Journalist. Mother. Bunny enthusiast. Pop culture junkie.

Journalist. Mother. Bunny enthusiast. Pop culture junkie.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

The Real Me

I look like a potato today.

I am so sorry to have to tell you this news. I know most of you had this illusion that I, Jennifer Fabulous, am this gorgeous, perfect goddess, who has never even seen a bad hair day. But it's not true. There are actually days where I look like something you should cook in a stew.

This revelation most likely comes as a huge shock to you. I feel awful. Sort of like I'm revealing to you for the first time that you were actually adopted. (You're weren't. I don't think so. Shit. Maybe.)

I wish I could be one of those flawless beauties who gracefully sits down on an uncomfortable chair and makes it work. I'm not. I'm the tangled hair girl who sits on the chair and gets the cushion stuck to her ass.

I'm the girl who tries to act seductive, only to have the guy ask, concerned, "do you have something in your eye? You keep twitching."

I'm the girl who doesn't know her wrap skirt isn't tied properly and suddenly realizes in horror that she's walking in her underwear down the school hallway.

I'm the girl who makes awkward jokes at inappropriate moments.

I'm the girl who accidentally hits "send all" on a dirty text meant for her boyfriend.

I'm the girl who somehow gets an entire bottle of ketchup all over her outfit and hair during a first date. And when the guy tries to help, gets the entire mustard bottle all over him.

I'm the girl who looks like a potato when she doesn't wash her hair for two days.

That is Jennifer Fabulous. I'm awkward. I'm ridiculous. I'm me.

Now that I've introduced myself (two years into this blog), let me transition to the next phase of this post: My blogging game.

You can catch up on it here.

Day Six: Five people who mean a lot to you.

My family

(I had to clump them all together, I'm afraid).


(Our four year anniversary is in mid-November. Holy shit).




(She has been like a sister to me for 13 years...she's getting married in a couple weeks. I still can't believe it).


(The male Jennifer Fabulous, who is a musical star in Branson).

Now you know the real me and my inner circle.

I am exposed.


Faith said...

I am the queen of inappropriate comments and awkwardness glad we have that in common!
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The Shanner of Attention said...

your first date sounds delicious with tater tots! (love tots with ketchup and mustard!)

Vintage Vixen said...

Jennifer, you crack me up! Dodgy hair, innapropriate jokes, clumsy, whatever, you are FABULOUS. xxx said...

Yes you are exposed! And I like you better now! :) Clumsy or not ... at least you are YOU! ... Glad to be introduced to your family. You guys look good!

btd. said...

"I'm the girl who makes awkward jokes at inappropriate moments." Definitely me, lol. We are not all perfect, but you are fabulously un-perfect... If that made sense. =P Wow, four years? That's so amazing! I am so happy for you two! :)

Anonymous said...

You are an unbelievably talented writer Jen!
I love reading your posts!!!

I am terribly clumsy too, and being very tall I've always looked a bit gangly, like some human version of Jar Jar Binks from Star Wars Ep. I!!! :D

And I have very bad hair days too!


Venus In Virgo said...

Jennifer, your perfect the way you are :0 OMG! your family is biggie! I feel so all alone all of a sudden lol! Lovely photos you posted XOXO

Mint Scented Kerrie said...

You're amazing! ...and you ALWAYS have nice hair.

Leonie said...

Ah I love this blogpost, so honest! Sounds like you have a great circle of people around you.

Leah said...

You are perfectly alright. I really love your revelation (you made me laugh big time Jen) and honestly, I can relate. Who's perfect anyway? Hahaha!

Have a great day my dear! xoxo

Laura Tenshi said...

I like this post a lot. Sometimes we try to be perfect in front of other people and we feel like this is the only side of us they should see, when in fact we all have flaws. I am glad you could be this honest and expose yourself like that, maybe other people will follow your example and let the world know they are vulnerable too.

Christopher said...

I didn't know it was possible to look like a potato, I'm rather intrigued.

I've done the dirty text message thing before only to have a phone call from mom to come right after. Did she call me a pervert and say I ought to be ashamed? No, she asked if I was seeing someone and if I'd get to meet her.

JUST ME said...

Not washing your hair for two days?

That's child's play.


Bright red fades, so I try to keep it in longer by using a LOT of dry shampoo. It works in varying degrees.

Kristina said...

This post totally cracked me up because I am so this girl, too! Your writing style is wicked funny!
Kristina J.

indianmakeupways said...

wow! loved this post! u r always so honest....its really refreshing to read ur posts.nice to see ur big family. everyone looks amazing.

lancelonie said...

