Journalist. Mother. Bunny enthusiast. Pop culture junkie.

Journalist. Mother. Bunny enthusiast. Pop culture junkie.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

(Un) Happy New Year

It's almost comical how I think every year is the worst year of my life.

This year is no different. It has been one nightmare after another, in fact, it's the whole reason I started my blog back in February. I needed a place to vent about how awful the new year was going. I had no idea it was only going to get worse.

I'm not going to list all the problems I've been moaning about in the past year. I'm going to talk about something a little more recent.

I never brought this up before because I didn't want the agony to affect all aspects of my life. This blog was one place where I could escape from the drama.

But, it's kind of twisting my life into a nightmare, so I have to talk about it.

There is a girl who has been obsessed with my boyfriend for the past two and a half years. She lives in another state. She found him on facebook, back when he used to have one.

After sending him an insane number of texts and e-mails, he finally told her to leave him alone. She did not listen. So, I sent her a very polite e-mail telling her to stop bugging my boyfriend.

She recently sent me a scathing e-mail back that is so scary, it makes me think she is unstable. I can't even repeat anything she said here.

Then, to get more revenge, she interfered with my personal life. You see, this morning I got an e-mail from Facebook stating that SOMEONE e-mailed them stating my profile had objectionable content on it. Since Facebook has billions of users, they could not investigate each unique incident, but instead simply deleted accounts.

So, they deleted my account.

This is a facebook account I have had for five years. I did not have any objectionable content on it at all, especially since I was friends with my boss and coworkers. I am always very careful about what I put on it.

I'm in shock. Five years worth of messages, photos, and contact information are gone from me forever. That website was the main tool of communication I had with my cousins, former coworkers, high school friends, and college friends. And now it's all gone.

So now if I'm lucky Facebook will let me rebuild a new profile, but it's going to take a very long time to find all the friends I accumulated over the past five years. And I will never get all those photos back. My college graduation photos, my birthday photos, vacation photos, are all gone for good. I'm devastated.

All because of her. This girl who hates me. She's never even met me.

She knows my full name, she knows where I work, and she knows where I live.

Am I wrong to be scared she will try to destroy me in other ways? Her city is not very far away from me. She could easily take a road trip out here to get me. Or, contact my work and make up lies, like she did to Facebook. She could try to get me fired or ruin my reputation somehow.

I'm scared.


Leah said...

This girl is obsessed. Stay away from her. She is up to no good. I don't know how things work there but here in the Philippines, she can easily be reported to the police.

Ashley F. said...

Send Facebook help an email from the email account you used as your log in and contest the deletion. I've had several friends lose their accounts (over breastfeeding pictures--yes, that whole scandal) who were able to get their accounts & all of their old information back within a week or two. It's not necessarily a permanent deletion, especially since you weren't given any warnings first.

~KS said...

She sounds awful... I cannot believe she is doing all of this to you.

If you start a new FB page, don't use your first and last name. I have friends who love using FB but don't want to be "found" by certain people, so they use their first name, and then use their middle name as a last name. She won't be able to find you, but you can slowly add all of your old friends...

Melanie's Randomness said...

Ohhh dear Oh Im sorry to hear this. Is there any way to contact any of your friends to see if they have saved some of your photos that other people have uploaded?? Or yeah contact facebook about the deletion?? I agree Stay away from her, don't try to contact her or anything or if Rian hears from her don't answer at all. Maybe she'll get the message. definitely send facebook a message, maybe they can do something. *hugs*

Savvy Gal said...

oh my gosh. can you put a restraining order against her. it is really scary what kind of things a crazy person can do.

Mina said...

You should call the police, for harassment. I had to do it before. It's so messed up that she's after you like this.

The Owl's Closet said...

oh my goodness, i'm so sorry u're going through this:( i agree, she does sound unstable. i'm actually afraid for ur safety. perhaps, u could report her to the police for harassment? regarding ur fb account, is there anyway u could make an appeal? i hope things will work out soon:)

Mint Scented Kerrie said...

