Journalist. Mother. Bunny enthusiast. Pop culture junkie.

Journalist. Mother. Bunny enthusiast. Pop culture junkie.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Reflections



I just want to thank everyone for the kind comments regarding my post from a couple days ago, I'm Hiring!.

I say this a lot, because it is true, but I am incredibly blessed to have so many wonderful and close friends in the blogging community. In the past two and a half years, I have gained some important people in my life (you know who you are) who have helped me get through the good times and the bad (mostly bad).

Creating a blog was the best decision I have ever made in my life, for that reason.

I think that is why it absolutely stuns me that bloggers like Chrissy exist in the blogosphere.

Here is a little online world, so full of love and acceptance and support, yet so many bloggers do not take advantage of it. They do not try to get to know other bloggers. What a shame! What a waste!

Well, it is their loss.

I often marvel at how easy it has been to make such close friends through blogging, when I can barely meet someone halfway decent in my own city.

I actually wasn't joking about wanting to "hire" a friend.

I'm not happy here in the real world.

In the past five years since graduating college, I've noticed my circle of friends dwindle down to nothing. Most of my friends moved across the nation or out of the country.

Others revealed their true backstabbing colors.

And now I'm left with a handful of people who don't seem to have much in common with me anymore.

Making friends after college is an incredibly frustrating experience.

There are the late 20-somethings who never want to grow up. They still live in frat-like houses and hold wild parties and only look forward to getting shit-faced drunk or high, because they have nothing else meaningful in their lives.

There are the boring career-climbers who are obsessed with their jobs and might be able to meet up for drinks with you at yuppie bar after work, but end up canceling because they just have SO MUCH WORK.

There are the young mothers, who don't really want to spend time with you because they can no longer relate to someone who hasn't spawned a child. So they cluck with their fellow mother hens about play dates and potty training and breast-feeding.

It just seems like I can't meet someone who is even remotely like me. Even though I know they exist. You are proof.

I just want to meet a friend in this town who enjoys curling up with a Jane Austen novel and a glass of wine on a rainy night. I want to meet a friend who loves history and learning about different cultures. I want to meet a friend who doesn't mind getting getting a little wild after a few drinks. I want to meet a friend who is fabulous.

I am already that girl.

Waiting.

32 comments:

sahrish shamim said...

very nice post ....
http://fashionstyle-pk.blogspot.com/

MG said...

Oh hey, I'm in a wedding in KC in feb. We should hang out, OR you can be my plus 1 and meet my friend Rose who is exactly like me. Sound good?

Pop Champagne said...

nice post, ya throughout university I went from having many friends to having just a dozen, drama etc and people change. but then you meet new people etc and your real friends stay no matter what :)

Mouthwash said...

I am so with you Jen. I understand completely. it has been a major struggle for me after college too. it seems every one either moved away, got married, or pregnant, or all 3. It's hard. I personally get tired of talking about men and boyfriends all the damn time, and it seems that my friends either want to be married, or have some sort of male drama. I want to talk about art, travel, and wear awesome outfits that my friends will EXCEPT rather than saying "are you REALLY going to wear that? you're so BRAVE" (what does that meeaann??)

So, come move to CA.


Amber

Julia, the Thanksgiving Girl said...

I can understand where you're coming from, it can indeed be a very frustrating thing trying to befriend people after you're done with all things school, because in the grown up world there are different rules for friending people, or so it seemed to me. BUT at the same time, I feel like the people I meet now are actually more like me than most of the people I used to meet back then - it's like we're connecting over different things. Know what I mean? :)

A BRIT GREEK said...

Mon petit pois, I can so relate to this post. Although some of your friends grow, evolve or whatever, we do too, so it's important to meet more like minded folk.

I did LOL at the bit about friends who are career climbers... gah & yawn!

Anyhoos, your real mates will always be there for you no matter what - dramas/babies/marriage/work etc and they don't judge too! Plus the one who are always there for you when you're in a state of crisis are the real keepers!
x.o.x.o

jos xx said...

oh, i can relate so much with what you have written, you almost took the words out of my brains. it's so nice to find people out here who are ready to listen to what you have to say...i completely agree on the fact that others don't really push themselves to make online friends. it's a shame.

i'm fabulous. let's me friends.

jos xx

Couture Carrie said...

Lovely post, darling!
Jane Austen + red wine = yay!

xoxox,
CC

Josie said...

Jen, you KNOW I'd be there with the novel! And a milkshake. Because I'm underage. But still. I'm terrified about how I'm going to meet people after college!
xo Josie

Tights Lover said...

I agree 100%. I went through the same thing 4 or 5 years after college. As time went on we'd try to reconnect here and there, but it never really seemed to work out.

