Journalist. Mother. Bunny enthusiast. Pop culture junkie.

Journalist. Mother. Bunny enthusiast. Pop culture junkie.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Parody of a Fashion Blogger

Hello fashionistas!

So here I am, guest posting on "I Know, Right?"! Lucky you!!

Let me introduce myself, although all of you should already know me. I'm Chrissy, an attractive 18-to-25-year-old who has the hottest fashion blog of the week called 2 Haute 4 U.



I dress very hip and sophisticated, so most of my followers are a bit intimidated by me, and honestly, I don't blame them. I rock.

I started my blog two months ago and I already have 1,239 followers! Besides spamming every fashion blog I come across ("Nice post! FOLLOW ME!"), I don't really have anything else to justify my success other than me just being gorgeous! (That, and I created 850 fake Blogger profiles to follow my blog).

You may notice that my outfit photos look like fashion editorials. It's because my boyfriend is a professional photographer. He loves taking photos of me because I'm hot and I love having my photo taken because I'm hot. So starting a fashion blog was like destiny for me! I'm so pretty.



You may also notice I only wear the latest couture designer clothes and shoes. And yes, it IS true: I do own 58 Louis Vuitton bags. *blushes*

If I wear anything older than 2010, I label it vintage, and if I happen to be wearing something from Urban Outfitters, I just call it "thrifted" because it sounds better. After all, I need working class girls like you to feel like you can relate to me, but I would never actually step foot into a thrift store, let's be real.



Some of my followers have asked me how I manage to afford a $1,000 per week wardrobe since I clearly don't have a job. It's because my other boyfriend (the married one) is an investment banker and he buys me whatever I want. Jealous much?

Did you see the 14 new ads on my blog that kind of make it difficult for you to access the site? I have a lot of banners and pop-up ads because I like money. Plus, I think it makes me look really professional. I'm sorry for the clutter. (I'm not sorry).



Oh, and if you're wondering why I don't show much personality on my blog, it's because I don't have one.

Anyway, I'm already starting to receive personal invitations to New York Fashion Week and movie premieres and other events in New York City. It won't be long before I'm simply way too cool to even look at anyone else's blog, so you better talk to me while you can. Because give me one more month and I will be like, "bitch, please. Blogger who?"

I'm so glad you worship me and love my blog and clearly think this is the greatest guest post in the world!

Thanks Jessica Fabulous. Luv you!

DON'T FORGET TO CHECK OUT MY BLOG 2 HAUTE 4 U!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DON'T FORGET TO CHECK OUT MY BLOG 2 HAUTE 4 U!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DON'T FORGET TO CHECK OUT MY BLOG 2 HAUTE 4 U!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

47 comments:

sahrish shamim said...

nice post ....
http://fashionstyle-pk.blogspot.com/

Fashion, Art and other fancies said...

LOL. This is so wonderfully hilarious! I so enjoyed reading this piece. LOL. I am actually still grinning from ear to ear now.
Seriously, you captured the mood beautifully in this post. lol.

Sarah said...

So funny!
x

azu said...

HAHAHAHA!

Love it!

Sherin said...

Haha. Definitely one of the funniest things I've ever read! Loved it. My favourite bit: 'I label anything before 2010 as Vintage'. I'm sharing this with everyone!

Bienvenue chez French Girl in Seattle... said...

Girl, it is obvious Carrie Bradshaw has NOTHING on you! You go. I am glad to be one of your followers! ;-) Veronique aka French Girl in Seattle

daisychain said...

I actually love you.

jos xx said...

lol this is so funny!!! you're so great at writing!

jos xx

Natasha said...

I'm not intimidated by you... As a matter of fact, I have a secret crush on you :P well, it's not so secret anymore.. ;)

Cafe Fashionista said...

Haha! This is the PERFECT post - I love it! And now I want to be your BFF! :)

FashionJazz said...

Thisd is brilliant!!! :D xx

MG said...

This is hilarious. So spot on it isn't even funny, really. I was just talking to a friend about this. How there are so many damn fashion blogs and no one has a point of view or a pulse really.

Stephanie said...

Mahahah! This is hilarious. And also really snarky. Love it!

Punctuation Mark said...

very funny... great post!!!

Josie said...

You really do kill me sometimes, Jen. I love your fantastic snark!
xo Josie
www.winksmilestyle.com

Tanvi said...

