Elizabeth Taylor's eyes
Gene Tierney's nose
Lena Horne's smile
Rita Hayworth's locks
Sophia Loren's figure
Marilyn Monroe's sex appeal
Audrey Hepburn's charm
Grace Kelly's style
That's all.
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
Sunday, July 15, 2012
I Think We're Alone Now
I'm sorry for disappearing off the face of the planet for the past week.
I've been swamped with work, plus my best friend Jonny is in town, so I've been spending most of my free time with him.
In between attending city council meetings, writing stories, and sipping cocktails with my bestie, I managed to sneak in a short, very entertaining documentary, which was suggested to me by my blog friend, Jillian.
This jaw-dropping documentary, I Think We're Alone Now, focuses on two crazy ass men who are in love with Tiffany.
Yes, Tiffany. The teen pop princess from the late 1980s.
Even though her star has faded in the music world, the suffocating, mind-whirling love these men share for her hasn't waned a bit since 1988.
There is Jeff, a 57-year-old autistic man who has been charged with stalking Tiffany numerous times. He's shown up at every single concert and appearance she has given in the past 24 years. He has been arrested for trespassing at her home and also for brandishing a sword near the pop star.
The other crazy ass stalker is Kelly, a intersexual (hermaphrodite) who is practically homeless, but holds on to his passion for Tiffany like a light in the dark. The walls of his dilapidated apartment are adorned with Tiffany photos and song lyrics.
I think what creeps me out the most is that both of these grown men genuinely believe Tiffany has a special connection with them.
Jeff says, despite the numerous restraining orders the singer has put on him, he is Tiffany's closest and dearest friend. He said they share a bond no one else in the world will ever have. He said Tiffany calls him up at night, just to tell him that she considers him the most important person in her life.
Kelly, on the other hand, is madly in love with Tiffany. When the aging pop star got married a few years ago, Kelly's world came crashing down. Kelly can't even talk about Tiffany's husband without shaking in fury. The stalker believes his destiny is to be with Tiffany romantically one day. Kelly is frustrated nobody else can see it.
Both men have met Tiffany. And while she was nothing but super sweet with them, you could tell Tiffany was completely freaked out. She's known Jeff her entire adult life (the guy has stalked her since she was 16 for god's sake). Meeting Kelly for the first time, after a concert, was clearly a strange moment for the middle-aged mom.
Despite their obvious psychoticness, the documentary shows a vulnerable, and almost innocent side to these men. They're both so eerily interesting and their lives are so much more than obsessed fans.
I highly recommend this documentary.
I've been swamped with work, plus my best friend Jonny is in town, so I've been spending most of my free time with him.
In between attending city council meetings, writing stories, and sipping cocktails with my bestie, I managed to sneak in a short, very entertaining documentary, which was suggested to me by my blog friend, Jillian.
This jaw-dropping documentary, I Think We're Alone Now, focuses on two crazy ass men who are in love with Tiffany.
Yes, Tiffany. The teen pop princess from the late 1980s.
Even though her star has faded in the music world, the suffocating, mind-whirling love these men share for her hasn't waned a bit since 1988.
There is Jeff, a 57-year-old autistic man who has been charged with stalking Tiffany numerous times. He's shown up at every single concert and appearance she has given in the past 24 years. He has been arrested for trespassing at her home and also for brandishing a sword near the pop star.
The other crazy ass stalker is Kelly, a intersexual (hermaphrodite) who is practically homeless, but holds on to his passion for Tiffany like a light in the dark. The walls of his dilapidated apartment are adorned with Tiffany photos and song lyrics.
I think what creeps me out the most is that both of these grown men genuinely believe Tiffany has a special connection with them.
Jeff says, despite the numerous restraining orders the singer has put on him, he is Tiffany's closest and dearest friend. He said they share a bond no one else in the world will ever have. He said Tiffany calls him up at night, just to tell him that she considers him the most important person in her life.
Kelly, on the other hand, is madly in love with Tiffany. When the aging pop star got married a few years ago, Kelly's world came crashing down. Kelly can't even talk about Tiffany's husband without shaking in fury. The stalker believes his destiny is to be with Tiffany romantically one day. Kelly is frustrated nobody else can see it.
