Journalist. Mother. Bunny enthusiast. Pop culture junkie.

Journalist. Mother. Bunny enthusiast. Pop culture junkie.

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Don't look! I'm naked!

A little while ago, a friend of mine deleted his blog.

He accidentally posted a link to it on a social network site and although he deleted the link before anybody saw it, he still panicked and deleted his entire blog, just to be safe. His blog topic was intensely private, he blogged under a secret persona, and he didn't want anyone in his family to know about it.

As a fan, it saddened me to see the blog disappear. After all, this blogger had spent years accumulating hundreds and hundreds of posts on a topic very few people know about. It was like an encyclopedia! And now, all gone!

But as a blogger, I understood his action.

I'm semi-anonymous on this blog. Believe it or not, my real name isn't really Jennifer Fabulous.

It's Angelina Jolie.


JUST KIDDING.

My real name is Jennifer. But I have a different last name. It's unique, so I don't put it here. After all, I'm a reporter and the last thing I want is for people I interview to google me and come across my personal blog. I say unsavory words like "fuck" and "shit" and "Kim Kardashian" on here. I reveal personal stories about my life. I make fun of people who need to be made fun of.

I keep it real. Too real for people in my real life to handle.

You know what I mean?

It's the same reason people in my family don't know about my blog.

I literally created this blog as an escape from my life. So I could vent and cry and laugh and be myself, without having fear that people closest to me are judging me.

If my family found out about my blog, I wouldn't kill my blog like my friend did, but the tone of this blog would change. It would make blogging less fun. I would always have my guard up, wondering if my dad is disgusted by the amount of cuss words I use or if my mom thinks I'm being too silly or whatever. (That is actually what my mom said when she read my diary in 1999. I'm silly).

I love my parents, of course. But let's be real, a girl needs a place where she can be silly.


So, that's why I remain a little bit anonymous online.

It has me wondering too, if I'm alone.

Are there a lot of bloggers out there who hide their blog from their family? Their friends? Their pets?

If so, why?

If someone in your real world discovered your blog, how would you feel?

Tell me.

27 comments:

Kim Alston said...

With my first blog, I did that. HaHaHa It should've been called A Very SAD Blog! HaHaHa I was getting over a bad relationship and such and vented. But everyone knows about this one. However, the focus is a little different! I'm doing reviews of stuff, so I don't mind sharing. I can understand about you and your friend. Ok, Jennifer! Your middle name has to be FABULOUS...because that you are girly girl!
http://www.averysweetblog.com/

Kate S. said...

When I did blog my mom followed me and was even a guest blogger a couple of times. But my mom is pretty awesome. I never wrote anything I wouldn't say out loud. I'm also an actor tho so my family is pretty used to me saying/doing questionable or strange things in a public space :D

Chloe Moon said...

Well you know I blog as Chloe Moon, but I'm really Melanie. I did this because my other blog where I did use my real name got so out of hand & ridiculous with my family & friends that I couldn't keep up with the drama. If I missed a phone call, a friend would be like Oh so I read in your blog you were here...why didn't you invite me or why didn't you tell me..etc. My boyfriend's got a hold of my blog even though I told her no and then every time I wrote anything about our relationship in a constructive way she panicked. It was just too much & I felt like I had to censor myself which I didn't want to do.

I blog now at Ergo... and honestly I've never been happier keeping my anonymity. My mom reads my new blog and that's just fine. My boyfriend knows about my blog and I talk about what I write with him so there is no mystery or new anxiety if he actually reads a post here or there. I don't tell my friends about it because I don't want a repeat of before. My lil blog is me...my real thoughts even though it's not my name! =)

Ergo - Blog

Bunny Moreno said...

Well it would be cute if my name was really Bunny but you know its not hehe It is my pet name from my hubby though and I even call my daughter that name as well. I never put my children's names in my blog either. My name is VERY rare. Honestly I do believe I am the only one in the entire U.S. of A that has my name the way it is spelled so although sometimes I feel silly having a stage name-I think it was a very good decision to be made. I am also thinking of opening up a PO Box-even though it would be annoying to go once a week and get mail from there-I don't like spreading my real name around.

