Journalist. Mother. Bunny enthusiast. Pop culture junkie.

Journalist. Mother. Bunny enthusiast. Pop culture junkie.

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

What is real? What is fake?

We all know it's been an awful year for me. I could list all the shit that's happened, but I don't want to bore you. You know.

There have also been some good times.

There have also been times I couldn't bring myself to blog about. Mostly regarding Kerrie.

We've interesting year.

But I can't keep secrets.

So, instead, I thought I would play a game with you.

For each season of 2010, I will give you two stories. One of the stories is true. The other is not. You have to guess.

Have fun!

Winter 2010

Kerrie and I were key witnesses in an attempted murder trial, regarding a mutual friend and her ex-boyfriend. We were watching a movie at my apartment when he came over and started yelling at our friend because she wanted to break up. When Kerrie called the cops, he chased our friend around the apartment with a knife, while Rian tried to tackle him. He eventually fled, but the police caught up with him 20 minutes later and arrested him. Kerrie and I had to stay at an undisclosed location for two days before the trial took place, because he had threatened our lives as well.


After a couple bottles of champagne at a New Year's Eve party, Kerrie and I snuck into my ex-boyfriend's house, after finding the key under his welcome mat. He was visiting relatives in Africa at the time, so we simply ran around the house, drank all his liquor, tried on his sister's expensive designer clothes, and then passed out on his staircase at 3 a.m.

Spring 2010

Kerrie and I found ourselves at the wrong place at the wrong time one afternoon. It resulted in us being chased by the cops, an ongoing investigation that lasted five months, and thousands of dollars spent in legal fees to fight a felony charge and six months in jail. Our lawyer was a wise-crackin' bad ass from New Jersey who only defended drug lords and serial killers. We were a special case for him because he owed my ex-boyfriend a favor. In August, the state finally admitted we were wrongfully accused because of shoddy police work and the case was dismissed. We never even received an apology and the law prohibits us from suing.


Kerrie and I briefly met a very famous fashion designer who was in town visiting her parents (she grew up here). In order to do so, that morning Kerrie and I had pretended to be architecture students from the nearby university and we had convinced the hotel's manager to give us a tour of the historical hotel. We snuck into the hotel later that night and went straight to the presidential suite, armed with a camera. We were incredibly excited. We knocked on the door and announced we were maids. When she opened the door, we saw she was with a man who was not her husband. She was PISSED and yelled for her assistant. Her assistant cornered us in the hallway and threatened to call the police. To save our ass, we signed a confidentiality agreement which said we would not go to the press with what we saw, in exchange for this designer not calling the police on us.

Summer 2010

Kerrie ended up dating a guy for less than a week. It started out sweet because she thought he was a nice guy. But weird things started happening. He sent a picture of himself smiling with the caption "I miss you" but she noticed photos of herself in the background. When she asked him about the photos, he said he had taken them from her facebook profile and had enlarged them to poster size for his bedroom wall. After asking him more questions, she found out that he had been creepily obsessed with her for more than two years prior, without her even knowing it. She had thought they were just casual acquaintances beforehand. She broke it off immediately. He was so outraged, he left a knife and a decapitated Barbie Doll on her doorstep as a warning.


While visiting her grandparents in Miami for two weeks, Kerrie became friends with a girl a few years older than her. This girl was a model (not famous) and dating a married man. This girl took Kerrie to a few clubs around Miami and they became facebook friends. A month and a half later, this girl was murdered after attending a Lady Gaga concert in Texas. It was national news. Kerrie was so creeped out, she refused to be home alone for a month after hearing about it.

Fall 2010

I kissed a girl (and I liked it).


My gay best friend confessed to me that he's in love with me and wants to get married and move immediately to Santa Fe, where we will live happily ever after and have lots of children.

So...what is real and what is fake? You'll never really know. We'll never talk!

Oh, and this post is going to self-destruct in less than 30 seconds.

Kerrie and I can't wait until next year. ;)


Lightning Bug's Butt said...

True stories are: 1,2,2,1

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

No matter which are true, you live a fascinating life. That's quite a year!

JUST ME said...

Haven't we all kissed a girl and liked it? ;)

Your 2011 is going to be brighter, mama. I just KNOW it.

Missy said...

oh i dont know! i cant wait to find out the true ones!