"awkward jokes at inappropriate moments" - I think I'm like that, too . . . who feels like a "potato" tonight... LOL!

The best thing is you're happy being you . . . and not faking it! :)


style-haus said...

your sarcasm, candidness and sense of humor make reading these posts so enjoyable. thanks for sharing pics of your family & friends.

Sherin said...

You're perfectly imperfect and we love you for it!!
I make the most inappropriate jokes, that have actually left rooms completely silent, and I once dropped a lemon tart on my hair during a posh event and my hair went all sticky.

daisychain said...

I relate, so much to your writing here x

Couture Carrie said...

Love this post!
Your sense of humor is awesome!


Cafe Fashionista said...

Ummm...hello, I still think you are fabulous - as you, of course, are! By the way, this comes from an individual who had hair that stuck out like a yield sign for much of middle and high school. See...we're all fabulous!! :P

Punctuation Mark said...

you are a funny girl!!! will talk about the post tomorrow and hope you like it!!!

Tights Lover said...

...and you are fabulous just the way you are! Great post...although I'm not sure how one looks like a potato. Now I'm afraid I might look like a potato and not even know it. Someone get me a mirror.

Hope you're having a good week :)

A BRIT GREEK said...

Ha ha!!! Loving this post - you've got me chuckling because I can SO identify with some of the things you've written here!

I'm clumsy too, no heel wearing in Athens - I tend to wipe out within seconds of stepping onto the pavement!

Well, you sound FABULOUS to me, even if you are the queen of awkwardness and stuff!

Thanks so much for stopping by, I look forward to much more lol stuff!

C.Elizabeth said...

That really made me smile. Aren't we all the same?
I've just spent all day at work feeling horrible simply because I didn't wash my hair this morning (washed it yesterday). Somehow, I felt like this was ruining the "me" I'm used to show.
And awkwardness is actually my nickname... Seriously, I'm as clumsy as can...
But really, all that you just wrote is what makes you Fabulous! So keep it on coming girl!

Kristin said...

You sound pretty fabulous to me lady!

Alicia said...

I believe you've checked out the pictures of me as a child. I am right there with you... Being flawless is SUPER boring. Then what would we blog about?

My Republic of Fashion said...

Love this post so much! Nine times out of ten, I look like someone who has been stewing on the cooker for about 10 hours. Haha :)SArahD

Melanie's Randomness said...

This is all why we love you & I wish you lived a lil closer to me. =) On a first date I didn't realize I was eating my hair & then the sauce got all over when I spit my hair out. Awkwardness is beautiful! Your beautiful! =)

Elaine said...

Hahaaha, you're so funny. I'm so glad you're so honest with yourself. We all love you anyway ;)

Josie said...

Honey, we have everything in common. I swear, I'm the most awkward person alive... This IS me. And love learning a bit more about your friends!
xo Josie

Jen Ben said...

Aw, you know you are always beautiful and wonderful to me :-) Also, thanks for putting me in your blog. Love you lots and I GET TO SEE YOU SOON!! EEEE!!!

Barry said...

Mmm, I 've always loved potatoes and ketchup. You're yummy just the way you are my dear, I'll take you bad hair days and all!


Nads said...

There is nothing in this world that is perfect and so are we. It is our imperfections that make us perfect all because we try to change to make ourselves perfect.

Nads said...

i know I sound like a granny. Hmmmm...maybe virgos specialize in thtat :P

Becky Regina said...

Hey Jen thank you so much for your sweet comment ! Ahh no one is perfect and these things are just cute and honest :D Oh and you have a BIG family ! Haha .

FashionJazz said...

I totally loved your post hun! You are so real, so sweet and soooo fabulous!!! Mwah xx

jamie-lee said...

I really love having those couch potato days where your hair looks yuck and all you do is lie in bed. I try to do that once a week if possible.. tragic but true!

Audrey Allure said...

Haha I think we're all awkward in our own ways :)

Tights Lover said...

Hahaha. How did you guess?

Did you see me in the tanning booth, drinking Sunny D the other day? I knew it!!!

BlueVanilla said...

Ah great post and nice to meet you...i feel if most girls would expose there true selves in ways like this the world might just be a happier and more secure place.

Missy said...

i think your the girl who is too hard on herself! were all freaks deep down!

Blending Style, Beauty and Fashion

Kimia Kline said...

LOL. loved this post. and you're so not a potato.