Journalist. Mother. Bunny enthusiast. Pop culture junkie.

Journalist. Mother. Bunny enthusiast. Pop culture junkie.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

WHY ME?



When I was a tween, my favorite magazine was Seventeen. And one of my favorite features of that magazine was the embarrassing moments section. I believe it was called, "Why me?".

Some of that shit was craaaaazy!

Well, I'm going to be honest with you. I know this is shocking, but even I have had embarrassing moments in my life.

I'm serious.



I know it is hard to believe, since I am so fabulous and perfect and gorgeous, but let's be real: even I am not immune to awkwardness.

My heart is in your hands as I reveal my heartbreaking stories. Please be gentle.


The Wrap Skirt



When I was in seventh grade, wrap skirts were all the rage. My mom bought me a white one, but neither one of us could figure out how to wrap it properly. One morning, she triumphantly turned me around in the mirror to show that she had mastered the skirt. I was pleased. The skirt was adorable.

That morning, I rode the bus to school. I sat in the front row. The bus pulled up to the school and I jumped out of my seat. As soon as I stood up, my wrap skirt fell off! The bus got SILENT. Every single kid on the bus was staring at me with their mouth open. I was in paralyzed shock. I couldn't believe I was standing in front of 20 of my schoolmates, wearing nothing but a floral shirt and striped underwear. It was like being in a nightmare. I gathered up my skirt around my waist and ran outside, sobbing.


Bubble Gum



When I was in college, I had a massive crush on the hottest guy working at our campus newspaper.

He called me at home one afternoon and I was thrilled. He flirted. I flirted back. I was very coy. I was very cool. I was doing a terrific job of being sexy, which is unusual for me.

"I scored free tickets to the Jason Mraz concert tonight," he told me.

"Oh my god, I love him," I gushed, even though I didn't.

"Do you want to go with me?" He asked casually.

"I'd---" was all I could say. "Klwack. Sclawwwwwwk! Gaaaaalk!"

I was choking on my gum! I couldn't talk! I could only hack into the phone. In horror, I hung up on him so he wouldn't hear me gag anymore. I didn't answer his calls afterward because I was too embarrassed.

Later, I found out that he had called a mutual friend of ours to see if I was still alive. He thought I had died on the phone!

(Happy ending: we did end up dating for a year and a half...and he often teased me about that stupid phone call).


Messy Purse



During my first week as a news reporter, I was asked to interview the mayor. I wore an elegant tweed suit and my nude Ralph Lauren pumps. I acted very professional and mature for someone only 22-years-old. The interview went extremely well. The mayor even commented that he was impressed with me!

After the interview, we shook hands. Then, he realized he had forgotten to sign a form and asked me quickly if he could borrow my pen, which I had already thrown into my purse.

I rummaged through my purse, which was filled to the brim. I found my nail polish, cell phone, hand lotion, wallet, keys, and my foundation. But no pen. Finally, my hands grasped it at the bottom of my purse. I triumphantly handed it to him.

But it was NOT a pen.

...it was a tampon. The mayor stared dumbfounded at the tampon he was holding. I stared at it. We looked at each other in shock. He awkwardly handed the tampon back to me.

"I'll see if my secretary has a pen," he said quickly, before giving an awkward wave and walking away.

Holy shit.


What was your most embarrassing moment?

45 comments:

Jenny in Ohio said...

hahahah....those are really making me LOL. I've pulled the tampon out of my purse accidentally, but never in front of anyone important!

The Blonde Duck said...

You don't want to know.

MG said...

I block those out. But I'm sure I can think of something...

lalabang said...

I don't know how to explain it but this was: I walking in this bid ave. and wearing my new white bag (it was very cute) and suddenly I tripped! But because I didn't want the bag to get dirty so was trying no to fall down, but in the end my face and bag were down.

Dahl said...

Omigosh, these are painfully hilarious! The tampon one must've been extremely embarrassing, I feel for you. Embarrassing moments always crack me up, but at the same time I feel awful for the person living them. Something really awkward actually happened to me just this afternoon. Camp was over and I was walking up the steps to the lobby-ish area when suddenly my nose started bleeding, REALLY heavily. It was a steady stream of blood and it got all down my shirt and in my mouth and made my retainer taste disgusting. I had to run all the way to the ladies room, past several groups of children, until I made it to the bathroom, where I washed up. http://thearcenciel.blogspot.com/

Melanie's Randomness said...

You are awesome. I love the tampon story and the skirt story!! I think I missed out on the wrap skirts. Kinda glad I did if that was a possible result of one! Aww about the gum. <3!

I remember an embaressing moment was in an 8th grade I said "Uncle Floyd" instead of "Hurricane Floyd". Ohh it was bad. hehe.

Shannon said...

I was waiting for the tampon story. Every good "WHY ME?" article in Seventeen had a tampon story.

My favorite stories were when some guy tried ripping the frayed denim off a girls jean shorts only to pull out a tampon.