Both men have met Tiffany. And while she was nothing but super sweet with them, you could tell Tiffany was completely freaked out. She's known Jeff her entire adult life (the guy has stalked her since she was 16 for god's sake). Meeting Kelly for the first time, after a concert, was clearly a strange moment for the middle-aged mom.
Despite their obvious psychoticness, the documentary shows a vulnerable, and almost innocent side to these men. They're both so eerily interesting and their lives are so much more than obsessed fans.
I highly recommend this documentary.
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
Why I Love Bunnies
Bunnies don't talk shit behind your back.
Bunnies don't pretend to be your best friend.
Bunnies don't vandalize your car.
Bunnies don't cheat on you with some girl they met on Facebook.
Bunnies don't act like religious hypocrites.
Bunnies don't disinherit you for moving out of the house.
Bunnies don't lie to your face.
Bunnies don't complain that you're not married yet.
Bunnies don't call you fat.
Bunnies don't cause drama.
Bunnies just want love.
Sunday, July 8, 2012
Hollywood Divorces
Unless you've been in a coma for the past week, you already know the biggest news story right now is the upcoming divorce of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes.
As much as we like to think of Hollywood as royalty, we need to face the facts: the kings and queens of the silver screen just were not meant to marry each other. It never ends well.
In tribute to Katie earning her freedom from Tom "science fiction is my religion" Cruise, I thought I would share with you the most famous Hollywood divorces in history.
Enjoy!
Mary Pickford and Douglas Fairbanks (America's Sweethearts)
These silent films stars became the first Hollywood power-couple, winning the hearts of movie fans all over the world and setting tabloids on fire. Of course, it started out as a scandal. Mary was already married to another man when she started secretly dating the swashbuckling action star Doug. To preserve her wholesome, apple-pie public image, the movie star quickly divorced her first husband and made it legal with her leading man.
But when talkies came around, their careers couldn't survive and neither did their marriage. Doug grew restless and sailed overseas, only to fall in love with a high-society beauty. Mary stayed in the U.S. and filed for divorce.
Debbie Reynolds and Eddie Fisher (Scandal of the Century)
They seemed like the perfect couple. Publicity photos of them revealed two happy 20-somethings on the brink of Hollywood stardom and newlywed life. They had a son and a daughter. But their promising marriage came to an abrupt end when Debbie's best friend, Elizabeth Taylor, put the moves on her husband.
Eddie, stunned that such a gorgeous woman would ever fall in love with him, eagerly left his wife and kids for the Hollywood glam queen. It was the first Hollywood scandal of epic proportions. Liz, who later coldly dumped Eddie for Richard Burton, became a tabloid sensation after breaking up the marriage. Debbie and Liz didn't speak for decades after the incident, but both made amends on Liz's deathbed last year.
Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz (Who Loves Lucy?)
America's Favorite Redhead and her handsome Cuban hubby were the most famous television stars during the 1950s. Their marriage may have looked hilarious and loving on screen, but behind the scenes it was full of unhappiness.
Starring in a show together and owning a production company proved too much stress for the famous couple. After almost 20 years of marriage and two children, they called it quits, but remained life-long friends.
Cher and Sonny Bono (The Odd Couple)
Cher was a teenage high school drop out when she met the much-older Sonny in Hollywood. Both were desperately trying to break into showbiz. After living together, the two best friends fell in love. It wasn't long before the struggling musicians realized their marriage could be utilized for success. They released quirky duos and found instant fame. They later started the Sonny and Cher Comedy Hour, which became legendary.
As Cher got older, however, she resented her husband's controlling and possessive nature. She wanted to be independent. The couple split in 1975. They have a son.
Madonna and Sean Penn (The Fame Whores)
Nobody wanted fame more than Madonna. And what better way to capitalize on her pop star status than to marry a Hollywood bad boy? It was the most publicized wedding of the century. It was also the most turbulent romance in history, with public screaming matches and Sean's violent anger towards his wife's mega-fame. He even served more than a month in prison for viciously attacking a photographer.
After four years of marriage in 1989, both Madonna and Sean were sick of each other and filed for divorce. They had no children.