You CRAZY CRAZY girl!!! This was HILARIOUS :)

♡ from © tanvii.com

Tights Lover said...

I don't know what to say. I'm feeling a bit too intimidated to comment. Help me!

Rose said...

One word... Amazing.

A BRIT GREEK said...

Ha ha ha haaaaaa!!! I'm still clutching me belly!

J-fab, this was a brilliant post! spot on down to a T lady!

Wishing you a fab rest of the week ker-a-zee gal!
x.o.x.o

Movies on my Mind said...

I get the sense you've actually encountered "Chrissy", and that your very funny parody of a shallowly vacuous fashion blogger is based on real professional observations.

If is the case then Chrissy is marriage material! How can one contact her!?!

Andrés Corella said...

G E N I O U S!!!!! I completely love it!

xx
Andy
The Black Label

wardrobemag said...

"Some of my followers have asked me how I manage to afford a $1,000 per week wardrobe since I clearly don't have a job."

Haha! That was definitely my favourite part!

Bhav x

About Last Weekend said...

Utterly and totally spot on!

Venus In Virgo said...

LOVES IT! I wanna smack her!
Hey, got the photos up now and guess what they are bringing back that cult nail polish! Thanks for thinking of me in my hour of earthquake hell. :) XOXO

Silvertigo said...

That's so awesome! :D Suddenly my outfit photos being so home-made looking doesn't feel too bad at all ;D You made my day, thanks for that! :D No one should take blogging (especially fashion one) too seriously. It's supposed to be fun, right? :D Keep it up! ;)

Meri said...

oh man, the sad thing is it took me about 2 months of blogging to figure these blogs out! I was so confused at first, and now you've created this lovely parody. Cheers Jennifer :)

Gayatri said...

"Oh, and if you're wondering why I don't show much personality on my blog, it's because I don't have one." PURE GOLD!!!!!

dreaming en francais said...

Haha great post! xo

http://dreamingenfrancais.blogspot.com/

Dina's Days said...

genius.

Kristin said...

Oh lady...You are too funny!

Fashion.MakeUp.LifeStyle said...

So funny...LOVE IT



<3 Marina
Fashion.MakeUp.LifeStyle

socialitedreams said...

bwahahaha! this is epic, i love it :D

Ikatrina said...

wow!!!
for a momant u made me speechless
(stupid cow) bwahahahaha..

ps : nice post! following u.. folmeback pls (spamming) hohohoho!

www.callmeikatrina.blogspot.com

the nyanzi report said...

cool post.

Petra Bellejambes said...

Pitch perfect. Nosed my coffee. Blouse ruined.

Needed saying, every damn word.

I will drink to your health and disposition tonight.

xxoo - Petra

Mouthwash said...

um....BEST.POST.FREAKING EVER. EVER EVER EVER.

I love you. And I love this.

I LOVE THIS.


Amber
Ambersmouthwash

Mouthwash said...

Man, if only I had seen this post... 2 year ago. My first year, I was happy. I started out when all the other, now "mega" bloggers started. Some I even started before! And when their blogs started to take off, I was like "...wha?" And I took it so hard. But now, I have seen the light, and you my dear, have the perfect outlook!

StyleIDnet said...

LOOOVE IT!! great post.
You make me laugh, smile or something of that sort, always, and this post was no different.

http://styleidnet.blogspot.com/
http://styleidcloset.blogspot.com/

Jaime @ La vie...J'aime said...

haha too funny! :)

cristina petre said...

this is a great post :))

D. S. said...

nice post ....

creativefashionglee said...

I got the point across, in a ver funny way. thanks Jennifer, you speak of truth. Personality, please!

drollgirl said...

um, this made me CACKLE. totally fucking hilarious. and i wish i had thought to do it, but you did it way better than i ever could!!!!!

Joy said...

Piece de resistance! Bleedin' brill!
I am so inspired! Thanks for this.
Joy x
http://alexdrakevintage.blogspot.com

Krystal said...

this was perfect :)

Arielle-HumblePieVintage said...

I spoke too soon. This is ALSO one of the funniest posts I've read lately. I can't wait until my next "link love" post so I can share it with my readers!

Thanks for linking us to these old posts today!

HKHQ said...

Very funny! We also did a video parody of a Hong Kong based fashion blogger. Check it out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VUaYN_TTTss