Journalist. Mother. Bunny enthusiast. Pop culture junkie.

Journalist. Mother. Bunny enthusiast. Pop culture junkie.

Monday, February 28, 2011

My loss is my fabulousness!

I’m going to lose 15 pounds by April.

If you’ve been reading this blog long enough, you’ll know I’ve been bitching about losing weight for two years now.

But this time, I really am going to do it.

There is a bribe involved.

My dad has told me if I lose at least 15 pounds by April, he will buy me a pair of Manolo Blahniks to wear at his hospital’s garden party later that month.

That’s a huge fucking deal. My dad hasn’t bought me anything since I left home three years ago. (He’s still bitter I went out and got my own apartment. In his traditional Indian mind, women should live at home until marriage or death. Whichever comes first.)

To be honest, it’s not the bribing part that is most thrilling. I thrive on bribes from my father.

Each year of elementary school, I aced all my honors classes so I could receive a shiny new toy at the beginning of summer.

In high school, I got nothing less than a B all four years so my dad would buy me a brand new car after graduation.

In college, I got nothing less than a B all four years so my dad would pay my tuition and country club membership.

Now, it’s the shoes.

But for me, the most exciting aspect is the party. You see, I never thought I would get to go back.

Five years ago, when I was 96 pounds, my dad took me to his hospital’s Christmas party, which was being held at a gorgeous historical mansion downtown. He let me sit with his secretary and the nurses because he thought it would be good for me to sit with girls around my own age.

It was a brilliant idea. The girls were so much fun and we had an absolute blast. We ended up getting fabulously drunk and started dirty dancing to the Black Eyed Peas on stage and erupting into loud laughter every five minutes. I took it one step further and, wearing a little black dress and four inch heels, did a solo dance routine to Gwen Stefani’s banana song on a bar stool.

It was epic and to this day, people my dad barely knows at the hospital still stop him in the hallways to ask about me.

I’m not gonna lie. I kind of want to repeat that experience. In Manolo Blahniks.

So, here goes my weight loss routine. I’m a lot more optimistic this time because I can see the reward ahead of me. I am a greyhound, chasing the rabbit. I am a fashionista chasing a $900 pair of heels.

Wish me luck!

PS. If you’re looking for Oscar red carpet coverage, my hilarious friend Lauren has it here.


Vanilla said...

Good luck with the weight loss :) This is a great idea to have a treat at the end, Make it worth the effort :)

Love, Vanilla

Liv said...

You can do it! (In a healthy way, not a scary way).
I've tried bribing myself with rewards for accomplishing things, but someone else footing the bill is way way better.
And I assure you the lame-ass "foot" pun is purely accidental.

Tights Lover said...

Good luck.

All I'm going to say is...enjoy the shoes. I already know you're going to do it, so I'm not even worried. Just get to work on the rest of the outfit (not to mention this year's dance routine)!

Fashion, Art and other fancies said...

Sometimes an extra spot of motivation or ( bribe) is required for us to take that last leap!
Wishing you the best with your weight loss plan and I'm sure you'll shine brightly at your Papa's hospital garden party in your exquisite shoes;-)

Kristy said...

Good luck, it will be totally worth the prize! You sound like so much fun too, come to canada and be my frienddddd! x

anhesty said...

good luck dear! i know you can do it! and a good bribe like that is always good. what an awesome daddy!

Gawgus things... said...

Good luck! I need to do the same but haven't got an incentive like this unfortunately! XX

Tamara Nicole said...

Oh my goodness I wish someone offered me that! :-) Kinda jealous. You can do it!!!

Audrey Allure said...

That's an awesome deal; you can totally do it - just show us those gorgeous shoes you picked out! ;)

Vintage Vixen said...

What a generous offer from your Daddy! I know you can do it. xxx

David L Macaulay said...

jeez - you look fab anyhow. actually I'm thinking of joining the Y as it's time to get serious re weight loss, Sadly I am not shoe motivated.

Melanie's Randomness said...

I'm rooting for you girl! Portion control, not eating at night, and WALKING like NO OTHER!!! Ooo I can't wait to see what pair of Manolo's you pick!! =)

So you have to also enter my Shabby Apple dress giveaway! Maybe if you win you could wear it to the party?

Shabby Apple Dress Giveaway!

Phil said...

You can do it!Good luck :)

The Shanner of Attention said...

You crack me up. I would have totally been on the stool next to you singing B-A-N-A-N-A-S!

Good luck with the weight loss - you can do it! said...

You are definitely the most outrageously hilarious writer/blogger I know!!! You can do it. I am sure. Here comes the Manolos ;)

Josie said...

