Journalist. Mother. Bunny enthusiast. Pop culture junkie.

Journalist. Mother. Bunny enthusiast. Pop culture junkie.

Monday, May 30, 2011

"Where are my tits?"

"I am Myra Breckinridge, whom no man will ever possess. The new woman whose astonishing history started with a surgeon's scalpel, and will end... who-knows-where...Who is Myra Breckinridge? What is she? Myra Breckinridge is a dish, and don't you ever forget it, you motherfuckers—as the children say nowadays."

This 1970 film stars Mae West, Raquel Welch, John Huston, and Farrah Fawcett.

It is about a man who gets a sex change operation and turns into a gorgeous bombshell of a woman.

Sounds like the greatest film in the entire world, right?

You are wrong. So, so wrong.

Rian and I made this mistake when we picked up Myra Breckinridge from the library the other day.

It is one of the worst movies in the world.

Where do I even begin?

This X-rated film tries so hard to be avant-garde that it falls off the tracks into a gigantic wreck.

It is simply too chaotic, with no transition. There are dozens of classic film clips inserted randomly throughout the movie. There are scenes which have no meaning and don't belong.

It is awkwardly sadistic, with scenes that are supposed to be poignant but only end up cringe-worthy.

Mae West is a disaster and she only appears for 15 minutes or so, although she is topped billed. The Hollywood legend, at 75 years old, plays a sex-addicted Hollywood talent agent who randomly sings an awful song for no reason in the middle of the film. It is so horrific, it is almost comedic. I cringed as the senior citizen lewdly spewed lines such as, "Don't forget to remind me about the policeman's balls - I mean police show!"

Ironically (and sadly), this film was Mae's first return to movies in almost 30 years. It was supposed to jumpstart her career. It didn't.

I am incredibly disappointed that this movie was such an epic failure because it had all the potential of being a kick-ass film.

Myra Breckinridge was the screen version of the best-selling 1960s novel of the same name. The book was a phenomenal hit at the time, almost defining the sexual revolution with its naked portrait of homosexuality and a gender-bending society. Studio executives had hoped the movie would do the famous book justice.

The film was also supposed to be the spectacular debut of Raquel Welch's acting abilities. Instead, it ended up ruining her career.

After seeing a documentary about Myra Breckinridge, I discovered the making of it was even more disastrous than the film itself!

Studio executives chose Michael Sarne, a 20-something-year-old hippie, to direct the film, even though he barely had any film experience. They hoped his youth and coolness factor would make the film a hip new hit for 20th Century Fox.

Unfortunately, the kid was overwhelmed by the entire experience. He was intimidated by his famous cast, he was too timid to contradict the studio or producer, and he naively spent too much time filming scenes that had nothing to do with the content of the film.

The cast despised him and unsuccessfully rallied to get him fired.

Mae West caused havoc on the set by being openly jealous of her much younger and beautiful costar, Raquel Welch. She was cold to her between takes, refused to be in any frame of film with her, and even tried to steal her wardrobe.

The cast members were terribly unhappy with the script and during filming, they openly voiced their discontent to anyone who would listen, whether it was a lawyer or journalist.

When Gore Vidal, the author of the book, saw the film, he was humiliated and disgusted.

Plus, numerous legendary Hollywood stars, from Shirley Temple to Loretta Young, successfully sued the filmmakers for using clips of them in the X-rated movie.

When the film was released, it was so bad, it shocked viewers and film critics around the world. It was (and still is) considered one of the worst films ever made. 20th Century Fox executives admitted later on that the film was so bad, it almost destroyed the entire studio.

Michael Sarne never made another movie again and it was even heavily rumored that he ended up being a waiter in a pizzeria only a few years after his box-office disaster was released.

Insane, huh?

I am so intrigued with the behind-the-scenes story, I totally think there should be a movie about the making of the movie!

Anyway, save a couple hours of your life and don't watch this film. It's just not worth it.

(If you want to see an awesome avant-garde film from the 1960s, I highly suggest Petulia. It's one of my faves.)

PS. Don't forget to enter my Shabby Apple Dress giveaway!


Asta said...

wow..i actually want to see the movie to see how bad it is..hehe

Josie said...

Aw, I'm sorry it was so terrible, doll! As always, though, a brilliant review.
xo Josie

Meri said...

hahaha- perhaps after a few (or several) drinks, this would be more funny and less ridiculous and hard to watch?

Andrés Corella said...

Great..Bad Review haha..Well I don´t think I´ll ever get to see the movie dunno if I´ll be able to find it here..but I guess there´s no point in trying to either haha...though as Asta I am quite curious to see how bad it is xD

The Black Label

Fashion Cappuccino said...

Wow Jennifer! Thank you for the warning! It sounds so bad and although I'm slightly tempted to see it, I won't! I didn't know movies can be rated as "X"?! Is it because they're worse than NC-17? xoxoxoo

Sherin said...

OMG, it sounds awful. Judging from the storyline, it had potential to be kick ass. And so shocking at the behind the scenes stuff. With problems like that, it's no wonder the film flopped.

Tanvi said...

That does sound terrible and makes me curious all the more!!! You sure have seen some really random movies and television, no?

♡ from ©

Sarah said...

Will be sure to avoid this one!