Oh yes. Those were good stories!

-E- said...

i once ran full speed into a light pole trying to catch a frisbee. a girl i liked was watching as well.

NiNJADALiA. said...

this post is great actually and it made me giggle a lot, even though it's embarrassing stories, they're extremely funny as well.

I can't actually pick a few embarrassing things that have happened to me, i've been in to many awkward moments!

xo Dalia
http://wannadecodeme.blogspot.com

Megan Younce said...

ahh I loved WHY ME!

When I was in 9th grade, my class was sitting on the gym bleachers for some reason. I was about 6 steps up from the bottom, and the guy I liked asked if anyone had gum. Super excited to be the one to provide said gum, I stood up to walk down the bleachers a little too quickly and my foot slipped and I slid all the way down to the bottom on my butt and guess who I landed RIGHT next to? Yep. Dude.

So stupid looking back on it but at the time I was SO embarrassed!

David L Macaulay said...

ha, ha Jennifer - the tampon story is so funny. One of my colleague interviewed an actress all about a film she was never in. That was funny,

Bree said...

these were hilarious! <3 It's okay! We all have them. I've had a couple of them haha.

One that stood out would be my 8th grade christmas advent service. We rehearsed for weeks to sing x-mas songs in front of our parents and parish people. On the night of the service, while we were singing, I almost fainted in front of everyone and I fell down! It was so embarrassing, but funny! haha!

xoxo, Bree

http://vivalabreee.blogspot.com/

Chic 'n Cheap Living said...

You have the best stories. I had a wrap skirt incident of my own but it occurred as we were walking out for a fire drill. Awkward. Please do not exit yet because I need to adjust myself...
Otherwise the gum story is kinda sweet and glad it worked out for a while!

p.s. If you get to NY/LA some time, you can definitely score at a sample sale! I'm sending future travel/shopping vibes your way ;)

xoxo,
Chic 'n Cheap Living

Kc said...

Hehe tampons always seem to appear at the most inappropriate times! Love your little life stories :)

Kc

http://a-sparkley-silver-lining.blogspot.com/

Evil Nelly said...

LMBO! This is hilarious! I loved the tampon story the best!

Alright, I have decided to share one lil tidbit.

I used to be a paying guest at a friend's house for a year while I was in college and I used to sleep in this room next to her parents' bedroom. Every single night they used to have loud, rough sex and every morning I had to sit with this couple and have breakfast and pretend nothing ever happened. I dunno what was worse, mental images of this aging couple doing the nasty or wondering which of the food items on the table were part of the 'midnight show'.. *shudders*

hugs,
Nelly
www.massacredmascara.blogspot.com

socialitedreams said...

bwahahahahahaha, omg these made me die a little on the inside for you. the gum and the mayor one made me snort laughing, i loved this post! i'm soooo sorry


Vonnie
http://www.socialitedreams.com/

Kristin said...

The tampon takes the cake!

erinj0 said...

Ha-ha this is like my favorite post (I definitely could have said that many times, so...I REALLY like this post!) I have so many embarrassing moments. I couldn't imagine have my skirt fall down in front of my whole class :/ That must have been terrible! When I was in 1st grade, the teacher would not let me go to the bathroom and I begged and begged. You can guess what happened from there...it was awful :(

erinj0 said...

P.S. I (still) think that skirt is extra cute!!

Mouthwash said...

OOh Jen!! HAHAHA
I've got one for you. When I was young - the concept of "sex" really freaked me out. SO, I decided to write to COSMOGIRL and ask if I was normal...
Well, guess what? THEY PRINTED MY QUESTION IN THE MAGAZINE. Of course they tweaked it at little and added some "like"'s and "totally"'s in there...Well, being from and Island, and a small town, and the ONLY girl name Amber...
Everyone knew it was me. And everyone went out and got a copy...

Amber
Ambersmouthwash

Josie said...

Jen, these are SO much better than those embarrassing moments! Especially the bubblegum one. Although I do love the steamy ones in Cosmo...
xo Josie
www.winksmilestyle.com

Meri said...

oh my gosh, I totally forgot about "why me" section of 17. A lot of other teen magazines kind of tried to copy it too I remember. My sister and I always read through them to find the stupidest ones haha.

Alyssa said...

Ahahaha wow that's crazy! I know what section you're talking about in the Seventeen magazine. My embarrassing moments are countless. The worst was when I was on my period (ah, periods). I had no protection and I was not expecting my period to begin. It was bad! ha Anyway now that we have gotten to know each other on a different level I am now following you! However, I think you have a really cool blog! Follow back?

beautyandfashionmashup.blogspot.com
-The BF Mashup

Leia said...

Oh my gosh. These stories are amazing! I hope you submitted them to Seventeen!! The best was the one about the mayor, I think... but I'm glad he didn't make a big deal of it and just carried on.

Leia

daisychain said...

