When I was a dorky high school sophomore, I stepped into the new millennium, leaving the 90s behind. Or so I thought. But listening to the cheesy beat of the Macarena brought back a wave of memories. And because I know you all give a damn, I'm going to list them right here.
Like most 90s kids, I was a television addict. Not many people had internet or cell phones. If you didn't like the beautiful outdoors, you had Uncle Jesse in a box. I'm surprised how many times little 9-year-old me watched Full House without realizing how gay it really was. And before I was ten, I also knew the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air song by heart and had memorized all the Saved by the Bell characters and their life stories.
"I was surfing the crimson wave. I had to haul ass to the ladies'."
Words cannot describe how obsessed I used to be with Clueless when I was 11 years old. I yearned to see the movie so bad but my parents wouldn't let me. That made it even more vital that I see it. So my friend Megan and I pretended to go see a talking pig movie and snuck into the Clueless theater.
Oh. My. God.
The fashion. The sass. The wit.
That movie changed my life. And I still long to be a 1995 Alicia Silverstone.
"Although we've come to the end of the road..."
When we were 12, my friend Megan was dating an eighth grader. He was taking her to the sixth grade spring dance. It was a pretty big deal. To make me feel better, she found his friend, Mark, a seventh grader, who agreed to become my boyfriend at 2:15 p.m. that day. I sat in math class, staring at the clock. And when the short hand hit the two and the long hand hit the three, my heart skipped a beat. I had a boyfriend! My very first! I wondered what he looked like. More importantly, what was I going to wear to the dance that night?
I ended up wearing a dark green velvet top with ripped sleeves and a denim mini skirt. I thought I looked hot at the time but old photos prove otherwise.
And when I met scrawny little Mark on the dance floor, "End of the Road" by Boys II Men was playing. We slow danced and then I hugged him and then I ran off to meet my friends. I never saw Mark again.
While a huge part of me has no desire to go back to the brace face with zits, I can't help but feel a tinge of longing for the 90s. It was a pretty cool decade to be a kid. Life was a little more simple. I didn't waste my life away with text messaging. I wasn't twittering at the age of 12. I bought CDs at the mall with friends, rather than downloading them alone on the internet. Movies, music, and television were cheesy as hell and we loved it. We didn't take anything seriously.
Life was fun.