Vanilla - notes from my closet said...

I think I will avoid this film! ha ha :) although I never seem to see the films you review in my video store or anywhere else for that matter... am I looking in the wrong places? :(

Love, vanilla

a woman's right to shoes said...

Haha, that is so funny. I would love to see this film now just to see how bad it really is ;)

LiezyL said...

oh my, i cant help but cringe!

Vivek Nanda said...

You write so well..I love your writing..Immensely expressive

Sisters and Sisters said...

Love the bra in the pictures!

H&C from Amsterdam

Olga said...

Thank you for the tip about the movie. It's unbelievable how a great idea and a great lineup of actors might not guarantee that a disaster won't take place.

Missed Periods said...

You are absolutely right: there should be a movie about the making of it. I'm serious.

David L Macaulay said...

oh-my-god - this sounds like the worst movie ever. I don't recall it being on my Netflix queue

FashionJazz said...

Brilliant review as always! Happy Monday hun xx

Anonymous said...

Wow I've not read it, but it's so disappointing when you go into watching a film with such high expectations and you're let down :(

Bhav x

Bonnie said...

The title of your post seriously almost made me pee myself.
You always give such great reviews. Even if the movie sounds horrible (like this one), I still want to see it just so I know what you are talking about.
However, "X" rated movies always peak my interest.
Probably because I am a sick, twisted, dirty girl.
Or I'm just too curious for my own good.
Twitter: @GlamKitten88

figo said...

haha i havent seen the movie and i now know not to pick it up. the girls look great though.
thanks for the heads up&
thank you for the comment on my blog. i am not following you!!!! great posts!

Michelle Lee said...

nice review post!

JoaNNa said...

oooohh thanks for the review! the general story line does sound interesting though. i hope some director will remake it to be better! :)

le sorelle said...

haha i can't believe i've never heard of this movie! thanks for warning us all - the backstory sounds much more interesting!

sorelle in style

Kavery said...

Holy moly -that sounds like one bad film. The name sounds familiar but I'm sure I haven't seen it

Miss Caitlin S. said...

haha well now I want to actually see it and see how horrible it is! I mean, the plot sounds absolutely horrible, but all of your points as to why only intrigue me more, haha! Raquel Welch looks amazing in this.

The Blonde Duck said...

Winners posted!

Couture Carrie said...

You are hysterical, darling!
I'll skip it!


English Rose ♥ said...

Haha I always love horrifically awful movies, but they have to almost be laughable and enjoyable because they're so bad - otherwise it just feels like a waste of life.

I've missed you and your lovely blog SOOOOOOO much darling, how have you been?

If you haven't already, check out my new bi-annual online fashion magazine and spread the word:

Hope you're staying safe and chic dearest!

English Rose x

Cafe Fashionista said...

I so love Raquel Welch - she is just exquisite; nevertheless, I don't think I would ever want to see this film! :/

Christopher said...

At least raquel welch is really hot.

Sick by Trend said...

fantastic haha

Tights Lover said...

Is it messed up that your review makes this movie sound so bad that I actually want to see it.....just to see how bad it is? In the end, I'll probably just trust your judgement and skip it...but my curiosity is really piqued now...

ps. Don't worry about your no-tights-in-100-degree-weather rule. Perfectly acceptable. We're still friends :).

Ashley Rae said...

Wow. Great review. I will make sure not to ever rent this movie. It's sounds too stressful. Lol.
Thanks so much for the comment. I really appreciate it!


Dilan Dilir said...

hope you had a great day!

iris said...

Have you ever seen "The Room"? It's known as "The Citizen Kane of bad movies." It's bad. Like, can't-be-fixed-by-alcohol bad.

Venus In Virgo said...

I never saw this! I need to see it now! Awesome movie review XOXO

Pop Champagne said...

haha worst movies in the world! hmm I think some really bad movies I've seen lately are "No Strings Attached" with natalie portman and ashton kutcher and "the tourist". I'm interested to see if this movie is worst than those two!

Kristin said...

Dude...Now I'm intrigued...Hahaha!

Strawberry Freckleface said...

Love all the hair and makeup here, though! xo

strawberry freckleface

valncami said...

hm i hate when that happens. sounds like a bummer of a movie! but raquel welsh is still gorgeous.

thank you for your lovely comment on our blog!! we really appreciate it <3

hope you'll come visit us again soon!
xo, camilla & valerie

lauren lanza osias said...

ohmygoodness, how fascinating!?!? i would totally watch a behind the scenes... but i think i will pass on the film. haha. i'm sorry you had to put yourself through that, but your retelling is throughly entertaining.
the bitch is back...

The Blonde Duck said...

I'm so glad you entered/ won the contest!

Ocean Dreams said...

Wow this film certainly looks, uh, interesting! Lol! I'll take your advice and stay away, but the pictures your posted were very entertaining to say the least!

*Glam Chameleon* said...

Well I wanted to see it just because some scenes seem interesting, but if u say not, then i'll go for another recommendation of yours- Petulia!:)

StyleID said...

Now I want to see it :) :) seriously, you made me curious as to how bad it is.
I love Rachel Welch, I think she is great acting so it would almost be funny to see her having a 'bad day'.
I enjoy your description of the film, thanks,

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