Journalist. Mother. Bunny enthusiast. Pop culture junkie.

Journalist. Mother. Bunny enthusiast. Pop culture junkie.

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

The truth.

I've been gone for a really long time.

Have you noticed?

I know I don't really owe an explanation of sorts. I mean, bloggers are entitled to a break, right?

But if you're still reading this blog, it means you probably care, so I'm going to tell you.

I'm depressed.

There it is, in black and white. Well, pink.

I have several (fifteen to be exact, I actually made a fucking list) major problems going on in my life right now that cannot be easily solved. It's a complicated hot mess involving mistakes I made in the past, a severe lack of finances, and family issues.

And I'm crushed underneath it all.

As a result, I just don't care about anything anymore. I avoid my friends. I have no desire to write personally or blog. I'm not in the mood to learn about anything.

When I'm not working, I'm guzzling black tea and listlessly reading Jane Austen fan fiction novels. Or, you know, sobbing into a pillow.

Anyway, I thought you should know the reason for my unexplained absence.

Tonight is my first step back into writing. I don't have the energy to research doomed starlets or fabulous gay men anymore. I'm sorry.

But since I can't afford therapy, perhaps spilling my soul onto this screen will help me in another way.

I can't let my unhappiness win.

I don't want it to.

15 comments:

opal said...

Take care...will wait patiently for your posts...they say time is the best healer...

opal said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Dainty Dolls House said...

Oh doll...I hope you'll be able to pull yourself through it all. I know life can crush us like a bug sometimes....it's shit and we don't always know when or how we'll get out of it, but we do. And i know you will too. Take your time and go slowly, you'll get there. BIG hugs and love to you...

Shybiker said...

I'm sorry, dear. That's rough. I've found that when I was going through hard times, blogging helped. It reminded me of beauty in the world and the existence of nice people. Perhaps returning to your blog can be therapeutic for you, too. Either way, I hope your life improves and your spirits lift.

Shannon said...

Oh lady! I'm so so so incredibly sorry to hear you're going through this.

Please hang in there. Do it for the fabulous gays. Do it for the sad starlets. Do it for me, the patient reader....but mostly - do it for yourself. <3

Vivienne Z said...

Aww Jenn :( I did wonder where you'd disappeared to, and kept checking back time and again, hoping you'd returned. I know words sound empty right now, but you'll pull through. It won't turn out as bad as you imagine it to. Coincidentally, I recently read about a new research find where they said people who blog, with actively commenting readers, have lower depression levels than those who blog with the comments turned off, or write an offline digital diary. You're at the right place for you self-therapy, here!

SR said...

You're one of the most interesting people I know. I'm not letting you give up like that, just write it out - dont share it with us if you don't want to but dont stop writing, in a way that;s who you are. A great writer.
In times of great stress and great joy, Jen, you are completely surrounded by loved ones in the unseen who adore and support you, wanting to share whatever you're experiencing.

So at those times, if you can remember to be calm and quiet and go within, you'll feel them, you'll remember them, and you'll benefit most from their presence.

Swarnali said...

I missed reading all your candid and extremely entertaining posts. *tight hug* I hope you feel better soon, take your time and come back when you want to.

Oh to Be a Muse said...

Oh Jen, I know how you feel. Although I'm sure your problems are different. But I was in such a rut a couple weeks ago, and I was so tired of every single thing. But the blog is a good way to get your feelings out--free therapy as you said--and hopefully things will start looking up.

Maybe you should go on a TV show (only half kidding)--wasn't that presented to you not long ago?

Oh to Be a Muse
Shop Layered Muse

Vix said...

I miss you, Stay strong, we'll be here when you're ready to blog. x

Sherin said...

Awwww oh no! I hope it all works out for you! Remember - you have an ear in me to listen to anything you want to talk about!

Meredith R said...

Ah, Jen I'm sorry! I hope you have some supportive friends nearby and are able to take baby steps to help you feel back to normal. You're welcome to come for a therapeutic weekend in Chicago once I settle in! xoxo

DrunkethWizerd said...

Have you tried drinking Pumpkin beers?

Johanna V said...

I'm sorry to hear you're going through such a hard time. I have an idea how it feels, it's not all dancing through life here either. But I hope - no, I'm sure - that you will find the strength to pull through it all. If you feel like blogging while trying to solve things, that's awesome, and it doesn't matter what you write about, you're always fabulous and super talented :) Let me know if there's anything I can do to give at least a sparkle of happiness to your life ♥ Take care babe.

The Grande Dame said...

Ergh, depression is just awful. I'm so sorry you're having to deal with it. I really hope you're able to find someone/somewhere to help you through everything. I've dealt with it all my life so I know how tough it can get at time. Do hang in there *big hugs* and feel free to email me if you want to vent or blow off steam about anything.