Christie Brinkley and Billy Joel (The rock star & the supermodel)
Hollywood was a magical place in the 1980s, especially when Billy Joel married his Uptown Girl, Christie. She was the All-American beauty every girl in the world wanted to be. The two wed the same year as Madonna and Sean, in a more private ceremony. Teenage girls and soft rock enthusiasts thought it was a match made in heaven.
But it wasn't. Nine years later, Christie and her millionaire lover survived a near-fatal helicopter crash in snowy mountains. Realizing life was short, she sent Billy divorce papers immediately after she was rescued.
Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman (Tom's Destruction: Part I)
Hollywood couldn't have dreamed of a better couple. Nobody was more famous than these two lovebirds during the 1990s. They starred in movies together. They smooched on the red carpet. They blinded the world with their bright smiles and jaw-dropping beauty.
Unfortunately for Tom, Nicole was too smart for him. Ten years into their marriage, she ditched Tom's controlling ways and Scientology obsession for something more sacred: a life. Unfortunately for Nicole, the divorce came with a price. Tom has restricted their two adopted children from having much contact with her.
Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt (The Good Girl & The Bad Boy)
Hollywood fairytales were shattered permanently when this marriage went to hell. Jen and Brad had just decorated their dream home and they were trying to conceive a child when Brad began filming Mr. & Mrs. Smith. But the dream died when Jen's husband met Angie Voight.
Poor Jen didn't stand a chance. Like Debbie Reynolds 50 years before, she watched her husband frolic delightfully with Angelina Jolie all over the tabloids. Their five-year marriage ended in 2005.
What do you think of these Hollywood divorces? Which one shocked you the most? Is there one you think should be on the list?
As much as we like to think of Hollywood as royalty, we need to face the facts: the kings and queens of the silver screen just were not meant to marry each other. It never ends well.
In tribute to Katie earning her freedom from Tom "science fiction is my religion" Cruise, I thought I would share with you the most famous Hollywood divorces in history.
Enjoy!
Mary Pickford and Douglas Fairbanks (America's Sweethearts)
These silent films stars became the first Hollywood power-couple, winning the hearts of movie fans all over the world and setting tabloids on fire. Of course, it started out as a scandal. Mary was already married to another man when she started secretly dating the swashbuckling action star Doug. To preserve her wholesome, apple-pie public image, the movie star quickly divorced her first husband and made it legal with her leading man.
But when talkies came around, their careers couldn't survive and neither did their marriage. Doug grew restless and sailed overseas, only to fall in love with a high-society beauty. Mary stayed in the U.S. and filed for divorce.
Debbie Reynolds and Eddie Fisher (Scandal of the Century)
They seemed like the perfect couple. Publicity photos of them revealed two happy 20-somethings on the brink of Hollywood stardom and newlywed life. They had a son and a daughter. But their promising marriage came to an abrupt end when Debbie's best friend, Elizabeth Taylor, put the moves on her husband.
Eddie, stunned that such a gorgeous woman would ever fall in love with him, eagerly left his wife and kids for the Hollywood glam queen. It was the first Hollywood scandal of epic proportions. Liz, who later coldly dumped Eddie for Richard Burton, became a tabloid sensation after breaking up the marriage. Debbie and Liz didn't speak for decades after the incident, but both made amends on Liz's deathbed last year.
Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz (Who Loves Lucy?)
America's Favorite Redhead and her handsome Cuban hubby were the most famous television stars during the 1950s. Their marriage may have looked hilarious and loving on screen, but behind the scenes it was full of unhappiness.
Starring in a show together and owning a production company proved too much stress for the famous couple. After almost 20 years of marriage and two children, they called it quits, but remained life-long friends.
Cher and Sonny Bono (The Odd Couple)
Cher was a teenage high school drop out when she met the much-older Sonny in Hollywood. Both were desperately trying to break into showbiz. After living together, the two best friends fell in love. It wasn't long before the struggling musicians realized their marriage could be utilized for success. They released quirky duos and found instant fame. They later started the Sonny and Cher Comedy Hour, which became legendary.
As Cher got older, however, she resented her husband's controlling and possessive nature. She wanted to be independent. The couple split in 1975. They have a son.