You can do it, Jen! Just keep thinking about how killer your legs are going to look in those heels!
xo Josie

Devea said...

I need to lose a significant amount of weight to. I have tried so many times, but this time I NEED to do it. For my health and other aspects of my life,

Andrés Corella said...

Good luck with that!! You´ll see they will be yours!!! and Your dad is a genius haha


My Republic of Fashion said...

Ooh, that party sounds fantastic!!! Anything for Manolo's. Cannot wait to see them. 'Cause I know you will do it! :)SarahD xx

Jennifer said...

Good luck -- though you totally won't need it b/c you've SO GOT THIS! <3

I bribe myself for everything in life. with shopping =)

Go J-fab go! <3

Jenn @ Peas & Crayons

Venus In Virgo said...

Good Luck! I had one vintage pair of MB and sold them on Ebay then regretted it argh! Go get dem shoes girl XOXO

Tabatha said...

I'm pretty sure you can make it! IMO you're the determined kind, if you want something you'll do whatever it takes to get it. But please do it in a healthy way, okay?
& I want 1000 pics of you dancing in your new shoes :-D

Sherin said...

Parent bribes are the best. It's the only reason I'm still living at home, hehe.
Oooh, that's a great bribe! Good luck!

love jenny xoxo said...

Good luck!! You are a lucky girl!!! I would love a pair of shoes like that!! I have a vaca coming up and I'm trying to make that my motivation to drop a few, I guess we will see if it works!


Couture Carrie said...

Now THAT is motivation!
You go, girl!
I know you can do it!


Alicia said...

GOOD LUCK! I'm on a weight loss kick as well. I'll post my weight loss in April too to give you some moral support via the interenets.

Kavery said...

I'm sure you can do it. I'm waiting for a picture of you doing a victory dance in Manolos!

btd. said...

WHOOOO!You can totally do this! You got a whole month! Shoes are a very good bribe too. Good luck! :)

MG said...

Good fucking luck. Seriously. You deserve those damn shoes. Get it gurl!!!

Sarah said...

This is such a good incentive! Good luck with it! :)

Anonymous said...

GOOD LUCK!!!!! You'll get that pair of manolos!!! AND YOU'LL WEAR THEM ON THAT PARTY!!!! This entry was crraaaazzzy!! I loved it!!
By the way, thanks a lot for your comment!!!

Style, She Wrote said...

Good luck girl! Kick some butt! xo style, she wrote

Chic 'n Cheap Living said...

Perfect! Work those future shoes darling!

Leia said...

Now THAT'S what I call incentive. My (Indian) father used to bribe my brothers to get good grades as well - monetary incentives most of the time - and to lose weight, too! Sadly, I've never been bribed to do anything. If I told him I wanted a pair of $900 shoes I think he'd laugh at me and tell me why it's silly to buy ONE pair of shoes for $900 when I could be buying so many more. That's what you get when your dad's a businessman! :P


Fashion Cappuccino said...

Awesome reward to reach your goal! What's better than designer shoes! You're so lucky to have a dad like that! I have to buy everything for myself since I was able to work and get a job, haha. The hospital story is so funny; it's good to have wild fun! xoxoxoo

Design Elements said...

you CAN do it!

The Breakfast Lover said...

WoW! what a great award for losing weight!! im on a diet too but im not geting anything...:))good luck!for shure you can do it!!

Pratishtha Durga said...

Wow. I wish you good luck with the weight loss. Do it for yourself. i completely understand the desire to relive that moment. you go girl. may you shine and dazzle soon, and in those Manolos.

FashionJazz said...

Godd luck and enjoy wearing those shoes!! :)

a woman's right to shoes said...

I LOVE Manolo shoes, I actually have a pair. Saved money for so long so that when I went to New York for the first time I could afford it. They are so comfortable you won't believe it. Good luck with the weight loss, I should probably try to loose some myself.

Vivek Nanda said...

You can do it, go for it !!

Cafe Fashionista said...

For Manolo's, anything is possible. You can do it, Jennifer. Why? Because you're fabulous!!! :)

M said...

those shoes are beautiful! look at those details!


Thanks for coming by and for your comment! xoxoxo

Sisters and Sisters said...

Good luck girl!:D


F. said...

You can do it! believe it ;)

xoxo F.

yiqin; said...

I would starve for shoes :P

Courtney Erin said...

Good luck -- you can totally do it (just be healthy)!

xoxo ~ Courtney

Ninjagaiden78 said...

You can do it!
I am pulling for you all the way.
Just think about you wearing those wonderful shoes!