I'm sorry you're feeling so lonely. But I know for a fact that your blogger friends are lucky to have you!

FashionJazz said...

Babe I can relate to everything you are saying.. I can honestly say that if we lived in the same area, lol and country I would be there with you chatting and catching up. Most of my friends my age , have kids, are married and live a very different life to myne. I have my close friends, they are all younger than me and i have close friends that are in the Industry...but yes its hard, so many of my friends cant relate to my life which is hard.

Just keep being ur fabulous self and you will find that person u can relate to : ) xx

Movies on my Mind said...

Jane Austen novels, glass of wine, loves history and learning about different cultures... I feel so inadequate Ms. Fabulous.

Oh well, there’s always Chrissy I suppose...

Kristin said...

There's hope sweets...I met some of my best friends in my mid twenties!

-E- said...

i don't know about the jane austen, but i agree with you about everything else!

Leia said...

Please come move in with me :( I'll do ALL OF THE ABOVE! Minus the drinking, but you won't mind, because I can get just as wild sans alcohol (promise). (Or just give me a cupcake, it has the same effect on me).

I <3 YOU!

Leia

Meri said...

I think the hardest part sometimes is knowing what a good friend is, and what you're looking for. Hang in there!

Sarah said...

Aww, my idea of an evening well spent is reading with a lovely cup of tea :)
x

Lisa said...

i love this and i totally get what you mean.. i moved away after college and i feel like i left a lot of friends behind.. and then right away i got married.. and i felt like it was just me and the hubs and that's it.. i suddenly woke up one day and was like ' omgosh where did all my gf's go!' this is why i love blogging i feel like it's connected me with girls all across the globe that have similar interests and loves!!

-E- said...

re your comment: you are!

Style, She Wrote said...

Hang in there lady! I am sure your digital darlings will turn into real life friends! xo style, she wrote

Ashley/ MILK TEETHS said...

Aw Jen, we'd so be IRL pals! I totally relate to this post. I feel like my friends have also dwindled down through the years because of the different paths we've taken and I also find that the older I get the less likely I am to put up with people who annoy me...lifes to short to suffer fools! This way of thinking doesn't add to my friend circle... but anyway, if you ever make it down to Southern California you have a friend. And thats a fact :)

Francesca R said...

Jennifer trust me it is normal to go through moments like these, you just have to be patient and wait and one more thing, you have abeautiful spirit!
Xx
http://dontcallmefashionblogger.blogspot.com

Sherin said...

I wish we lived closer! I could do with more friends as well: All my university friends seem to have disappeared and are busy 'career climbers', with no time AT ALL.
I agree though: I've made some amazinly awesome friends from all over the world, through blogging. It's an amazing community.

Natasha said...

You have just described me down to every detail :) Yeah, I like history & stuff, and I'm from a "different" culture. And obviously I'm fabulous :D Only we don't live in the same town... or even country :P

Meghan @ Wishful Thinking said...

I can totally relate to this post. I think I always expected the close friendships I had in school to last the rest of my life but people change, some grow up, most don't! Your 20s are a big transitional period in your life where you are still trying to figure out so many things. I think it is so important to surround yourself with good friends who have stacks in common with you or understand you just the way you are. Hang in there, things will get easier!

lifeontherocks said...

interesting post. I would sure love to meet up with u and also spend some time with u. Too bad that I live in India, maybe I will see u if ever u decide to give India a visit :)

Cafe Fashionista said...

Oh, I so wish that we lived in the same city, Jennifer. I imagine that we would be BFFs - and have glamorous adventures on a daily basis! :)

Cat said...

Awww ... honey, I totally know what you mean! It is so hard to find new friends that you really "click" with and look forward to spending time with {sorry, I don't mean for this to sound snobby ... I hope it came across the right way!} ... you are fabulous doll, and I am honored to count you among my blogger friends :)

♥ Cat brideblu

Imogen said...

I can totally relate to this. I can't believe how easy it is to find friends who are like me here and I just can't in the non blog world. Even in my whole life outside of blogging I have never found anyone like me. That is why I love you, because you understand me more than anyone else ever. I was actually thinking about you for most of yesterday and how much I appreciate this. Thanks for your last comment on my blog and yes, I used to dye my hair black then.

Gayatri said...

You're right Jennifer. The blogging community is so much more accepting than the real world. Wish everyone lived in the same city ... But, speaking from personal experience (losing a dozen friends after I got married), it's for the best. They aren't worth your time :)

Ocean Dreams said...

Oh honey I wish I was closer - we could totally hang out! I know how you feel though, I've had several friends disappear through the years and even though it is painful, you will find some treasures. xoxo.

Jadis said...

Call me. :D

PS. got to your Blog via Vix. DAMN good thoughts up here. :) plan to go through more of your posts, as i type.