Madonna and Sean Penn (The Fame Whores)
Nobody wanted fame more than Madonna. And what better way to capitalize on her pop star status than to marry a Hollywood bad boy? It was the most publicized wedding of the century. It was also the most turbulent romance in history, with public screaming matches and Sean's violent anger towards his wife's mega-fame. He even served more than a month in prison for viciously attacking a photographer.
After four years of marriage in 1989, both Madonna and Sean were sick of each other and filed for divorce. They had no children.
Christie Brinkley and Billy Joel (The rock star & the supermodel)
Hollywood was a magical place in the 1980s, especially when Billy Joel married his Uptown Girl, Christie. She was the All-American beauty every girl in the world wanted to be. The two wed the same year as Madonna and Sean, in a more private ceremony. Teenage girls and soft rock enthusiasts thought it was a match made in heaven.
But it wasn't. Nine years later, Christie and her millionaire lover survived a near-fatal helicopter crash in snowy mountains. Realizing life was short, she sent Billy divorce papers immediately after she was rescued.
Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman (Tom's Destruction: Part I)
Hollywood couldn't have dreamed of a better couple. Nobody was more famous than these two lovebirds during the 1990s. They starred in movies together. They smooched on the red carpet. They blinded the world with their bright smiles and jaw-dropping beauty.
Unfortunately for Tom, Nicole was too smart for him. Ten years into their marriage, she ditched Tom's controlling ways and Scientology obsession for something more sacred: a life. Unfortunately for Nicole, the divorce came with a price. Tom has restricted their two adopted children from having much contact with her.
Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt (The Good Girl & The Bad Boy)
Hollywood fairytales were shattered permanently when this marriage went to hell. Jen and Brad had just decorated their dream home and they were trying to conceive a child when Brad began filming Mr. & Mrs. Smith. But the dream died when Jen's husband met Angie Voight.
Poor Jen didn't stand a chance. Like Debbie Reynolds 50 years before, she watched her husband frolic delightfully with Angelina Jolie all over the tabloids. Their five-year marriage ended in 2005.
What do you think of these Hollywood divorces? Which one shocked you the most? Is there one you think should be on the list?
Thursday, July 5, 2012
Erotic Fan Fiction
The hottest book around right now is, of course, Fifty Shades of Grey.
I refused to read the Fifty Shades series for a long time because of its stupid origin: the book is Twilight fan fiction.
Seriously.
E.L. James, the author, had written erotic Twilight fan fiction that became so popular, she simply renamed the characters, made a few tweaks, and released it as the Fifty Shades series. Now she's a millionaire.
I'm thinking Stephenie Meyer needs to get some royalties...?
Anyway, I've been a sucker for steamy romance novels since high school, so I decided to pick up a copy of the trash lit at my local grocery store.
So far, I'm bored with it. But I haven't gotten to the good parts yet, so who knows.
In tribute to Fifty Shades of Twilight, I thought I would share with you some other erotic fan fiction I delightfully discovered on the internet.
(I've attached links to the original sources, in case some of you get hot and bothered and want to read more.)
Perhaps some of these fan-scribed stories will score a book deal as well.
Enjoy:
Harry Potter (Goes Gay)
Plot:
Draco Malfoy and Ron Weasley fall in love and become gay lovers. They take a road trip across the United States.
Best excerpt:
Ron slides his tongue over the back of my thumb, causing me to gasp quietly at the tickling sensation. He moves onto my pointer finger, evidently determined to capture every last drop of butter that I have horded onto my hand.
Best quote:
"Draco, just because I haven’t slept around a lot doesn't mean I haven't been interested in people," Ron said. "I dated one of the guys up in the Magical Creatures department, and crushed on a graduated Hufflepuff who came back at Dumbledore's request to help the Order, and fooled around with Lee Jordan. "
Cinderella (Gets Spanked)
Plot:
Cinderella becomes Prince Charming's sex slave.
Favorite excerpt:
"Cinderella. You must obey," I said, as I took my hand and swatted across her crimson flesh, her skin moving violently, under the swift strike of my swing. Again I lifted, and came down full force. She shrieked under her muffled lips, but kept her mouth pursed and her wails, within. Satisfied, I stopped and began rubbing my hands across her buttocks, massaging at her aching bottom, that felt unusually warm. Her hips slowly began to thrust upward, pushing into my hands, meeting with them, begging them for more.