The Makebelieve world is a place whick creates feelings which are stronger than natural. It provides a kind of sparkling excitement within painful situations and downcast mindsets. It's looking at ordinary things in a profound way. It's above the mediocre everyday, but not beyond the every-moment. Isuccessfullydistractedyoufromthis
But still, take something from it.

Embers mean flame, flame means fire, put it out before your house burns down.
One word, one abbreviation, & one sentence.
Janurary. L.A. You must visit me! I will die of loneliness.
Heh, highly unlikely, but possible. (I could break my leg or something and be cooped up all day. WHO KNOWS?)

Mint Scented Kerrie said...

Ahhh! Just got another email from you-know-who. San Fran the 17th. I will call you in the a.m.

Nina said...


I am soooo angry for you! I've experienced the same thing and like you, was unable to hit back in any form as the perpetrator was anonymous (I was being sent unsettling, vague messages and threats) and therefore unreachable.

To have sent Facebook false information about you is wicked and unfounded. Be assured that what goes around comes around. (And not a moment too late, please!)

I'm sending you a big hug and a BEAUTIFUL BLOOGER AWARD from my blogsite! Please get it?! I hope it cheers you up even a little? Even if this one person is loony enough to think you're whatever, there are a million and one people like me who think that you're a veritable ray of sunshine!



Sherin said...

OMG, She does sound really crazy. I think I read in one of the earlier comments that it may not necessarily be perpenant deletion, so you might get your old account back. Its so stupid she would do that though. Would there be anyway you could complain to facebook about it? I think you should also send her a harsh email telling her to f-off and leave you alone.

Macaron Treats ♥♥ said...

Thats creepy. she has issues and yeh u should stay away from her, she obiously needs help. Stay safe and you should report her


AudreyAllure said...

that's really scary, and what a creeper this girl is! i had a similar problem, only difference was that this girl was obsessed with my boyfriend's brother but seeked comfort from my boyfriend. my bf is usually too nice but after awhile he got fed up too but still remained nice. i convinced him to tell her to f*ck off & he finally did. & since he's usually so nice, this girl got the point and stopped contact all together lol.

Anonymous said...

That is insane, women can be so insane!
I had a similar incident, where a girl who was obsessed with me being with my boyfriend hacked into all my emails, files and any personal information I had in my computer. Then decided to make threatening emails telling me she knows where I live (which she did) the scary part is going to the Police and telling me they cant do anything about it! I honestly have to say you have to just ignore it, don't let it run your life (which is what happened to me) If it gets so ugly to the point where she is threatening you see what you can do with higher authority, but until then simply ignore it. this bitch is crazy!

hope it helps!

Inspiration in Italy said...

My mouth literally dropped open when I read that they deleted your account!!!! WHat?!?!?? That is just one thing - the girl sounds nuts! It is so strange to me when you randomly come across people in life that do the strangest is like certain people cannot just have a life of their own, they instead want to obsess over your life and everything that you do, people that you know, and in YOUR case...your boyfriend!

I'm so sorry for all of your troubles hun, you are too wonderful to have to go through such drama!


Couture Cookie said...

That sounds horrible! I'm so sorry, honey. First off, you need to go to the police and your boyfriend must go with you to back up your story. SEcondly, do not give up on getting your FB back. Your account is most likely still on their server, but it's shut off from you as well as the public. Demand that someone takes a look at it before they cut it for good - it's ridiculous that they can just delete it without warning you in advance.

I hope you get it back! As for that girl, your boyfriend really needs to step up and take responsibility. She is HIS problem, not yours.


Keith said...

Thanks for stopping by and commenting on my blog. I greatly appreciate it. I wanted to let you know that I'm having trouble with my internet access right now. I'm not able to get online as much as I would like, but I did want to visit your blog. I hope you will have a great week. Cheers!

Rachel said...

I am so sorry that you have had to go through all of this. The girl sounds completely nuts. And it's so unfortunate that you your account was deleted because of her.