Blending Style, Celebs and Fashion

David L Macaulay said...

err 2,2,1, 1 - either way you have a more interesting life than moi

mariahsmile said...

hahaha this is great! all the stories are so interesting that i don't even know which ones to believe! hope next year is as exciting for ya! ...or not, depending if you were happy with all that!

Venus In Virgo said...

Fabulous idea! I'm pretty sure the murder witness story was fake, riiight? Lol! Your the most interesting person that I have met in a long time, love ya! looking forward to blogging in 2011 with you. have a fabulous New years! XOXO

Liv said...

Why must you toy with me so?! Damn girl, that's one vida loca you got there!

Sherin said...

Hehe. Loved this. Although, wondering at the amount of crime you've mentioned, lol. But looks like you have some pretty cool times. If we're ever in the same country, we have to do something epic.

Ahh, I really have no idea what's true and what's false. But here are my guesses:

a: #2
b: #2 (if this is true, this is legendary!!)
c: #1
4: #1

Hope you have an amazing 2011.

Dahl said...

ooh this is juicy! True stories are:
Winter: #2
Spring: #1
Summer: #1
Fall: #2

Well, I guess I'll never know, but this was a really compelling post (not to be weird). Hope 2011 is better for you :)

Bella y Cecile said...

this is the most interesting blog i've ever found!!
I thing that stories 2, 2, 1 and 2 are true.. but we won't ever know hahaha
we're following you :)

Jennifer said...

oHmyGosh! I don't even know how to guess on these! I'm still getting to know your wild and crazy self (looove it!) but this was like reading a spicy novel -- you've had a crazy year -- let's hear it for 2011. I hope it rocks your socks off!

Jenn @ Peas & Crayons

Mouthwash said...

WOW! All these stories sounds so amazing - so either way. You two live crazy interesting lives! I need to come hang out with you guys!


The Shanner of Attention said...

LMAO - no matter which ones are true, your creativity astounds me.

And I hope nobody died at a Lady Gaga concert. I'm going to one in March. :D

indianmakeupways said...

those are some really mad stories u got there!! hope u get a chance to spin more & more enjoyable stories this coming year. happy new year wishes in advance :)

Hot Cake Fashion, Tulip Dress to me... said...

Happy 'little bit late, sorry' Birthday!! Good timing, having your birthday so close to Chritsmas:-)I guess that story no 2 is true, why not.sneaking in to your ex:s house and stir it up a little..well done, a great post! Happy New Year!! Big Hugs..Alice

DeVero said...

So great post! You should write a book I think!

♥Happy new year!♥

btd. said...

Winter: 1
Spring: 2
Summer: 1
Fall: 1
Watch me be totally wrong, lol. They're all great stories whether they be true or fake. Great idea! :)

Couture Carrie said...

Very creative and fun post, darling!
Love it!

Best wishes for 2011!


Alicia said...

Here's hoping your 2011 has a lot more friendly designers and a lot less death threats!

Rachel said...

Oh, wow! No matter which stories are true, it sounds like you ladies had some crazy times this year!

I hope 2011 is a much, much better year for you, Jennifer! :)

SMASH said...

Haha aw Jen you always have the best blog entries! You're a great writer, you know. The hijinks you and Kerrie get into are priceless :)

Happy New Year girl!


Fashion, Art and other fancies said...

What a colourful life you lead;-)
I so enjoyed reading especially stories 2,2,1.

Cafe Fashionista said...

You and Kerrie have far too many fabulous adventures! As far as truths...for Winter 2010 I go with number 2; for Spring 2010 I go with Number 2; for Summer 2010 I go with Number 1; for Fall 2010 I go with Number 1. :P

Happy, Happy New Year, my love!! :)

Venus In Virgo said...

Happy New Years! Come Enter my contest for a free New Year Russian Fortune Reading XOXO

OceanDreams said...

You are killing me Jen, i want to know what really happened!

Punctuation Mark said...

wishing you the best in 2011 and for you to have lots of fun and success in everything you do!

Josie said...

I love you and Kerrie. LOVE YOU. Seriously, I'm obsessed with the two of you and your insane friendship... I'm guessing 2, 2, 2, 1 -- but who really knows with the two of you crazy girls? Wishing you many more adventures next year!
xo Josie

Anonymous said...

hey, I hope #1 for fall was true! :)