Favorite quote:
"Cinderella. I wish you to be more than just a servant in my court, I wish you to be my personal submissive."
Sweet Valley High (Goes Lesbo)
Plot:
Best friends Jessica Wakefield and Lila Fowler have too much to drink at a Christmas party and get frisky.
Favorite excerpt:
Jessica pressed her lips to Lila's. The brunette tasted of chocolate and rum punch, and there was a strange hesitancy to her stillness as her raspberry-glossed lips remained immobile against the blonde's. And then all of a sudden the cheers of the other students were a roar in their ears along with the blood rushing through their veins and Jessica was gasping for breath because she'd lost hers in the most infuriatingly wonderful kiss she'd ever had the fortune to be a part of.
Favorite quote:
"...don't let any other girls catch you under the mistletoe, okay?"
Pride and Prejudice (Gets Kinky)
Plot:
Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth Bennet have sex with tropical fruit...and each other.
Favorite excerpt:
Darcy then touched the thing near her mouth. Before she could bite into it, he took it away. He must have put it inside his mouth because she heard him saying, “very sweet, juicy and tasty.”
Favorite quote:
"I can taste your woman scent on the banana.”
Thoughts?
I refused to read the Fifty Shades series for a long time because of its stupid origin: the book is Twilight fan fiction.
Seriously.
E.L. James, the author, had written erotic Twilight fan fiction that became so popular, she simply renamed the characters, made a few tweaks, and released it as the Fifty Shades series. Now she's a millionaire.
I'm thinking Stephenie Meyer needs to get some royalties...?
Anyway, I've been a sucker for steamy romance novels since high school, so I decided to pick up a copy of the trash lit at my local grocery store.
So far, I'm bored with it. But I haven't gotten to the good parts yet, so who knows.
In tribute to Fifty Shades of Twilight, I thought I would share with you some other erotic fan fiction I delightfully discovered on the internet.
(I've attached links to the original sources, in case some of you get hot and bothered and want to read more.)
Perhaps some of these fan-scribed stories will score a book deal as well.
Enjoy:
Harry Potter (Goes Gay)
Plot:
Draco Malfoy and Ron Weasley fall in love and become gay lovers. They take a road trip across the United States.
Best excerpt:
Ron slides his tongue over the back of my thumb, causing me to gasp quietly at the tickling sensation. He moves onto my pointer finger, evidently determined to capture every last drop of butter that I have horded onto my hand.
Best quote:
"Draco, just because I haven’t slept around a lot doesn't mean I haven't been interested in people," Ron said. "I dated one of the guys up in the Magical Creatures department, and crushed on a graduated Hufflepuff who came back at Dumbledore's request to help the Order, and fooled around with Lee Jordan. "
Cinderella (Gets Spanked)
Plot:
Cinderella becomes Prince Charming's sex slave.
Favorite excerpt:
"Cinderella. You must obey," I said, as I took my hand and swatted across her crimson flesh, her skin moving violently, under the swift strike of my swing. Again I lifted, and came down full force. She shrieked under her muffled lips, but kept her mouth pursed and her wails, within. Satisfied, I stopped and began rubbing my hands across her buttocks, massaging at her aching bottom, that felt unusually warm. Her hips slowly began to thrust upward, pushing into my hands, meeting with them, begging them for more.
Favorite quote:
"Cinderella. I wish you to be more than just a servant in my court, I wish you to be my personal submissive."
Sweet Valley High (Goes Lesbo)
Plot:
Best friends Jessica Wakefield and Lila Fowler have too much to drink at a Christmas party and get frisky.
Favorite excerpt:
Jessica pressed her lips to Lila's. The brunette tasted of chocolate and rum punch, and there was a strange hesitancy to her stillness as her raspberry-glossed lips remained immobile against the blonde's. And then all of a sudden the cheers of the other students were a roar in their ears along with the blood rushing through their veins and Jessica was gasping for breath because she'd lost hers in the most infuriatingly wonderful kiss she'd ever had the fortune to be a part of.
Favorite quote:
"...don't let any other girls catch you under the mistletoe, okay?"
