Journalist. Mother. Bunny enthusiast. Pop culture junkie.

Journalist. Mother. Bunny enthusiast. Pop culture junkie.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Helplessness Blues



Have you ever felt like you were stuck between two worlds? An old world and a new world? And you're not quite sure when the old one ended and when the new one will begin?

I'm trapped in time, just waiting. It's an odd feeling. The months have just glided by so quickly and so effortlessly.

Last night, I spent the night at my parents' house. My mom and I got drunk until 4 a.m., just like the old days. It used to be our ritual, from the time I was 17 until the time I moved out three years ago. Pink wine and late night movies.

We think we are so brilliant and philosophical during these nights. We talk with great importance about things which really aren't that fascinating. We come up with theories about family secrets we will never know.

And somewhere in the midst of my drunken oblivion last night, I realized my life was bundled up in this time warp.

Now I'm extremely tired. My lack of energy this year has been astounding.

Oh, and... May 3rd will not come soon enough. One of my favorite bands, Fleet Foxes, releases their new album that day. Check them out. Good shit.

Listen to this song and dream.


33 comments:

Josie said...

Hope everything is okay, Jen. I know you'll push through.
xo Josie

lalabang said...

:/ I'm stuck too.. hugs!

Savvy Gal said...

Just wishing you a wonderful day!

Kristy said...

Naturally you would love the fleet foxes.. SO DO I! I am actually obsessed with them and their harmonies and ugh.. Okay, back to the post. I know how you feel, sometimes I feel like my life has run me over and is going so fast its forgot about who I used to be or what I used to like or what I used to do. I just go with it now, although I miss the way things were theres nothing I can do.. right? I am lost in my attempt at being philosophical (fail) must be the wine x

myheartstumbles.blogspot.com

Alicia said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Alicia said...

I've had that feeling since October when I got laid off. Because of grad school ending in June and me not being able to really start working as a teacher until next September, I'm stuck in this weird spot where I'm working really hard yet not getting paid. I turn to wine and feeling nostalgic about the days when not getting paid just meant no responsibility and sleeping until 11 every morning. Sigh... At least I'm old enough to buy my own, nice wine now though! :)

Olga said...

Beautiful song. I was between worlds so many times in my life.
Best wishes for you!

Dahl said...

Are we like almost the same person? This is so crazy, I've been having that same feeling since January--that I'm stuck between two lives. I used to be this shy, quiet, weird person but now I don't know who I am...and it's like I'm just waiting for something to happen but I don't know what, and I keep on waiting but its not happening so I feel sad. Gosh this sounds depressing, It's probably not helping you at all, but I do hope things get better! Awesome song, by the way.

thechyrelgomez said...

things will get better, for sure. virtual hug from me to you.

lifeontherocks said...

wishing u the very best in life & am sure u will sort all ur problems out :)

David L Macaulay said...

I used to be lethargic Jen, but now I can't be bothered. But seriously hope you are doing OK mate. But how cool is it having a mother who drinks until 4 am? Mine hardly ever drink - so I guess your mom's idea of a great day out would be getting pissed at the fair.

Vivek Nanda said...

Trapped between the old and the new, I think this happens to everyone. Good thing is almost everyone comes out of it steadily even thought we are not fabricated of any such training..I hope and wish you too discover the right for you soon and come out of the juxtaposition.

Andrés Corella said...

Everything will be alright dont worry..I loved the song you have an awesome taste in music, you really do

xx
Andy
The Black Label

Fashion, Art and other fancies said...

Here's hoping you find your path again on the "Life Train" - You have an enormous amount of inner strength. Being between worlds is a state we all go through - it allows for growth and further understanding ogf our inner selves, if we use that time wisely. XX

Nicole✗✗ said...

I hope everything is going well. Everything will come together, I promise. I love those moments with my mom as well. When I was younger we used to stay up late and make fun of the infomercials. haha, sounds like crap but it was fun at the time. The song was fantastic, thanks for introducing them to us!! : )

Sarah said...

Keep smiling my dear! Fleet Foxes are amazing :)
x

F. said...

Yes, sometimes I feel like you too..

xoxo F.

Vanilla said...

I'm going through a bit of a blue moment too, but I try to think that it won't be like this forever... :) hugs! for you

Love, Vanilla

btd. said...

I do know that feeling... Unfortunately. Maybe I should get drunk too.

Cafe Fashionista said...

Ohmigosh Fleet Foxes...I love. Kepp your chin up, Jen; things will get better! :)

jos xx said...

love the way you write on your posts! i also loved the song you posted, never heard of the band but they are really good :)

jos xx

shooting star said...

happens!!!...happened to me too after i just got married....took me while to adjust between both my worlds!!

Movies on my Mind said...

I saw Fleet Foxes in London in 2008when they were releasing their first album. Robin Pecknold is amazing. I got to talk to him backstage but he was a shy guy. Incredible voice though.

Bonnie said...

I kind of know how you feel. Grad school constantly gives me the feeling of being stuck. I feel like I have two sides of myself -- one side is this horribly stressed out, super busy, super focused grad student who is completely wrapped up in research ALL the damn time; the other side is this fist-pumping, breakdancing, crazy, fucked up, fun person who is super hyper and loves to be weirdly random.

Does that make sense?

Let's run away to Hawaii together.

http://www.glamkittenslitterbox.com/
Twitter: @GlamKitten88

yiqin; said...

Everything will be fine *hugs

Tights Lover said...

Wow. You got me thinking.

It's been seven years since I moved out of my parents place. First I owned a condo, but now I've been living in a house for almost a year. I might actually be stuck between three worlds.

Its such a weird feeling being a visitor in a house I grew up in, seeing people for the first time in a week (or a month) that I used to see every single day, or walking into my old room and seeing some of the things still there as I had left it. In a lot of ways I feel homeless sometimes now.

Enjoy these moments with your mom. It's definitely time worth savoring, as weird as it may feel sometimes.

lauren lanza osias said...

sometimes the world gets to you, but you will bounce back to life. just be patient and start focusing on the things that really matter to YOU. and do good things for yourself. you'll have your life and energy back asap.

http://laurenlanzaosias.blogspot.com
my night out with brooke davis...

JUST ME said...

Is there something you can do to change things up while you're waiting for the Universe to push things forward?

Take up cooking?
Take up some kind of gym / class thing?
Start taking long walks at night?
Smoke some weed?

Something that frees your mind up - that lets you see there's a light at the end of the tunnel. Seriously though, pack up your TV for the month. I thought I would die without TV but now that I only have Hulu and the gym televisions, I realize that it was making me lazy.

Thinking of you, sweetness.

Ashley/ MILK TEETHS said...

You need to write a book Jen. Seriously. This sort of misses the point of your post, but the way you described you and your mom made me want to read more. Yours is my favorite blog to actually read through :)

Joellen said...

Love the first photo. I hope you sort things out soon! That reminds me of the show Fringe with parallel universes. Shit can get weird!

xo

Miksu said...

It's hard to grow up mentally, but be strong, you can make it through the bad days!

xx
absofuckinglutely

Stephanie said...

I completely empathize. I feel like the next 12 weeks I'll be spinning my wheels. I just want to finish at work, move, and start over again. I kind of had an epiphany a few months ago where I realized that I want to do something else career-wise. Not sure what that something else is...but I know that I need a change. Ever since I made that decision, I've been waiting for the chance to actually do it!

Sorry you're feeling sad and untethered. Time always goes by faster than we think it will.

SoapyMermaid said...

yeah! i love the fleet foxes. thank you!! :)