Unfortunately, my father in law googled me and somehow linked me with Bunny and now my husband's family knows. I don't like it but I won't let them stop me from being me bc then what is the fun of blogging. They began to question how I paid for things and judged me as usual but they can kiss my big booty. I don't care anymore what they think. My dad knows but he thinks I am weird which is good hehe He gets me and why I do it. Otherwise, just my good and close friend from my everyday world know about it. I wonder sometimes what my former employers would say about me being Bunny. I say that bc they are nuns hehe Ahhhh anyhoo-so sorry your friend had to erase it-it hurt just to rd that he did-boo on that-but perhaps there are better things in store for him ;) xox

Blaze Dawson said...

I'm sorry your friend had to delete his entire blog. I guess I try to be semi anon with my blog. I have never posted a link to my blog on Facebook or anywhere else. But I do use my real name (now) and on the third page of google, sure enough is my blog. But if someone I didn't want was reading my blog, whether it be a friend, enemy, or family, I honestly don't know what I would do. So I can't really say since I haven't been in that situation? Maybe put my blog on private and somehow let people request to see it? I don't know, life is too hard. Can't even express yourself fully. Pisses me off really.
www.kawaiicoffee.blogspot.com

Shannon said...

My blog is totally open to friends and family, but I keep it pretty tame.

My rule is that I imagine my grandma and boss reading it. It keeps me in line. :)

anks said...

I know exactly what you mean... ppl you know will read it, draw their own inferences and it will impact your interaction with them.. i am now guarded and cautious on the blog... sad really!

JenniH said...

This is quite difficult subject. I keep my blog quite anon, since only selected friends and family members know it exists. I haven't told my parents nor anyone at work about it. I haven't exactly revieled where I live. One has to have a place for her own thoughts, just as you said. I am also a bit scared of what would happen if people found out who I really am. Well, my life isn't that amazing but still I don't want everyone to know what I do for a living or who I am getting married with. I am so sad to hear that your friend had to delete the entire blog. It is a bit like burning up a diary.

The Grande Dame said...

All my friends & family know about my blog but I am hesitant about having my real name out there in Web Land. I don't like the idea of advertising my real name although I have nothing to hide, and fake fun names are, well, fun to use! I feel my use of the name The Grande Dame adds to the tone & look of my blog.
I hope I never have cause to delete my blog and I hope you don't either Jennifer Fabulous :)

Couture Carrie said...

Love how you keep it real, darling!

xoxox,
CC

The Dainty Dolls House said...

I'm semi-anonymous on my blog. 'Doll' is sadly not my real last name, hahah. Kizzy is my middle name actually as well. I don't post pictures of my children ever like many other blogs do, it creeps me out actually. I share little bits of my life and stuff, but not the whole picture. I think it's better that way to be honest. We can't possibly share everything on here. My husband follows my blog, he only looks at it when I have photos he's taken on here, haha. No one else in my family knows about it. I think I'm more caged off now than I was when I first started, all these spam comments and people only wanting a follower have closed me off a bit. Have a great day doll x

Josie said...

I totally understand. I don't usually tell people about my blog (although it is on my resume; I keep it professional enough that I'm okay with that). And I almost NEVER say anything personal.
xo Josie
www.winksmilestyle.com

Rosh S said...

Hey Jennifer, like you, my family does not know about my blog except my hubby. Of course mine is more of a fashion blog, but I do put my feelings there sometimes. And in general, I just want something that is mine (I dont mind sharing with my hubby) and where my family wont give their opinion - whether good or bad. Maybe thats selfish? But I need my space and so my blog stays a secret from my family. :)

ravenlocks said...

I guess I'm semi-anon as well too. Only my boyfriend knows about it...he takes my pictures.

My friends knew about my last blog...especially if they googled my full name. It didn't last very long....is it a coincidence that when my sister in law discovered my blog it disappeared?? I still don't know why my blog and old email disappeared. I don't want to point any fingers, but that woman is psycho. I don't use that word lightly, either.

Honestly, there are so many different reasons why I don't use my full name. I don't mind my current followers knowing my name (I have a link to my website and stuff) but I don't want people that already know me to read my blog. Fashion bloggers are less judgmental than those who live around me.

And there is SO much drama in my extended family that I'd rather not give them any fuel to add to the fire. They judge me and spread evil nasty rumors about me and my immediate family. They especially like to kick us when we're down. So the less they know...the better. Plus, my last name is very well known here because a relative of mine owns a winery. Everywhere I go people think I'm a wealthy, spoiled heiress. I most certainly am not.