I don't have a Facebook so I don't know much about it. However, Ashley pointed out that you might be able to get everything back. If I were you, I would take her advice and try to email them. Hopefully they will be understanding and give you your account back.

If you do get it back, or make a new account, is there any way you can block this girl from contacting you? Can't you make your account private so she can't see all your personal information? It's unfortunate that she knows so much information about you (where you work, etc.). I suppose it's just best to keep some information off the Internet. But hopefully she won't try to interfere with your life in any other way.

daisychain said...

Bloody hell, I'm sorry it has been such an awful and scary year for you :( xxx

Jaime said...

That is scary- I'm so sorry!

I think the page won't be completing deleted... my brother deleted his and decided he wanted to go back on and it was all there.... I hope this happens for you too!

Cafe Fashionista said...

Ummm...I think you should file a police report maybe. It just seems like she's unstable, and she could, potentially, be a threat to both you and your boyfriend. Just for your own safety, it might be a good idea!! :/

Couture Carrie said...

2 words, darling: Restraining Order. Make sure you document all her behavior in order to make it stick. Good luck. I know 2010 is going to be your year!


Birgit said...

That girl is scary, you should really send an e-mail to facebook. I'm pretty sure that they will and can help you. Thank you for your comment at my blog btw.& haha it doesn't matter that you can't help me I'll be all right.


Tom Bailey said...

This is JUST my viewpoint:

I am very sorry you are in this situation.

My viewpoint is being made without all the facts but here goes....

Your boyfriend needs to step in and help with this situation. The vast majority of women stop going after a guy if the guy ignores or makes it clear to them they have no interest.

How they met. How they know eachother etc. is important ... what she did was out of line.

If a woman that I was with had this issue I would find a way to resolve the problem without letting her have further stress.

If he does not it is more of an issue with him than her.

Kindest regards,
Tom Bailey

Iva said...

ACK! on no!! I'm with CC on this! 2010 is your year! Everything will be ok!

Some Girl said...

That chick is crazy. I'd be scared. Maybe it's time to get the police involved.

Tights Lover said...

You think she's unstable? I'm for GD sure she's unstable, just by reading this post. I feel like people are just losing their minds lately.

I agree that you should get a restraining order. No sense in taking chances with her.

Sorry about Facebook. I can't believe they'd just delete it on you over one person's claims. They really need to look at that policy.

I really hope everything works out okay for you and your bf!

MJ said...

I think I'd take pre-emptive action and inform your work about her, just in case she tries anything.

Maybe either call her local police and ask them to have a word with her? In the UK, stalking laws are pretty all-encompassing [as soon as you feel threatened the police can step in], with the number of high-profile cases in the US your laws have got to be good too?

I wouldn't send her an aggressive e-mail as some people have been advising if I were you - from my experience with people like that, it'll add more fuel to the fire and weaken your case if she goes any further. Ignore her as much as you can - I hope this turns out ok for you!

betz said...

OMG! I don't know what to say. I'm sorry about this. I can't imagine that happening to me. I will be so beyond furious! maybe you can contact facebook and try to explain. hope everything will be fine. and i hope she will not do anything worse than this.

Nevertheless, have a great Christmas. don't let this psycho ruin this season.

OceanDreams said...

You most certainly need to A. report this girl to the police and B. contact Facebook and let them know what happend. I agree with what Ashley said, I am sure there is a way to get your account back. Here's hoping anyway.

I am sorry this happened and is happening to you, you do not deserve her meanness and nastiness during the holidays too. I am so super mad for you love. Do not let her ruin your happiness no matter how bad it gets. You can rise above it, you can!

Hope you have a better week and are able to enjoy Christmas. XO for you!

Taylor S. said...

I'm sure everyone is going to tell you the same thing that i am going to tell you. This girl is really crazy and i think if things continue to get really out of hand you should get the police in it. For now, avoid her as much as possible. Good luck with everything

love taylor

stardustandberries said...

