Journalist. Mother. Bunny enthusiast. Pop culture junkie.

Journalist. Mother. Bunny enthusiast. Pop culture junkie.

Saturday, January 26, 2013

My Favorite (Fake) Hollywood Couples

I'm bored with most of the celeb couples who exist today.

Aren't you tired of Brangelina and their generic over-the-counter version?

Or, Justin Timberlake and that girl from 7th Heaven?

I'm yawning already.

I've decided to play Hollywood matchmaker. Call me Cupid. Call me crazy. Call me maybe. I don't care.

These people need to hook up immediately, or nobody gets their money back.

Amy Poehler & George Clooney

When I saw these two canoodling at the Golden Globes a couple weeks ago, I couldn't have been the only person who shouted, "YES!"

These two are perfect for each other. She's adorable. He's adorable. They need to be adorable together.

With his suave, Cary Grant demeanor and her charming sense of humor, they would be the couple everyone wants to be. They would be the couple everyone wants to be around.

And Amy is SO much more fabulous than the latest faceless blonde George Clooney always has by his side. Let's be real.

Lindsay Lohan & Charlie Sheen

They sleep together on the big screen, but perhaps they should be more intimate in real life. After all, they're both fucking crazy. So, they clearly have a lot in common.

I think they would understand each other in a way no one else in the world ever could. Plus, Charlie clearly likes her already, otherwise he wouldn't have spent $100K paying off some of her debts.

If they're both going to be ticking time bombs, why not just put them together and let them explode simultaneously. It would be like ripping off a Band-Aid.

Ben Affleck & Matt Damon

Most of you are probably shocked right now, with your mouth hanging open. "But Jennifer," you say, "I thought Matt and Ben were ALREADY a couple!"

No, my children. Believe it or not, these two claim to just be best friends. Seriously. They're NOT dating!


Taylor Swift & Marilyn Manson

Taylor has had her heart broken by teen idols, who may or may not be gay in real life. Joe Jonas. Taylor Lautner. Harry Styles. Maybe it's time she started sleeping with someone who eats pretty boys for breakfast.

I think if Taylor dated this scary fuck, she'd grow up real fast. Her parents would hate him. She would start dressing goth. Can you imagine the songs that would develp out of this relationship? They'd be weird. Just weird enough that it could re-charge her career and open her up to a whole new audience.

Or fling her fame into oblivion like Manson exes Rose McGowan and Evan Rachel Wood...

Emma Stone & Ryan Gosling

Okay, jokes aside, I'm totally serious about this couple. I know Emma is dating that British kid and Ryan is with that older woman, but they need to ditch those squares and make a circle together.

Their chemistry sparks in Crazy, Stupid, Love and Gangster Squad. They look so good together.

And Emma is the only girl who I would not hate for dating Ryan Gosling. Because if I can't have him, I want her to take my place. I am that selfless.

What do you think of these celebrity couples?


Kim (A Very Sweet Blog) said...

I think George Clooney is gay too. He's always up Brad's ass. Who knows, Angelina probably doesn't mind. HAHAHA Brian Austin Green's haircut is literally whack! What is that? The Hitler cut!?! Great post Jen!

sherene said...

Why not brad pitt and lindsay?lol.
Love the post made me laugh soooo hard!

Alex said...

OMG Charlie Sheen and LiLo. Yes. Perf. And Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone? Sheer perfection. Why aren't they already dating?!

Couture Carrie said...

La Lohan and Charlie Sheen are a match made in heaven (hell?)!


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Milex said...

Megan is mine

Living_in_aShoe said...

You are so right about Emma Stone and Ryan Gosling, I just loved them in Gangster Squad. I think they would be amazing as a couple.

Emma Waldorf said...

Hi! first time here! This post is hilarious. Linds and Charlie LOL

Dawn (Sassy) said...

Girl..I really am loving the post. Excellent!

Thanks for stopping by my blog..appreciate the support.


Sixth Tractate said...

Hello! I came across your wonderful blog and I'm your newest follower! :) Would you mind checking out our blog & following back via GFC and Bloglovin'? Let me know!

Kimberly said...

hahaha this post made me happy! I loveeeed this <3 Thanks for sharing!

can't wait to see more!
Twitter: Sensiblestylist


great photos

Sherin said...

