I've been really swamped with work this week.
I haven't been this busy in a while. It seems like every minute of every day, I have something to do. And my mind is racing.
I suppose that's a good thing for a freelance journalist, right? I'm lucky.
But despite being so busy, I feel like I'm really behind for my age.
I feel like everyone around me is off to greater things, and I'm kind of stuck in this transitional mud puddle.
I don't want to be a freelancer forever. And what worries me is that I don't even know what I want to do when I "grow up."
I'm not sure if there is a valid future in journalism for me anymore. When I was an employed reporter at the newspaper, I survived around five major lay-offs. I watched people twice my age be let go from the only job they knew. I saw careers being flushed down the toilet. I saw journalists my age jump off the sinking print journalism ship and swim, panicked, to the public relations island.
After being laid off two years ago, I halfheartedly applied to public relations positions. But I don't want to work in PR. And when I went to interviews, it showed.
I'm just terrified of staying in a field where a future isn't certain.
And here I am, freelancing for the newspaper, trying to keep my head above water, until I figure out what I want to do with the rest of my life.