I'm really sorry to hear that. This is the first time I've been on your blog, so forgive me if I comment on this anyway. I have a best friend whose ex-bf wouldn't leave her alone and sent threat letters to her current bf, her family, and her closest friends. My friend had to move to Germany for one year so the creep wouldn't be able to contact her and eventually gave up. I really hope it never comes to that, but maybe it's a good idea to have a few backup plans like an alternate place to live in case she comes to find you, a few friends who you can call for immediate backup, and
if it comes to it, report her to the local police and see what they can do.

I hope that helps and that you enjoy the holidays even with all this going on.

Anna from

Miss Caitlin S. said...

CRAZZZZZZZZZY!!! What a loser, seriously. But, like many have said before me, she most likely cannot have your entire account deleted, I am guessing that FB has all of your stuff still there- please keep us posted.

Also, please try to think of 2010 as a fresh slate!!

I did tag you in my blog btw... head up chica!

Nina said...

You're welcome, Jennifer! That award truly belongs to you!


Kristin said...

I wonder if maybe you should contact your local police dept. for advice? What a scary situation. I'm so sorry. I know how it is to lose photos. It's heart breaking!

Treacle (Stockings Addict) said...

Oh my goodness...that is frightening. She sounds almost like a stalker.

Please, please, please don't hesitate to involve the authorities if things continue to escalate.

Like you said, she sounds unstable and the most important thing is for you to be safe.

I'm sorry you're dealing with this. *hugs if you want them*

Beth Dunn said...

OMG! I'm so sorry. That is so awful. I know mean girls-but not this mean. You poor dear thing. Honey all I can say is you have to erase yourself-change numbers, privatize all that you can. She is after you in a major way. Stay strong love and I'll pray for an amazing 2010 you deserve it! xoxo


Anonymous said...

Unfortunately I did go through it, but I am glad you are not the only one. Like I said before women are CRAZY
just ignore it, and you'll be good!

lots of love =) and enjoy the new year!

English Rose ♥ said...

Darling this is so completely awful and scary for words. You seriously need to report her to the police as it is at the very least harrassment and if the worst comes to the worst get a resraining order out against her - from now on save every scary email/text/record calls etc and build up a file of evidence.

Also have you contacted facebook to tell them the whole situation? There is proably a way to get it all back especially under these circumstances.

Gosh, i'm so sorry to hear this, try to put it as far out of your mind as you possibly can, at least for Christmas and look forward to the New (and hopefully much much MUCH better)Year

I will keep everything crossed for you, keep me posted.

If I don't speak to you before, have a wonderfully safe and chic Christmas my darling =]

English Rose x

Amanda said...

This is terrible! So sorry this had to happen to you. I would first send an email to Facebook explaining the situation. they shouldn't be able to just delete an account like that. I'd seriously kick up a storm if that happened to me and get her kicked off facebook! And I agree with Mina, you need to get the police involved. No one should be allowed to make you feel that way.

dapper kid said...

Oh my how frightening. I would seriously see if you can approach the police about it! If all else fails, I mask as a ninja by night, I am sure I can arrange something ;)

Julie said...

not even sure what to say that is unbelievable and terrible

A Whimsical Girl Named Debbie said...

OMG, Jennifer! I am so SORRY to hear that you are going through this nightmare. Please file a police report and get a restraining order. If she is not stopped, I fear she may do something even more dangerous to you. I wish I could protect you and beat her A#@! for you, sweetie! I pray your holiday will not be ruined behind this wacko! Thinking of you!
A Whimsical Girl Named Debbie

Ela said...

Jen, I'm sorry to hear this.Talk to Rian and see if you g uys and come up with something together. I'm sure you have a good relationship with your boss and people at work, you might want to consider making them aware of the situation that way if anyone contacts them, they'll have a heads up and also not give out any info should anyone call asking about you, etc. Hoping this all goes away very soon.
Don't worry hon, 2010 will be a good one :)