Journalist. Mother. Bunny enthusiast. Pop culture junkie.

Journalist. Mother. Bunny enthusiast. Pop culture junkie.

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Just a Girl

I once had a boyfriend get really mad at me and scream,

"You're an estrogen-soaked tampon!"

He went on to rant that I'm so girly, it suffocated him. It was like living inside cotton candy or something.

At the time, I laughed at him. Of course I was girly! Did he want me to be a boy? Good lord.

But lately, I'm beginning to realize what he meant.

I'm not like most girls. I think I'm too much of a girl.

It recently occurred to me that other female news reporters don't show up to interviews wearing floral dresses, using pink feather pens, writing in vintage Barbie notepads, and handing out Tiffany blue business cards. During an interview with two middle-aged city officials this afternoon, I looked up and realized both men were staring at me like I was a unicorn.

And there are other hints that I'm living in cotton candy.

There have been several mornings and afternoons where I get sucked into staring at girly things on the internet for hours. For example, this afternoon I literally spent two hours looking up rabbit-shaped iphone cases. There were polka dot rabbit cases. Pink fluffy-tailed rabbit cases. Glittery turquoise rabbit cases. I didn't buy any of them. I just wanted to look. I was enchanted.

And then I click out of my browser and see my laptop's wallpaper, which is a white fluffy bunny sitting in a bed of pink flowers.

I use Hello Kitty Band-Aids. I know all the names and personalities of the guys in One Direction. I once drove to five different stores until I found Disney Princess sandwich bags. When I'm walking in a store and spot something pink, I stop in my tracks and Rian has to literally drag me away, like I'm a five-year-old.

It's been this way since I was born.

I'm an only child and I didn't interact much with boys growing up.

When I was in high school, I finally found a boyfriend who I thought was absolutely perfect. I couldn't believe I had snagged the ideal guy. He loved to go shopping at the mall with me. He loved Britney Spears as much as I did. Hell, he even knew the dance moves to Baby One More Time better than me! Of course, he turned out gay. So did my next two boyfriends. I had so little in common with straight guys, that I just naturally gravitated towards the gay ones. And I got my heart broken every time.

It wasn't until I was 21 that I learned I was going to have to put up with a straight one if I ever wanted to be in a successful relationship.

And I'm not going to lie. Being around straight guys can be a challenge.

I hate sports. I don't like beer. I could care less about cars. I have absolutely no interest in ever reading Ernest Hemingway. I despise video games. I refuse to drink Mountain Dew. I can't even think of anything else that boys like because they're such a foreign species to me.

And I think one of the reasons I immerse myself in fashion blogs and have befriended so many fashion bloggers is because the community is like home for me. A group of girls (and guys!) who love shopping and pretty clothes and pink stuff! And they talk about it every day! Heaven.

This is me. I can't change me.

But sometimes I worry about my cotton candy world.

What if I suffocate myself?


cricketfreak said...

You remind me of Rebecca bloom wood in the shopaholic series, in the nicest possible way:)

Mouthwash said...

Hi Jen,
Nice to meet you, I'm your twin :)


My first boyfriend was gay too! I think gay boyfriends are the best. They don't burp.

And, where did you find those bunny iphone covers with fluffy tails??

MattieMo said...

I bought two of those iphone bunny cases, white and light orange and everyone at work laughs at me every time they see it. But I love them so much. As much as all the girly things in the world :D

Sherin said...

Firstly, I died laughing that he called you an You're an estrogen-soaked tampon.
But I like being girly too! I went to interview some actors the other day and they said I was dressed fancy. I told them that's how I always dress. It's nice to be girly.

Jade said...

I'm exactly the same but my girly bubble makes me happy so I'm not changing any time soon! I happen to own one of those bunny phone cases and whenever someone saw it and gave me that look, I'd be secretly smug, don't know why. I'm definitely suffocating myself but meh, I'd rather live my sheltered girly life than be a cold, hard person who doesn't have the time to indulge in the pretty things! x

Shannon said...

Be proud of your cotton candy ways. I definitely fit in with the boys, but a little vintage barbie notebook works for me too. :)

Miss Laia said...

What's the problem about being girly? I just love the feeling of a pretty nice floral dress or a ruffled one, the history about them is that they are so simple to care about anything great, god they enjoy watching 12 boys running after a stupid little ball and call that sport, never really talk to each other over coffe and cupcakes, I definitely don't want to be like them.
Kisses and have a great weekend

Fashion Tales said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Alex said...

Don't change. You're fabulous. I love you.

Fashion Tales said...

Love this post. Hey, there's nothing wrong with being girly. Just own it and be you. I used to be a tomboy, so it's hilarious at times to me how girly I turned out! But, I would not change a thing! xo

Couture Carrie said...

I love your girliness, darling!
I need some Hello Kitty Band-Aids :)


Oh to Be a Muse said...

I hadn't realized just how cotton candy girly you were until this post. I'm not super girly like you, but it's great to have girly friends because they allow you to be yourself moreso than tomboys. Pink is one of my favorite colors, and Disney princess sandwich bags sound adorable!