Pretty Vintage said...

omg your blog is fabulous! you write so well, I just couldnt stop reading! congratulations :)

Bonnie said...

Good luck with weight loss!!! I'm sure you can do it -- especially when Manolos are at stake.
Twitter: @GlamKitten88

Twenty.Something said...

Good luck my dear! I know you can do it... and what better motivation than shoes! Lucky girl. My dad hasn't bought me anything since I was 10 haha.

Giselle said...

Definitely having a goal to focus on will help, anytime I'm trying to start a new exercise routine I have to give myself some sort of prize at the end for motivation, and Manolos are quite the motiviation ;)

Lucie said...

Good luck with the weight loss, you have a fab treat to reward yourself with at the end of it!


Anonymous said...

Yeah i know it´s a great song. You write so intresting, i´m definitly following you! i hope you do the same if you like my blog. But i have to say your is realy cool.
And me myself have bitching about losing weight for a long time now, and i´m finally getting started for real, but i don´t get beutiful shoes for that :( buhhuu..
But you keep on going girl ;)


LIE said...

thanks for your lovely comment:)
Really gorgeous pic!


fashion is for idiots [like us]

Oh to Be a Muse said...

oh wow! can i tell you how awesome this is? i wish my hubby would bribe me like that. getting a pair of Manolos for 15 pounds is a bargain. i wish you good luck my dear--i'm sure you'll be rockin' those heels by April!

Belle Armed said...

darling, u dont need to lose any weight!

Sisters and Sisters said...

Yess that would be sooo great :) Too bad that isn't real!


Venus In Virgo said...

Sorry your post got erased but thanks for your comments! See you at Home Depot, bring a snare so we can trap a hard case hunk who refuses to cooperate. We shall abduct him! mwuhahahaha! XOXO

Nia Langley said...

Best wishes with the weight loss! Working out is really a lot of fun no matter what people say :) haha

Shoe said...

Wow! That's a crazy good bribe... Good luck and I hope you win your shoes! (The ones in the picture are gorgeous, by the way!)



Annabel said...

wow, good luck! i'm sure you can do it! If manolo's are the reward that's pretty good motivation haha :)
just found your blog and love it!

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

I wish you luck. But the truth is, you look wonderful now.

If the shoes will make you happy, then here's to shedding weight.

RETRO REVA said...

oh my gosh, totally worth the bribe.
I too am trying to lose 3 inches ( about 15 lbs. from my waist )
here's my trick to losing it
( i did it last year and everyone thought i was too thin, crazy right?)
I drank a boost ( strwberry ) in the waking hour, then spent all day on the computer, did my photos in the late evening (dinner time be damned) then ate dinner as usual.
bang. size 10 to a 4/6 !
Now that I'm back to loose 10'a and tight 8's the time is due again.
Plus my triglyerides were out-of-controll from all the sugar i have been eating ( my wekaness)
good luck!!!!

Louise said...

Good luck! great reward :D

Sophia's Lover said...

Sizzling hot chocolate
and coffee with a dash of liquer.
A snowfall
winter in paris
chocolate chaux en hiver
ballet slippers hanging from
the ballet bars
a grammophone left playing
while no ones in the room.


Moniek said...

Good luck girl! I want to lose some weight too, just to get toned for this summer!

Fashion Fabrice said...

hi there darling:) I like!such a fabulous idea of your dad!!:) i hope you succeed and get the shoes!!:) We're hosting a giveaway on our blog by the way! Come and take a look and join to win :)


SMASH said...

aw, good luck Jen! I bribe myself with rewards all the time and its the only way I get any work done--but hey, it works! I've got faith on your girl, you can totally do it :)


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Anonymous said...

Ha.....What a great Post! :-)
Would have ♥ to have been there to see that 'Black Eyed Peas' dance! :-)

baci ♥ Brad

Elisse said...

Good luck with meeting your weight loss goal! I'm halfway towards meeting mine, but I'm not as lucky as you to have Manolo's to motivate me!

Hannah said...

I'm also working on losing weight for spring!
We can do it!

Thanks for commenting on my blog! I follow you now!


Anonymous said...

oh my goodness good luck!!! im confident in you doing this!!

great blog...definitely a new follower :-)

<3 megan

modern.girl said...

i've been trying to lose weight also, and recently started exercising and eating right. i hate it! i love food so much it's like daily torture trying to keep the salad down in my stomach. sigh... at least for you, there will be a light at the end of the tunnel. maybe i should buy myself something nice after i reach my goal.


she851518 said...

You have really great work on fashion, I have also some Fashion News on my blog

Jaime @ La vie...J'aime said...

good luck! it's a great goal nad great reward!!!

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