When I had a facebook and a myspace, my sister in law used to make things up and tell my family (through my brother). She would criticize everything I would do and make a big deal about it. I eventually began to censor myself and not be as "social" on both of those sites. I HATED THAT. I've also had problems with other people where they act just plain childish. Some girls were just jealous that my boyfriend liked me and not them. You know...stupid stuff ;)

So there ya go...now you know more about me.

xo Azu

ravenlocks said...

PS.

I'm thrilled we both share a love for Nanette Lepore. You should check out the website. They have great sales!

And I'm glad that you enjoyed my other comment about your work/writing. I meant every word :)

Laia said...

Well just some people know about my blog, not everyone of course, but it is different because I rarely write about myself...so I don't think it will delete it if someone realizes.
I agree with Kim, your middle name should be fabulous hahaha.
kisses and spend a great Easter

Sherin said...

Mine was hidden from friends and family for so long. Then it wasn't. A few friends were a bit 'eugh, that's such a waste of time, and you're blog isn't that great', but everyone else was really supportive.

i.s. said...

thanks for commenting on my blog! i'm now following you - hope you follow back xx
www.vicariousLA.com

Ali of Dressing Ken said...

Very interesting post and funny. Ha no my blog is totally out there but not overly personal I actually treat it is a job. Trying to transition out of graphics and get in to content development, online editing,etc.

Following on Bloglovin you have be intrigued.

Ali of

www.dressingken.com

David Macaulay said...

Hmmm the title drew me to this one lol - yes this is a dilemma - mine is under my name but sometimes I meet relatives who are like "I love your blog" - then I panic because I may be writing critical things re someone they know.

Blond Duck said...

My family knows about it. That's why I'm careful what I write. It not only effects me, it effects Ben's career.

sherene said...

My husband is the only one who knows my blog, he sometimes read when he's browsing my Ipad ( i dont log out eh ).
My inlaws knows nothing about it and I wonder what will they say, no matter i dont talk bad about them anyways lol.
I used to post my blog in my fb account, but now no more.

Jo said...

I totally understand why your friend had to do that. There are simply too many people out there like you who blog semi-anonymously too. The real life person must never be linked to the online persona.

My blog is more of a lifestyle blog and hence whatever I share on my blog would be stuff I'm ok in letting people know. My blog became more public especially since a case whereby I had an incident in my life being reported in the local newspapers. When it became so public, I decided to be proudly public and started opening myself and making more blog friends. The buzz has since died down but I've gained lots of lovely blog friends and some pleasant strangers/lurkers on my blog.

ROXTHEFOX said...

LOL 'KIM KARDASHIAN'... I'm with you on this. Only 3 of my friends know about my blog and that's because they take my photos. No one in my family knows.

Lately, all of my friends have found out about my blog through stalking, and turns out, my family all around the world also likes to stalk me and somehow found it. It was the sole reason for why I disabled my blog for 2.5 months. I had decided that there was no way I could continue to be online while my family and friends were reading. I, too, wanted a form of escape, somewhere where I could be uncensored and free of judgement.

It has def changed the tone of my blog. For example, I had a ton of vagina jokes that I wanted to post in today's post, but had to hold myself back. Do'h!

WWW.ROXTHEFOX.COM

Sierra {Ocean Dreams} said...

Where do I even begin with this topic?! A long time ago my blog was private...but then I made a big mistake and attached my e-mail to my blog name and my other social media accounts and BAM! Some friends and relatives found my blog when I didn't want them to. Damn. Ever since then I haven't been nearly as personal as I used to be. However, I still blog about what I love. I'm just more guarded. I'm okay with this. I think that's what is healthy for me. However, there are times I just need to vent...but now that is what I use my journal for lol. I learned my lesson the hard way. Glad you've maintained your privacy. It's better that way!

Anonymous said...

thanks for share..

Megan Mae said...

When I first started my blog, it was under a pseudonym. I didn't write personal things for a really long time. It was solely focused on documenting my attempt to turn my teenage style into a better personal style.

The more I blogger, the more friends I made - I realized I could either withdraw and keep things super vague, or be extremely visible and out about who I was and what I was about. I say 'bad' things on my blog often, tell my family about my blog and why I am taking photos in front of various brick walls. ;)

But I figured owning up to my own online image would give me some amount of personal credibility.

Sure I still have some places online where I use a different name, unattached from my known ones. We all need those little escapes.

I do find it weird when one of my "IRL" friends has mentioned something that has appeared on my blog, but it generally passes since no one really reads it often. Also my mom doesn't have internet! Not that she'd care of course. She'd egg me on!