I look like a potato today.
I am so sorry to have to tell you this news. I know most of you had this illusion that I, Jennifer Fabulous, am this gorgeous, perfect goddess, who has never even seen a bad hair day. But it's not true. There are actually days where I look like something you should cook in a stew.
This revelation most likely comes as a huge shock to you. I feel awful. Sort of like I'm revealing to you for the first time that you were actually adopted. (You're weren't. I don't think so. Shit. Maybe.)
I wish I could be one of those flawless beauties who gracefully sits down on an uncomfortable chair and makes it work. I'm not. I'm the tangled hair girl who sits on the chair and gets the cushion stuck to her ass.
I'm the girl who tries to act seductive, only to have the guy ask, concerned, "do you have something in your eye? You keep twitching."
I'm the girl who doesn't know her wrap skirt isn't tied properly and suddenly realizes in horror that she's walking in her underwear down the school hallway.
I'm the girl who makes awkward jokes at inappropriate moments.
I'm the girl who accidentally hits "send all" on a dirty text meant for her boyfriend.
I'm the girl who somehow gets an entire bottle of ketchup all over her outfit and hair during a first date. And when the guy tries to help, gets the entire mustard bottle all over him.
I'm the girl who looks like a potato when she doesn't wash her hair for two days.
That is Jennifer Fabulous. I'm awkward. I'm ridiculous. I'm me.
Now that I've introduced myself (two years into this blog), let me transition to the next phase of this post: My blogging game.
You can catch up on it here.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot to you.
(I had to clump them all together, I'm afraid).
(Our four year anniversary is in mid-November. Holy shit).
(She has been like a sister to me for 13 years...she's getting married in a couple weeks. I still can't believe it).
(The male Jennifer Fabulous, who is a musical star in Branson).
Now you know the real me and my inner circle.
I am exposed.