Bunny Moreno said...

Omg I was soo much like you when I was little. I had to put aside and sacrifice a lot of my girly wants and needs and desires for many years bc of financial stresses and well I was raised by a dad and had an older brother-it was a challenge to have things in pink and be pretty.

Now that I have my daughter and now that I am blogging and getting into vintage and all that jazz-I am finally able to indulge in the pretty and in the sparkly and oh all that stuff. Of course my foundation is one of being practical and I think that comes from my influences of being around men or older people most of my young life.

And for a while my hubby didnt get my need for doing vintage stuff and shoots and dressing up. Now he gets it and is accepting it. Bc I love him to bits but I dont like the comedy films he likes, I dont like talking about finance and business all day long, and heavy metal bothers my ears. I mean I like it when I was 17 for like 5 seconds but that time and come and gone.

Now I am encouraging myself to do my girly things and I am so glad we are friends bc you need to teach me about all this stuff. I feel like my head has been underground for years hahah You wont lose yourself at all and one day when you have a daughter you will get to do more girly things. Or if you have all boys-they will just learn all the beauty and charms of what being a girl/woman is like. My boys love watching me do my makeup and see me dressed up. I swear my kids make me feel like a movie star sometimes. So dont fight it-it is who you are. And you rock, but you already know that! xox

Yetti-Writes said...

LOL. You will not suffocate and someone will love and cherish the girly girl you are lol. My roommate is the exact same way, and here in NYC... it's pretty normal! You do not have to change a bit, you're you and that's great!

Kim (A Very Sweet Blog) said...

HAHAHA! Jen, I'm an only child too with not many friends. So my blogging buddies are like my extended family. So it was really good to see you write that. We think the same way! I'm a girly girl too! When the guy I was dating saw my "sweet" iphone cover he was like how the hell can you hold that thing. hahaha straight guys just don't get it. continue being you doll! cotton candy and ALL! loved this post! have a great weekend.

David Macaulay said...

Ok I am now alarmed at the fact I think you would be the coolest to hang out with, also I have no comprehension of US football (am I gay without realizing i??) - but then I love Ernest Hemingway - in fact I used to teach A Farewell to Arms, although I failed to interest any of my students in it. The raw and understated passion was lost on their tiny, gangbanging minds - Read The Sun Also Rises this very second and you may reassess..

Imogen said...

This is exactly the same as me. I am the most girly girl possible. I can relate on so many levels. I really stand out at university with the pretty pens, pink computer and hair bows everywhere. I also grew up just around girls so it was a real shock when I met Rydog and all his brothers and saw them playing soccer and video games. I have realised this is a good thing. This is one of the things I love about you!

Elisse said...

I don't think there's anything wrong with holding on to our girly-girl ways of being. Will you "suffocate" yourself as a result? I don't see it that way - if something doesn't fit with who you are, I think you will naturally evolve out into what best represents you. Speaking for myself, I don't think I'll ever lose my girly-girl ways ;)

Josie said...

Jen, you're the best. I would totally be like you if only I had the nerve. I think it sounds like fun!
xo Josie

Shybiker said...

Ha! Very amusing.

I'm like you and love girly things, except for me that was forbidden. Now, years later I'm finally buying pink computers, fluffy slippers, etc. I think we'd be great friends in person.

Cafe Fashionista said...

Here's the thing...if people want to look at you strangely for being uber-girly (and please understand I am EXACTLY the same way), so be it. I plan on wearing hot pink power suits (with skirts, not pants) when I'm officially a professional; and I will decorate with Hello Kitty as I see fit.

Working with it! :P

Anonymous said...'re a girl! I find nothing wrong with your cotton candy life. Maybe because I'm the same way. I'm a 12 year old trapped inside a 28 year old. I'm all about pink, cute, and Claire's. I have more in common with my 5th grade girl students than I've ever had in common with anyone. I don't think you'll suffocate. Continue to be you!

Mona (Mabel)
Guide to Pin-Up Style & Makeup

Valentina Coco said...

Beautiful pics!!!i'm following you!!!if you like mine, do the same!!
bloglovin follower

The Dainty Dolls House said...

Be proud of who you are..there will always be someone who feels the same and thinks they are the only one too :) Sameness is boring anyways! I'm kind of in the middle really :)

sherene said...

I can totally relate.
Im not into girl girl thing, in fact my parents thought il grow up
Its only now that appreciates dressing up, i wanna look good for the husby:)


You will suffocate yourself if you try to be someone else. If you're a girly girl, then you're a girly girl. Why is everyone the way they are?


Arielle-HumblePieVintage said...

Hahaha! I refuse to drink Mountain Dew, beer, I hate sports, and that crap too.

I bet it'd be fun to work with someone that dressed like that and had fun accessories.

It reminded me of Elle Woods on Legally Blonde when she goes to law school.

Some people are just meant to stand out!

Ashley of Southern (California) Belle said...

Love this! There is nothing wrong with gravitating towards everything girly. Nobody understands men except for other men anyway :)



Southern (California) Belle

Sara said...

Oh my gosh, you are too cute! Reading this made me smile