenn said...

Lol, Holly having a high pitched voice reminds me of a co-teacher who has such voice which literally annoys me.

Good review. I think that movies, just as books, should depict realities, only in a better way. :)

Win a $75 gift certificate giveaway at Creative Fashion!

Cafe Fashionista said...

There's actually a movie called "Going Shopping"? Ohmigosh love! I don't care how ridiculous it is; the fact that it has such a title is reason enough to see it at least once! Oh, how I adore your movie reviews, my love!! :P

Missy M said...

wow thats a BAD film!

Blending Style, Beauty and Fashion

Tights Lover said...

Well then.

I'm equally shocked this movie could've been screwed up so badly. It seems like a plot I would've enjoyed and it could have been well done without needing the typical budget these days to take care of blowing things up, and special effects, and 3D etc. I'm mad at whoever made this.

On the other hand, your description of it made me laugh several times. So in a way, I guess I enjoyed this movie without having to watch it.....and then not enjoy it. So there.

...Now I think I will take your advice and go shopping for real ;-).

VenusInVirgo said...

Love your post :) I feel you on the old laptop thing,it totally sucks when you cant get a new one. Before O got this one I was getting hand me down refurbished ones lol! Thanks for sharing the info on the movie. I never saw this one,it seems fun enough XOXO

Tanvi said...

Sounds like an awful awful movie! P.S. I like your blog title. I know, right? :)

LyddieGal said...

your review is hilarious, i'll be sure and avoid this one!!
Usually if you've never heard of it, thats a sign to stay away, haha.

Sorry about the computer, its hard to be without one these days, and even worse when they are slow!

Chic on the Cheap

Amelia is... said...

Thanks for your comment recently, I am hoping that things begin to calm down a little bit! How is everything with you? I hope you are doing well.

Mint Scented Kerrie said...

Oh my god! I've actually seent this. I swear. Oh and also what do you have against sucking balls exactly?

SMASH said...

This movie looks so bad that it could be hilarious...which makes me really intrigued? ;)


AX80 said...

Lol. How insanely predictable!

Pop Champagne said...

I think most movies aren't like real life, if movies are like real life, then it would be a really boring movie, except like Schindler's List. lol bad joke!

anyways I love your reference on the sears catalog, that's how I felt about the pic you posted. haha! and yeah if this girl is going to be a shop-whore I except to see dresses more than $400 in her closet! sounds like a sex and the city movie that went horribly wrong!

Taj Acosta said...

I hate that when a story has a good chance but the actors are all wrong!! Like the back up plan, the guy was all wrong for jlo so it wasn't as great as it could have been. I love when you do movie reviews!! hugs

Kristin said...

So you're saying we should go rent it? Ah ha ha. I hate wasting time on crappy movies!

Pratishtha Durga said...

Ouch! Sounds like a dud, alright. And you are too funny. your writing is so fluid and easy to read. Hope your lappie behaves. Loved your rant...

Audrey Allure said...

Ouch sounds like a bad movie!