Friday, September 25, 2009
So, today at work...
The most bizarre thing happened at work today. I'm not sure what to make of it.
You see, a few months ago my company hired this temp to do secretarial stuff in the office. Her name is Linda and she is a middle-aged woman who always smiled shyly at everyone in the newsroom and kept to herself. I don't ever remember her talking before today. She was just quiet. A very motherly figure.
Well, this afternoon she went through the drive-thru at Wendy's for a baked potato, to bring it back to work for lunch.
When she got back to her desk and opened her potato, she gasped really loudly. She dropped the potato on the floor and started pointing at it, like it was a mouse.
"Th-th-they forgot sour cream!" she said. "Oh my god. They forgot to put sour cream on my baked potato."
She then started smashing her hand on her desk so loudly I thought my heart was going to stop.
"They forgot to put sour cream on my FUCKING BAKED POTATO!" she screamed, her face turning purple. "Those fucking Wendy's people forgot my FUCKING SOUR CREAM!"
And then she crumbled to the ground and started violently sobbing.
I was so stunned, I just sat there and watched. I was alone in the newsroom with her, so I was scared. An advertising executive rushed into the room to see what was going on. When I explained, he suggested that Linda go back to Wendy's to see if they could give her some sour cream or replace her order.
Linda didn't like that idea.
"WHY THE FUCK WOULD I GO BACK TO WENDY'S AFTER THEY FUCKING BETRAYED ME?" she shrieked at him. "I'M GOING TO FUCKING SUE THEM!"
She picked the baked potato off the floor and threw it in the trash can and left the office, muttering stuff about suing Wendy's. I stared at the advertising executive, with my mouth open, but he just shrugged casually, like going completely insane over sour cream was normal.
And that was it.
If my life ever gets that unbearable, to the point where I'm going psycho over a baked potato, I want somebody to hit me over the head with a frying pan, just like they do in the cartoons.
Because I'll need it.