Pride and Prejudice (Gets Kinky)
Plot:
Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth Bennet have sex with tropical fruit...and each other.
Favorite excerpt:
Darcy then touched the thing near her mouth. Before she could bite into it, he took it away. He must have put it inside his mouth because she heard him saying, “very sweet, juicy and tasty.”
Favorite quote:
"I can taste your woman scent on the banana.”
Thoughts?
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
More crazy fans!!
Did the Miley Cyrus fan from my last post freak you out?
Be sure to check out my guest post on Dreams n Drama for more crazy fans! These might be even worse!
Click here.
Be sure to check out my guest post on Dreams n Drama for more crazy fans! These might be even worse!
Click here.
Sunday, July 1, 2012
Miley's Biggest Fan
Do you think you're the biggest Miley Cyrus fan ever??
I hate to break it to you, but you're not.
Because this guy is:
Jonny recently sent me a New York Daily News article about Carl McCoid, a 39-year-old housekeeper, from Yorkshire, England, who is a self-described Miley Cyrus superfan.
Carl credits the 19-year-old celebrity for helping him get through a difficult divorce, by listening to her music and admiring her beauty from afar.
He has spent around $800 to have Miley's face, signature, and song lyrics tattooed all over his body.
He even has a twitter account dedicated to his love for her.
Some of his tweets:
About this photo:
“This photo is so beautiful. Her swag is amazing. And just look at that smile. God exists.”
This photo:
"Pure perfection. There's an Angel in L.A."
#MileyPerfectHumanBeing
"I'm obsessed! Miley tattoos are addictive lol!"
"Her boobs sure are perfect!"
"Just listened to Time of Our Lives! Obsessed!"
Etc.
Carl's dream is to one day meet Miley and he admits, he would probably die if he did.
Ironically, he would be in perfect company, because I'm pretty sure Miley would die on the spot if she saw his creepy tats.
He also said he's not stopping at 15 tattoos. He's definitely going to get more. Perhaps a wedding portrait??
I hate to judge this guy's obsession. After all, you're reading the blog of a girl who once broke onto Morrissey's tour bus for five glorious hours.
But everything about this situation is creepy to me.
It's borderline pedophile. (I wonder when he started becoming obsessed with Miley. Didn't she become famous when she was 13?!?) The tattoos make my skin crawl. And his gushy, high school style tweets make me wonder if Carl is mentally unbalanced. I mean, he doesn't strike me as violent guy who would ever want to harm her, but he just seems whacko.
And well, anyone who gives Miley Cyrus that much credit has to be nuts anyway. Let's be real.
What are your thoughts?
I hate to break it to you, but you're not.
Because this guy is:
Jonny recently sent me a New York Daily News article about Carl McCoid, a 39-year-old housekeeper, from Yorkshire, England, who is a self-described Miley Cyrus superfan.
Carl credits the 19-year-old celebrity for helping him get through a difficult divorce, by listening to her music and admiring her beauty from afar.
He has spent around $800 to have Miley's face, signature, and song lyrics tattooed all over his body.
He even has a twitter account dedicated to his love for her.
Some of his tweets:
About this photo:
This photo:
#MileyPerfectHumanBeing
"I'm obsessed! Miley tattoos are addictive lol!"
"Her boobs sure are perfect!"
"Just listened to Time of Our Lives! Obsessed!"
Etc.
Carl's dream is to one day meet Miley and he admits, he would probably die if he did.
Ironically, he would be in perfect company, because I'm pretty sure Miley would die on the spot if she saw his creepy tats.
He also said he's not stopping at 15 tattoos. He's definitely going to get more. Perhaps a wedding portrait??
I hate to judge this guy's obsession. After all, you're reading the blog of a girl who once broke onto Morrissey's tour bus for five glorious hours.
But everything about this situation is creepy to me.
It's borderline pedophile. (I wonder when he started becoming obsessed with Miley. Didn't she become famous when she was 13?!?) The tattoos make my skin crawl. And his gushy, high school style tweets make me wonder if Carl is mentally unbalanced. I mean, he doesn't strike me as violent guy who would ever want to harm her, but he just seems whacko.
And well, anyone who gives Miley Cyrus that much credit has to be nuts anyway. Let's be real.
What are your thoughts?
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