Oh I love you so much.

lifeontherocks said...

oh my god! u r just so cute! handed the mayor a tampon!!! i dont think i can top that fun. but sweetie u r still fabulous :)

Pia said...

Goodness, those stories are too funny! Thank you for making me laugh today. :)

Pop Champagne said...

lol did you end up seeing Jason M in concert?? I'd love to see him perform haha. and so cute that you ended up going out with him

Sam said...

Oh my goodness! First of all, those pictures you added are just so cute! It just adds to it! And the bubble gum story!!! I'm sorry, but I find those kinds of embarrassing stories the most adorable ones! :)

http://samalamode.blogspot.com

Miladies said...

LOL! We really have enjoyed that post :)

Kisses from www.bpeinternational.blogspot.com

Miladies**

Belly B said...

HAHAHHAHAHA you have no idea how hard I laughed at "he called our mutual friend to see if i was still alive. he thought I died on the phone!" Hahahhahahah I. can't. stop.

<3 Belly B

Tights Lover said...

Oh my...I just laughed my ass off at the bubblegum story. Good thing you were okay!

Miksu said...

Must say, your blog is the nicest one to read! I like the way you write and tell things :D

I have not had embarrassing moments... yet :D

Sunny & Star said...

I try so hard to forget all of the embarrassing moments I have gotten myself into. I think my most embarrassing moment ever was falling off bumper boats in front of dozens and dozens of people.

Francesca R said...

Well you have a pretty good collection of embarassing moments....
Me too unluckily and you don't wanna know....
xx
http://dontcallmefashionblogger.blogspot.com

Ask Erena said...

LOL!Story about a tampon is too funny:-)You have a nice blog....Would you like to follow each other?
hugs,
xx
Ask Erena
http://askerena.blogspot.com

Style, She Wrote said...

Your wrap skirt disaster is MY WORST NIGHTMARE. As far as embarassing blunders -- I'll never tell! (Mwuahaha - devious laugh) :) xo style, she wrote

Susie said...

Hahaha! These were hilarious! I remember the "Why Me" section in seventeen too--it was the best! Although, sometimes I would wonder if those things actually did happen to people, because some of them seemed too horrible to be true! Major LOL at the wrap skirt and tampon stories!

Bonnie said...

AAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA.
This post makes me love you even more than I already did, which I doubted was possible. Apparently, it is. Because I do.
I don't have any embarrassing moments. Well, none like this.
I'm pretty perfect, after all.
Except for that one time I was showing off how high I could kick my leg above my head in my friend's house. I did it on slick, wooden floors, and I was wearing socks. My leg slipped out from underneath me, and I landed flat on my back/ass. And my crush was there to see it all.
... That was pretty embarrassing.

http://www.glamkittenslitterbox.com/
Twitter: @GlamKitten88

Raji said...

Aww, I have to admit I gave a little chuckle at your embarrassing stories but the good thing is you can look back now and laugh. I think moments like those make us stronger and make us more able to deal with things in the future,I pity a person who hasn't had to think on their feet in an awkward situation, god knows I've had my fair share but I'm not brave enough to share them!

jos xx said...

hahaha, this post was so much fun to read! i had a couple of embarrassing moments - after all, who hasn't got one?

jos xx

Rachel said...

Hahahaha!
The bad thing is, I know I've had plenty of embarrassing moments but I don't remember most of them. Although, I do remember when I was in my middle school gym class, I had a rather painful experience. Every year the gym classes would divide into two groups. There would be a group for those who wanted to play field hockey (which only girls chose) and those who wanted to play flag football (only boys and a few girls chose this). Well, instead of playing field hockey, one day we played floor hockey inside. All of the girls were in their socks, running around. I was sitting at the top of the bleaches and when it was my team's turn to play, I took a few steps down the bleachers and fell. But not only did I fall... I slid. On my butt. Down every... Single... Step. My butt hurts just thinking about it. -_-

Fashion.MakeUp.LifeStyle said...

LMAO!!!This is why I absolutely love your posts! they're so personal and awesome and yes girl you're definitely one of the most fabulous bloggers I know.

Your stories had me rolling and trust me I totally identified me with the very first one as something like it happened to me at night club!! (no details needed) LOL.

Great post.


<3 Marina
Fashion.MakeUp.LifeStyle

Ocean Dreams said...

You handed him a tampon?! Your skirt fell down?! Good gosh girl you've been through it all!

Well, mine doesn't even begin to top your stories but I went back into class in grade school after a break when everyone was in class. Then I sat down but in fact my desk was moved and I landed flat on my ass in front of the entire class. Everyone was laughing but me.

Anonymous said...

I was in an upscale department in New Orleans trying on clothes. I then went downstairs, looking at jewelery when a little old man looked up at me, I tried to speak but he looked horrified and turned and walked away. I thought "that was weird"! I then looked down, my pants had fallen down to my ankles. I was mortified to say the least! I pulled my pants up and promptly left the store. My brother loves to tell that story everytime he is around a group of people. Needless to say, they laugh!