My favourite fake couple is me and Ryan Gosling.
But really, Lindsey Lohan and Charlie Sheen = amazing couple.

GagCloud said...

Nice post sweetie :)
Would you like to follow each other via GFC or more?
Let me know :)


João Elias said...

hey! nice blog :) i'm following you now!
please follow me back!

Bridge Parker said...

Emma and Ryan! Amy and George! Perfect pairs. I totally agree. Thanks so much for stopping by my blog. If you're thinking of coming back by, would you subscribe? I enjoyed your writing and I normally only scroll for pic <<--- guilty. But I will subscribe to yours now.

Bridge Parker said...

xo, Shari

Phioxee said...

Lol on lohan n charlie

but crossin fingerd to ryan n emma:-)

Cafe Fashionista said...

Taylor and Marilyn Manson. Hahahahaha! I think Emma and Ryan actually dated briefly, but I have no clue what happened {this information, of course, is coming straight from tabloids, so who really knows if it's true}. :P

Carmen said...

Haha Charlie and Lindsay xD Lmao!

Vera said...

Very funny post! haha


Beth Dunn said...

I love the idea of Amy and George, it would be fab if he dated someone his own age. and I'm a HUGE emma stone fan. I've never been a brad pitt girl. He is too pretty for me

Tanvi said...

I am think I am totally on board with Emma and Ryan too.

∞ © ∞

Josie said...

I wish more than anything that Amy and George would date -- be still, my heart.
xo Josie

Tinker Bell said...

great post, made me laugh..LINDSAY LOHAN & CHARLIE SHEEN are totally great couple :)) p.s. new follower <3

Miss Laia said...

Hahaha My bet is on Charlie and Lindsay, you are right they would be a complete bomb together.
They can be awesome crazy together and we would never stop laughing at them stupidity.
Great post Jenny.

Ileana said...

I LOVE this post!!! You made me laugh a loT!
I think george and amy, and emma and ryan are great ideas :D
Though I loved amy with ehr ex :(

Panty Buns said...

Lindsay Lohan and Charlie Sheen as a couple would be TMZ's dream come true, and I think they'd all be entertaining. I didn't see my dream celebrity couple there though. Maybe Katy Perry and Demi Moore would be a good couple. I'm dying to see Katy kiss another girl and have another chart-topping song singing about it!

The Dainty Dolls House said...

Haha! I love George Clooney, since Facts of Life!! Loved this post :) x

Bravoe Runway said...

I love this celebrity match making post.....and he's I would be slightly terrified yet intrigued of Taylor and Marilyn got really intrigued.

Tights Lover said...

I love these! And I'll resist the urge to make a "still legal in Massachusetts" joke about Matt and Ben...

I'm smacking myself for having never thought of the Sheen/Lohan pair. This needs to happen! How has it not yet? Is there anything we can do to make it happen?!

Oh to Be a Muse said...

I agree that Emma and Ryan looked great together in Crazy, Stupid, Love. And I really do love the both of them. But I actually kind of like the Gos with Eva. I think they look adorbs.

Rachel @ The Redhead Fashionista said...

George and Amy look adorable in those photos together though!
And Taylor Swift and Marilyn Manson? FRIGHTENING! I could only imagine the songs she would write about him.

FashionJazz said...

I have missed your posts!! I hope you well hun, I just did a new post on my blog explaining for my sudden blog break... :(

Anonymous said...

Beautiful couples!

I'm following you already ! would you like to follow me back?

Venus Loves Virgo said...

Hey you, how's it going in 2013? This post was hysterical. You made my day XOXO

Blond Duck said...

You know what's weird? Taylor and Marilyn totally make sense to me.

Mouthwash said...

You said Ryan Gosling, and I forgot everything else.


I freaking loved this post!! STILL laughing over Taylor Swift and Marylin Manson. YES PLEASE!

Chic 'n Cheap Living said...

Yes to Emma and Ryan! They are too cute!

Chic 'n Cheap Living

Arielle-HumblePieVintage said...

I really hate that Gosling is with Eva Mendes. I don't think she's good enough for him. I would be perfectly happy if he got with Emma Stone.
I would support the Ben and Matt relationship, but I don't want to break up Ben and Jennifer. I think that would cause the world to end.
I was just saying today, I wish Taylor would date the opposite of who she's been dating. Throw in Sean Penn, Christopher Walken, Alex Trebek, etc.

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